Zombie Zeitgeist Redux

Posted on by scott

Over at Inside a Dog, YA writer Maureen Johnson has just extended and expanded her Insert a Zombie, Win a Prize contest.

The basic concept is that any scene in any book would be better with a zombie, a truth universally acknowledged among certain of us genre fans. (Scroll down to the blue text in this post for Maureen’s own example, featuring a zombie in Pride and Prejudice.) To enter the contest, just take a scene from any book and add a zombie to it.

For the contest’s new and improved iteration, celebrity judges Meg Cabot, John Green, E. Lockhart, and Justine Larbalestier will choose the winning entry!

Here’s my entry, though I probably won’t win, given that I’m married to one of the judges.

Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Zombies.

It was the best of apocalypses, it was the worst of apocalypses. It was an age of brain eating, it was an age of shotguns. It was the epoch of damaging the head, or of removing it from the body. It was the season of light infantry weapons, it was the season of dark pursuits through abandoned sewers. We had everything at the local mall before us, but there were too many zombies in the way. In short, the period was so far like the present period—except for, you know, all the frickin’ zombies.

Go and enter!

Here are the roolz:

1) Keep it to one paragraph. (250 words or less. Less is better.)
2) Make sure to give the title and author, so we can know whose work is being zombified. If these are not given, the zombified work will not be considered!
3) E-mail the entry to maureen@maureenjohnsonbooks.com. Please use the subject line: ZOMBIE INSIDE! You may enter as many times as you like. (So, if you want to zombify 30 stories, you can! But they must be different ones each time.) The deadline is February 14th. You can go right up to midnight (US, east coast time).
4) All of these wonderful entries will be read by Maureen and the other judges.

Round one: this week on insideadog . . . deadline, end of day, February 14th. The first five semi-finalists will go up to voting on the 15th. The prize for winning this round is the final copy of Maureen Johnson’s Suite Scarlett.

Round two: next week on Maureen Johnson’s blog . . . all entries submitted between February 16 and February 21st, with the next semi-final on February 22nd.

This all leads up to the crowning of the ULTIMATE ZOMBIE on Monday, February 25th.

5) You know who picks the winner? YOU DO! It’s ZOMBIE IDOL!

This just in: Justine adds a zombie to James Joyce’s Ulysses.

117 thoughts on “Zombie Zeitgeist Redux”

  1. yay! my first time posting first!

    hahaha, my class just finished reading a tale of two cities! Very clever zombie writings, scott! =]

    being sick at home makes for a day of internet exploring… heheheh

  2. 2nd post! Yays!
    Love the tale of two zombies!
    It’s true, zombies make everything nine kinds of fawesome!

  3. Haha. Your TTC one made me crack up, especially because we’re reading that in english right now. That’s simply amazing. I might have to try a few…

  8. Tara-la, Rosie-wa, it DOESN’T MATTER. If you don’t win, well then, you don’t win. But what have you got to lose??? Besides, its SOOO much fun.

    I’m not very good either. I entered. Twice. Just do your best, use spell check and ship it out!

  10. i know, this is the BEST CONTEST IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, is it not?

    now i have to go check out the updated rules and such…..
    i already wrote two entries. and will probably write more.

    man, i wish i still had Great Expectations. pity i lost it.

    “it was the best of apocalypses, it was the worst of apocalypses”
    *dies of laughter*

    also, in continued creepiness, i was once again CONVINCED there would be a new post when i got here. and there was. it’s really disturbing at this point.

    my tridecalogism of the day is “nonironically”
    even if it isn’t a word. because i say it is. so it is.
    plus, it sounds cool and i was bored in math class.
    i’m wearing my Bixby High School sweatshirt! and it’s warm!

  11. YOU HAVE A BIXBY HIGH SCHOOL SWEATER??? Lucky.

    I am always convinced there will be a new post. I am usually disappointed. Every author should post every day! And get their books out on time. Impossible, I know.

    Doesn’t Justine Larbalestier try to do that?

  19. Ooh… this remindes me of my favorite song (its not really my favorite, but i like it)

    KILL THE ZOMBIES BY SHOOTING THEM IN THE HEAD!
    THEY CAN’T EAT YOU IF YOU MAKE THEM DEAD!
    SHOOT THE ZOMBIES!
    SHOOT THE ZOMBIES!
    SHOOT THE ZOMBIES, HEY!

    THEY’LL LIMP AROUND IN BLOOD AND COVER THINGS IN STAINS
    THEY’LL MOAN AND GROAN AND TRY TO EAT YOUR FLESH AND BRAINS
    BUT IF YOU LEAD THEM DOWN AN ALLEY YOU CAN SNIPE THEM PRETTY BADLY
    ‘CAUSE THE BEST WAY TO KILL ZOMBIES IS BY SHOOTING THEM IN THE HEAD

    KILL THE ZOMBIES BY SHOOTING THEM IN THE HEAD!
    THEY CAN’T EAT YOU IF YOU MAKE THEM DEAD!
    SHOOT THE ZOMBIES!
    SHOOT THE ZOMBIES!
    SHOOT THE ZOMBIES, HEY!

  23. Hahahaha.

    This makes me giggle xD

    I may enter, can’t imagine a zombie scene in any of your books though 😛

    OMG. I READ EXTRAS. I admit, i had my doubts, thought it wouldn’t be as good at Uglies – Pretties – Specials, but it was, it REEEEALLY was.

    When Tally pinged Aya, i was like screaming and giggling. I was just so XD <– that was my face 😛

    So yeah. Fricking FAMAZING job Scott-la. You have exceeded my thoughts once more 😀

    Alisha-la xx

  25. Zombies be brilliant!! What a fantastic idea for contest. Now I am certain that there is a reason for even the dullest of dull *cough* String in the Harp *cough* books. And that is to experience re-birth (or re-death) through modern writing skillz and ancient corpses. Veddy veddy nice. 7 lightnings (ZAP!).

    *Aella

  28. i love that idea….. i might enter…. idk…. i have been like way too busy… heres what i have been doing for the past 4 days

    Sat. – went to barnes and noble to get the book Shark Girl, but they didn’t have it so we got 5 other books (2 house of night novels adnd all of The morganville vampires books) so then i ha to play in my basket ballgame (we lost) then i read

    Sun. – Stayed home and read (we got the book Shark Girl so i had to read it. it took me 1 hour and 30 mins)

    Mon. – went to school. stayed and helped with the 6th grade dance. went home ate. went to basket ball practice. came home and did my Homework untill 12:00 (right on the dot too)

    Tues. – went to school. went to the eye doctor. went home. watched charmed. played with my puppy. and then you come to now, i don’t want to do my home work so i got on here…

    ya i have been really busy…..
    wed. and thurs. the author of Shark Girl – Kelly Bingham is coming to my school. so ya. and on thurs. iget to go to a speacial respection for all writers to be and ya… its going to be fawesome!

    Sorry about the long post.

    Sophie-LA
    Word-La 😉

  32. I am soooooo entering!!!! Sooooo much fun!
    I had a sub for my Language Arts class and he was really really wierd. Like sweater vest and bowtie weird. He was-and I’m not joking- checking out all the guys in class. He was so hitting on this guy named Adolfo. Yeah, Adolfo was kinda freaked out. A lot.
    (YaY!!!Zombies!)

  33. GASP!!! SERAFINA ZANE!!!
    I did Twilight!!! The meadow scene.
    Luuuuuurve it.

    I know some people coughScott-Lacough don’t like it. But to that, I scoff. *scoffs*

  34. yeah, i’m doing Eclipse. but mine is more… critical.
    cuz, though i will not restate my opinions in keeping with my new policy of not picking fights with random people on the internet, i am not a huge Twilight fan.
    my zombies are more the Twilight voice of reason. i really like how it’s turned out, actually.

    now i just have to find the one scene in Eclipse to quote from. damn, this book is long.
    and also bloodstained. no, literally. long story.

  35. lol. awesome contest. Though I won’t enter.

    lol, I love your entry (though, I agree, you won’t win. Being a published writer, and the fact that you are married to a judge…lol) oh, well. It was fun to read 😛

  36. If you ever want to pick a fight. With a random person on the internet is probably better. Fight in real life and you end up with a black eye. I do anyway.

  37. true, very true.
    or maybe *they’d* end up with a black eye, and i’d get retaliaton or suspended.

    okay, i’ve entered four times. good night!

    also, if it wasn’t copyrighted and plagarism, i would love to start a book with that “tale of two zombies” thing.
    someone should.
    how about you, scott-la?
    it must exist! the army of zombies says so!

  38. If you want to rant about evil people that you know also do that on the internet…unless the evil person happens to get on the internet…AHHH NO WHERE IS SAFE!!!

  41. I was looking for some of E. Lockharts books at Barnes and noble but got a different one instead.

    I just popped my neck! Weird.

  43. Ew, your Eclipse is……bloodstained?

    I hate how some people dont take care of books. Like accidents, no problem but purposely. My friend has been reading my Eclipse book for 3 mothes now and its soooooo dirty!!! The pages are like brown now and the cover is all tearing on the edges. I yelled at her for doing that and she made up this excuse “the only way you can tell if you read a book by if it looks used.” I dont freakin need people to no i read a freakin book!!!!!!! I have a lot of book and there all perfect. Not a bent edge, scrap, scratch, cut, tear, or little crease in it. *Knock knock* I like my books to look brand new. When i go tot he book store i get the ones in the back because there the ones nobody has messed with. I. Am. Very. Very. Very. Picky.

  44. Ok, my comment is totally not related and i’m sure this has probably already been mentioned but i was doing my history homework and I found something…we had to read about political philosophers and Thomas Hobbes wrote a book called Leviathan, meaning sea monster and in Scott’s interview he said somehting about ships being monsters and then Hobbes also wrote that he thought all people should surrendor all their rights to leviathan which reminded of how Scott said “a very different 1914” so just curious if Hobbe’s book relates to Scott’s.

  45. oh geeeeeze! i hate it when people mess with my books. I also enjoy a wonderfully perfect looking book. Books are something you take care of, like a baby (kinda gay, i know) BUT…i love my books…and i like to keep them nice and clean.

    i have never heard of someone miss treating a book to make it look like they read it… silly silly silly

    peace ;]

  46. That sounds so cool! If I were a clever person, I would enter. But, alas, not only am I not clever, I am also a sloth. Ah, well.

    Yours was hilarious!! *COUGH*Itwasmyfavoriteofthethreeyouhadposted*COUGH*
    I love zombies. They add so much spice and sizzle and zest to life. And the classics.

  47. i dunno, i think that mistreating a book is bad, but i don’t freak out or mind if my books are a little worn.

    and yeah. it’s bloodstained. it was unintentional though, and i really couldn’t help it.

    interesting about levithan….i hadn’t heard of that, but it’s probably true. i had heard about levithans being sea monsters though.

    i’m obsessively editing Midnighters Wiki. i am a loser.
    come keep me company!
    http://www.chasingmidnightwerewolves.scribblewiki.com

  48. …sorry to double post, but I must also add that, Scott, you are one step ahead of everybody. You already WROTE a book about the Zombie Apocalypse! How do you get so derned clever?

  52. i like my books to look clean and new too. i was brining my books to my teacher to let her borrow them and my copy of Pretties got a scratch on it from my little clip on my assignment book. i was so sad. it’s like right on Shay’s face. 🙁

  54. I try SOOOO hard to keep all of my books PERFECT
    But somebody always borrows them (even after I tell them that NOBODY ON EARTH is aloud to even TOUCH my books)
    and no matter how hard I try I’m not aloud to buy another book even with my own money… 🙁
    Because ,qoute, “You have a perfectly fine book right there Netta!”
    Yeah, one that’s been torn to shreds
    yep that’s just great
    *sob*

  55. wait…thats shay on the cover of pretties? i always thought it was Tally…. i could be right, but i also could be wrong…

    BUT anyways, back on the subject of miss treating books, i let my friend borrow my copy of Extras and she used the cover slip as a bookmark…and it got all like…stretched out (if you would call it that…since paper really doesn’t stretch). i was rather bummed out…

    i never was the kind of person to post a lot on these…but it is rather entertaining =]

    hehehe

  56. Going back to what someone said a while ago about arguing on the internet…

    “Arguing on the internet is like the Special Olympics: even if you win, you’re still retarded”

    Don’t know who said that, but I find it insensitive yet hilarious. 😛

  57. Books are great when they still look perfect after being read a million times. But they’re still great with the front and back covers off and a million dog eared pages. A book is like a person. The outside doesn’t matter. Its what is INSIDE.

  59. was it just me, or did other people think of Scott’s April Fools Day prank last year when you read about the zombies? With the zombie on the Extras cover?

    Somebody above me probably mentioned it, I’m just too lazy to search.

  60. Yeah, I have to say that I try to keep my books nice, but it’s inevitable when all my demented friends steal my books to read for themselves. I don’t get too freaked unless it’s like totally destroyed and unreadable. A whole bottle of blue glitter glue just exploded all over me, while I was doing my History project.

  64. I’m sooooo entering this. It sounds amazing.
    Can’t decide which book to do, though.
    The of… Harry Potter 7, Eclipse, The Bar Code Tatoo, The Divide, or So Yesterday.
    I’m leaning towards So Yesterday and Eclipse.

  69. Wow, one week ago Serafina you were wishing for snow, now, your wanting it to be moved.

    URG! I hate when you have to bring a whole text book home just for one freakin question!!!!!!!

    Theres this really hot guy that i like……and i think hes been like flirting with me latly. Ok but his mom is a sub and he came up to me today and said (she had subbed our class ysterday) “My mom thinks your really cool. she likes you a lot.” and of course i smiled i mean like, parental approval, yea!! but then i had to think why she would tell him that? why did he tell me? has he talked about me? did he ask her? I was a tad, like, EXCITED!!!

  71. yeaaa, the only thing that bugs me about that cover is that Zane was always said to have dark ink black hair, and yet i see no inky looking hair there!
    im still thinking its tally…but i guess its up to your imagination

  72. no…thats Tally-wa all rite. who said it was Shay? oh well. alls i no is that that looks absolutely NOTHING like poor image-ruined Zane-la.

    i dont let people touch my books. hehe. all the guys are always trying to touch my books. when its mine, i wack em before they can get within two feet of it. and when i let them touch it and tell them its a library book, they sigh in defeat. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    -Lizzy-wa OUT! 😈

  73. My friend knows (guy friend) how much i hate ppl doing stuff to my book so today he took my book and started to rip it!!!!!! he started tears the cover and i yanked it from him and hit him constantly on the arm, stomach, and across the face.

  74. Ha, I’m obsessive about keeping my books perfect to. i literally start to panic and get all sad if my book gets torn or the cover is dented.

  75. That’s mean Bran-la! He actually RIPPED it?!?! My friends will steal it but they’ll never go that far.

  78. ok so back on the keeping books in perfect condition, i like to have good books they don’t have to be perfect but just good. So over the summer i let my bff Drew barow my copy of twlight and when i got it back it had no cover and half of the title page!!!!!!! i mean wtf?????????? treat my books with respect!!!!!!!11 urggg
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

    it made me so mad…….

    Sophie-LA
    Word-LA
    😉

  80. you guys do know you can enter more than once, right?

    and i still want snow! i just want it to snow enough that they cancel the whole day, not just do a delayed opening, cuz they’re almost worst than normal school.

    dude, no cover? ripping it? wow, none of my friends are that bad. thankfully.

    and i was the one who said it was Shay, cuz even if it’s not accurate, it totally is supposed to be. really. it’s Tally, Zane and Shay, and then Tally, and you know, Aya.
    and that stupid ink-black hair thing….that Zane is really annoying. nothing like the actual Zane.
    lame marketing…

  82. wow Bran-la…..that stinks! he’s ripping the cover! that is just mean. it’s like book torture! so is it the same guy who’s mom likes you?

    i have 2 guys in my math class that i kinda like and they both flirt with me. it’s kinda funny because we just got a new seating chart today and like i’m right inbetween them so the whole time there like kidna competing for my attention. the one is like really strong and hott and nice, and the other is like really sweet and personality-wise he’s a lot like me. i don’t know which i like more.

  83. Yeah, today was totally like teen soap opera at school today. It was all like *Gasp* you can’t like him, I do. But he likes her so OMG but they don’t know they like eachother, so will you tell her that he wants to ask you out? *Sigh* but he bought her flowers so that must mean something,right? Huh, No way. That would mean she’s cheating on….Like totally freaky drama. With everyone. Very very meaningless petty drama.

  85. Oh, and i LOVE to keep my books clean but yes, its whats on the inside of the book that matters most! 🙂

  87. i use to think that too. but then Scott-la explained that it was Shay…well at least i think he did. it was a long time ago.

  96. Omigod. This contest is the best thing I’ve seen in a long time. If it hadn’t just passed deadline, I would have totally submitted and entry. It probably would have been “7 Habits of Highly Effective Zombies.” Wow, that book would have been a bajillion times better with Zombies in it.

    Because I’d totally make the top 100.

  97. …Why is Eclipse literally bloodstained?

    Then again, I’m one to talk… my copy of a book about Anne Boleyn has a semitransparent, completely translucent page due to dropping it on my breakfast. It was an accident! Swear! But I was eating toast with a great deal of butter, so… Yeesh.

  101. lol i think i’m going to zombify “Little Women” (gag)
    how’s this sound:
    “Christmas won’t be Christmas without any zombies,” grumbled Jo, lying on the rug. 😛

  102. thats hilarious i just realized these posts are on a different time zone – i was like “wow, its lunchtime” lol its dark out here – like dinnertime 🙂

  103. OMIHECK Teel-La! I was SOOO almost going to do Little Women! That is too funny! But I didn’t. That book SCREAMS for a zombie! Gah. Would have been better with one. LOL!

    Audrey-Sensei, you can still enter.

  104. yeah i kno i could have kept going but im not nearly as talented as scott-la 🙁
    ugh this sucks i have a huge project due monday and my mom is making me finish it tonight aaarrrgghh!! i’ll never get it done 🙁 🙁 🙁
    so i g2g, people

  105. My school did Macbeth, the play, where all the characters were zombies. It was pretty weird…

    What if instead of being made “pretty”, you were made “zombie”…same mental capacity.

    Or would that just be strange and sacriligious?

  107. hey, sorry, ur getting sick of me, but how do you get onto westerboard, i mean, i forget my password and user name, does it mean my name, screen name, or this name-lanie-wa-la-sensi???????? and my password? i tottaly 4get that! its been like 2 yrs. since i made a thingy for this ah-mazing sight… if you know, plz tell me, i wanna c it!!
    :confused:
    💡
    😆
    :blush:
    :devil:
    idk what they are but oh well!!
    😀 😛 🙂 🙁 😀

  108. omg!! woopsy! i ment 4 that to go on s.facts!!! lol geeze i am stupid…oh well !!!

  109. Wow, your entry made me smile. Hilarious! (In a way it reminds me of your book, The Last Days…wonder why…hm.)

    It made me think about entering–but I’m assuming here that I’m too late to enter anyways–but I’m no writer. (At least, not any more…I used to write a TON, but nothing that ever really interested me and I’m also in the hating everything I’ve ever written stage.)

    Anyways, I try to keep commenting on your blog, you’re an amazing author and among one of my favorites. (Right up there is Anne Rice, Neal Shusterman, and Stephenie Meyer.)

  111. You make blogging look like a walk in the park! I’ve been trying to blog daily but I just cant find writing material.. you’re an inspiration to me and i’m sure many others!

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  117. If you want to rant about evil people that you know also do that on the internet…unless the evil person happens to get on the internet…AHHH NO WHERE IS SAFE!!!

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