Comments on: Nano Tip #3: Dialog Spine Analysis

By: carmen-la

carmen-la — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 07:15:44 +0000

Wow, that’s just so interesting. Thanks for the tips.

Anyhow, why don’t you come to malaysia? I’m sure many people will be very excited to see you~~!!

By: Ani-lalaland

Ani-lalaland — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:46:26 +0000

Oh, by the way, I’ve only just checked my email, so look forward to a bunch of comments all from me. And I’m so glad Leviathan’s out! w00t!

(I feel so stupid saying that!)

By: Ani-lalaland

Ani-lalaland — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:44:41 +0000

Just to collaborate on that, Miss Snark always went for gin. And George Clooney, but that’s got nothing to do with anything.

That was really interesting, Scott!

By: Alex

Alex — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:57:09 +0000

See, the only thing I was unsure about was the one thing you didn’t reveal – the genders! I actually started off thinking they were both male, but as the story progressed the living person started to appear more female. (As others had said, the phrases and the cold salmon – and the gin, actually, I’ve encountered more depressed women in literature drinking gin. Men seem to go for whiskey or beer or whatever depending on their class/personality.) If the alive one is male I’d peg him as upper class/upper middle class – again, the dialogue, food choices etc. are not something I’d usually associate with a working class man. The woman could be well-off or not, but if she’s not so well-off I think she might be quite a bit older – at least in her forties.

And I will now cease the rant. It should really have gone in the previous post anyway.

By: Gabrielle

Gabrielle — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:31:31 +0000

Hm. That’s interesting, I actually thought the living person was a young woman and the ghost was a guy around her age too. But of course, now that you pointed out some details, the living person does definitely seem older.

That is really interesting!

By: Sylvia

Sylvia — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:56:48 +0000

OK, this might be my presumptions coming into play here but:

I think cold salmon is as clear a marker of gender as it is of age. I’m not saying men won’t eat it but sitting in a restaurant alone, it’s not a part of the picture I’d paint. So I feel fairly adamant that the older, live person is a woman.

â€œBut itâ€™s not as though . . . youâ€™re eighteen, after all.â€//Ah. Youâ€™ve been practicing that line, havenâ€™t you?//â€œDonâ€™t be crass.â€

I feel like “Don’t be crass” also marks her as a woman but more importantly, I think this exchange marks the relationship as heterosexual.

The practicing line could mean in terms of defending herself (Hey, you were 18, you chose to have an affair with me) but then the rejoinder of don’t be crass doesn’t make much sense.

To be crass about the person you are sleeping with by mentioning they are 18 – that would be to brag about it, I think. An older woman might brag about her 18-year-old boyfriend (cougar!) but it’s not something I’d expect to see (presuming current day setting) in a lesbian relationship. So I think the dead person is male.

Love how much detail there is in such a bare bones outline. I will definitely try this.

By: Kelsey-wa

Kelsey-wa — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 01:09:44 +0000

Totally fawesome story! The first time I read that, I was thinking “Wait, is this person dead?” And then the second time, I picked up on all of the genius innuendos like the “Served cold” thing, and the third time, (I know, I have nothing better to do than read short stories over and over again all day) I got the whole affair side of it. The gender issue is confusing, though. I think it’s a creepy old man and a teenage girl. Reminds me of my science teacher: balding and the type of person who would eat cold fish. Anyways, I LOVE the whole NaNo tip idea!! I’m actually working on a short-story novelish type thing now and what a coincidence that it’s NaNoWriMo. I’m going to use the first chapter as a short story for English class, and hopefully my teacher will assign more short stories so I can do it in installments. Please continue with this story; I like where it’s going, and no cheating out of writing another tip on the next odd-numbered day!

By: Rianaire

Rianaire — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:09:19 +0000

I wish I didn’t spend so long typing my comments! It can be frustrating sometimes being just one or two seconds too late. :C

Oh, and I just realized, the live one was eating cold salmon–a dish ‘Served Cold’. Haha!

By: Summer

Summer — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:05:41 +0000

I’m glad to know that what I was thinking was right!

By: Sarah Ayelet

Sarah Ayelet — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 03:51:03 +0000

Very nice

I can’t believe that the “don’t let me go down there alone” thing wasn’t intentional!!! I think that was the first thing that gave me the chills, and when I read it the first time that was when I was sure the dead one wanted the living one dead!
In fact, besides for the creepy way the drive safely part sounded in my head, that was one of the only reasons I was so convinced!

Lol, you’re getting so used to writing with such genius innuendos, you aren’t even noticing it.