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Author Topic: Stream Of Consciousness  (Read 742 times)

Mara-la

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Stream Of Consciousness
« on: January 03, 2019, 03:04:57 PM »

So I was sitting in the dark outside in the car with my dad just now and for almost the past hour he just let my subconscious go off and it was this entire conversation about materialism and and the source of unhappiness and why churches make me uncomfortable and psychology and science and work life balance and all kinds of wild stuff

This kind of just sparked the idea to make this thread and I don't want it to get hostile, it may get controversial, maybe this is a dumb topic to start, I don't know. But have at it. Just let go, let your subconscious free (if you can) and just go
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Mara-la

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Re: Stream Of Consciousness
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2019, 03:30:48 PM »

^ can't tell if bot or if stream
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Catvomitsky

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Re: Stream Of Consciousness
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2019, 09:03:08 PM »

Itís the middle of the night and Iíve never actually been seriously homesick, other than missing some comforts in passing. But wow, I am so over dorm life. I miss having my own space, and a decent bathroom, and being able to watch TV or make some food when I had insomnia, and homemade meals, and not having my roommateís boyfriend on the floor when I canít sleep and donít feel well, and all the DVDs at my house, and my parents. It was fun for the first semester but I lowkey donít wanna do this anymore, I just want it to be next year when at least I have my own room. The thing is I had issues with being home as well, so idek where I belong anymore. I should just watch parks and rec becuase hats the one thing I consistently enjoy rn. What a gift of a show. Maybe Iíll call an Uber (not really but I wish) and cart myself to the movie theater and watch Into the Spider Verse for the third time because that movie also makes me happy. It has a social message but in a quiet, understated way that feels organic, like itís showing not telling. And it calls on nostalgia without seeming like itís pandering. What a joyful vision of a movie. Blah I just want the semester to start so I can have classes and work and activities to focus on
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Mara-la

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Re: Stream Of Consciousness
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2019, 05:22:35 AM »

Untitled (Jan 7/19)

Today is garbage
I'm upset
Guys, I just posted this thing on Insta! it's not much but it's really a collage that took me hours, but I'm making it look effortless because if there was effort in it, I'd be trying too hard
Never going to be successful
Can't even make a stupid post without overthinking
Don't say it, it's too weird
Sometimes I wish I was a plant
Humans are too smart for their own good
(insert thoughtful caption that's actually socially acceptable, so realistically, not that thoughtful)
Is there life after death?
Can't say that, too emo
Caption: missing the sunshine! Brr, winter's cold
So this is it, then? The entire human experience is fake?
What a beautiful world <3
« Last Edit: January 08, 2019, 05:34:32 AM by Mara-la »
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Mara-la

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Re: Stream Of Consciousness
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2019, 04:13:40 PM »

To think of breaking this chain... is the future mine?

Oh look another one turned model. I am toad
« Last Edit: January 08, 2019, 04:22:11 PM by Mara-la »
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Catvomitsky

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Re: Stream Of Consciousness
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2019, 04:48:43 PM »

Not sure if this belongs in the Rants topic, but these are just some midnight thoughts that kinda took form

Earlier I was reading through a tumblr blog I saw in a meme that was in that Ďnot actually communist but a little too close for comfortí territory. Parts of it made me roll my eyes - she was clearly informed on social and economic issues, and world history, so why did she not seem to critically analyze the social, economic, and historical problems with communism and Russia? And then I got to thinking how thatís a really common thing. People will often be informed about topics theyíre passionate about, but rarely apply the same level of informed, critical thinking to their own side of the issue that they do to other perspectives. And as someone who actively tries really, really hard not to do that, it annoys me. A lot of time and heartache could be saved if people would not be so...inconveniently, tragically human. I was staring off into space getting kinda cynical about it, and then I came back later after cleansing my palette with some wholesome, encouraging posts about how to do well in math. And I realized: we all make our own choices, and itís so important not to downplay accountability. But the agent - the person - making those choices, and the circumstances surrounding the choices, are inextricably formed by factors outside of any one personís control. Culture, language, life experience, our families, the laws of physics, the basic human psychological tendencies that can be subverted but canít ever be erased. People arenít perfect. Getting bitter over that fact doesnít make you a better person, and it doesnít make imperfect people better. Sometimes people are selfish and ignorant and annoying and unideal - maybe even most people, at least some of the time. But at least some of the time, probably more often than not, most people are also trying their best and will be kind and willing to try if youíre doing the same in return. I dunno where I was going with that, but Iím feeling generally peaceful and positive. Things arenít so bad after all
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Mara-la

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Re: Stream Of Consciousness
« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2019, 06:26:30 PM »

Electric horseshoe
All out of luck
My name is
My name
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Mara-la

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Re: Stream Of Consciousness
« Reply #7 on: January 11, 2019, 01:56:00 PM »

I think this post may not make sense to most of you but I literally cannot fix this into a coherent post so here we go, enter my scatterbrain:

Am I my mother's daughter? // Please someone prove me wrong

  • I wish I could post sideways.
  • I think I like the idea of masks more than actual masks because of what they mean to me, personally
  • Part 2 to previous thought: I think I am a mask?

Who am I?

I'm not myself // Feels like I'm someone else

Jenga. Life is jenga. You can only go so far before everything just falls apart.

(No I'm not depressed. Just thinking, even if this looks very depressing.)

It's all gone so far beyond what it was ever meant to, twisted and contorted into something it was never meant to be. What started out as something pure and good has turned into something toxic, and I don't know that it can ever be undone. Even if it could, the damage has already penetrated every ounce of the original form, and so what is there left? A hollow shell, riddled with confusion. Only echoes remain of the vibrant chanting on a warm summer's day.
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in Scarborough Fair Magazine
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Catvomitsky

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Re: Stream Of Consciousness
« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2019, 06:53:49 PM »

Hell is not hot
Hell is so cold you forget the sun's warmth
The endless night filled with stars
Laughing at your shivering body as they blaze a universe away

Ahead you stare, frozen in place
Eyes marbled with frost
Tears turned to ice before they spill
Suffering alone
Without even your misery for company

-thoughts from a very cold front desk at 3 am
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Julia The Bookworm

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Re: Stream Of Consciousness
« Reply #9 on: January 18, 2019, 04:23:21 AM »

 now and then lately I've been thinking a lot about how a lot of people who at first wanted to go into some sort of Arts related field and pick up going into a STEM related field, and a lot of people interested in stem originally end up going into art on occasion and end up being really successful and it's just really interesting seeing how so many people do a complete turnaround with the fields that they go into
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Mara-la

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Re: Stream Of Consciousness
« Reply #10 on: February 04, 2019, 01:49:43 AM »

IDEA - cellular network

Medication
Medication
Medication

And in my mind Iím a disappointment to you
But from your eyes, itís all just fine

Immortality is more than everlasting life;
Immortality is the legacy that you leave behind

Medication
Medication
Medication
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Mara-la

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Re: Stream Of Consciousness
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2019, 09:59:13 PM »

Whisper in the scream
Someday Iíll make it out of here
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Author of "We All Come Home"
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