Scott Westerfeld Forum

Author Topic: CONFESSIONS.  (Read 538796 times)

Emma-la

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23730 on: January 27, 2019, 02:37:12 PM »

I want to express the reality of what anxiety on an everyday basis is because I feel like the media portrays it as all big anxiety attacks that are obvious and extreme when that is not the case. I need to get it out of my system because anxiety is an everyday struggle that manages to keep creeping up on me. I havenít been eating or sleeping properly because Iíve been so busy and Iím so afraid of getting behind in school or work or letting someone down. Iíve lost so much weight and Iíve developed a chronic headache. The few times Iíve been able to get to bed early my anxiety manages to kick in and make me have a hard time breathing because my heart is beating too fast, and thereís no trigger for it. I had a panic attack at cheer practice last week and Iím so afraid of it happening again that Iíve been missing the last couple practices. Iíve zoned out of conversations because I can feel my heart beating too fast and too hard and I know if I talk Iíll cry or I just wonít be me. Iím honestly so scared of what any of this means because my logical mind knows it isnít healthy but I donít know how to fix it
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ďThe only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.Ē
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Panzercrappitastica

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23731 on: January 28, 2019, 06:59:53 AM »

Big same Emma :-\ Do you go to therapy? Finding a good therapist was a huge help with my anxiety. Also meds
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Emma-la

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23732 on: January 28, 2019, 10:03:39 AM »

Big same Emma :-\ Do you go to therapy? Finding a good therapist was a huge help with my anxiety. Also meds

I do go to therapy, though not often enough due to the shit mental health services at school (theyíre always so booked up I donít get in for like a month). Iím considering going on meds because now Iím scared I have eating anxiety and I do NOT wanna develop an eating disorder
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ďThe only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.Ē
*~*RESIDENT FORUM ROLEPLAYING ADDICT*~*

Mara-la

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23733 on: January 28, 2019, 12:03:48 PM »

Meds can be very helpful but they do take about a month or so to start working so if youíre wanting to start, Iíd suggest sooner than later. Iím obviously not a doctor but thatís just my personal take
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Member since April 24th 2010.
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Author of "We All Come Home"
Short story; pub. March 2018
in Scarborough Fair Magazine
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Emma-la

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23734 on: January 28, 2019, 01:25:51 PM »

I'm going to see a doctor this week about my chronic headaches and weight loss issues, so I think I'll ask their opinion on meds as well while I'm there. I've done the meds thing before and it's not my favourite option but it might be necessary
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ďThe only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.Ē
*~*RESIDENT FORUM ROLEPLAYING ADDICT*~*

Reenie-La

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23735 on: January 30, 2019, 04:54:46 AM »

Wrote this for my Writing Workshop class yesterday. Don't be alarmed anyone.

Quote
How to Navigate Desperate Depression

Borrowed time, borrowed time.

No one is going to save you

            from this life that offers no rest, no peace.

Rest. Peace. Musings that mock you. Echo

Echoing such space   

           where there is none to breath

Don't cry for the screams you missed the opportunity to shriek

Do not lie down and pray for Death; he isn't coming

                                            he doesn't want you

Does not want you like so many peers, authorities, and the parents who were supposed to take care of you

Don't let the unshrieks wreak despair in the walls of your skin




« Last Edit: January 30, 2019, 04:57:27 AM by Reenie-La »
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Catvomitsky

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23736 on: January 30, 2019, 07:20:27 PM »

Confession: I forgot how much I missed late night conversations that got into the deep stuff. The kind of soul searching conversations that went from personal heartbreaks to the meaning of life and beyond. My social interactions have obviously changed a lot since college, and I welcome the new experiences and all the amazing new people, but I realized I can't let that and my busy schedule crowd out those conversations and connections.
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Julia The Bookworm

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23737 on: January 31, 2019, 03:21:32 AM »

I'm glad somebody on the planet has realized that.
My friends are horrible to make plans with, they don't follow through most of the time and they don't recognize that my schedule is completely different than theirs and that I need to put a lot of time and consideration when going out of the house
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Catvomitsky

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23738 on: January 31, 2019, 07:52:09 AM »

Yeah same, I have one friend that's really flaky and it annoys me because I have to actually schedule it around work and classes and other plans but he freelances and is in a bunch of easy classes so he doesn't get that. Tis a struggle
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Julia The Bookworm

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23739 on: January 31, 2019, 02:14:29 PM »

My biggest problem is that I have to plan things in advance in order to make sure I have transportation and depending on what type of Transportation I'm using that affects my budget for going out on specific trips.
« Last Edit: February 01, 2019, 03:27:02 AM by Julia The Bookworm »
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Mara-la

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23740 on: February 01, 2019, 12:04:09 AM »

Thatís hard :/ I kinda get it too. I never go out with friends (I saw them before I came to India, two of them anyway, and that was the first time in 5 months) because theyíre either non-committal, busy, or plain far away. The far away is unavoidable but the non-committal thing gets to me like crazy.
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Member since April 24th 2010.
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Author of "We All Come Home"
Short story; pub. March 2018
in Scarborough Fair Magazine
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www.youtube.com/maragrace

Julia The Bookworm

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23741 on: February 01, 2019, 03:28:02 AM »

The no follow-through makes me really angry. And not committing to anything. I was an hour late to a work training because my co-workers alarm didn't go off.
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Mara-la

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23742 on: February 02, 2019, 03:30:16 AM »

Confession: I feel so incredibly and utterly alone on this trip. Iím surrounded by people all day, but Iím the youngest by far. These people all have a rapport with one another, or years of experience to draw on, or have work similarities. I have none of it. And itís hard. Itís hard because this is a trip of a lifetime, weíre doing so much cool stuff, and Iím being present and I appreciate it all so much, but at the same time, I just want to go home. Nobody gets my references. Nobody gets my jokes. I feel like Iím that annoying little sibling that people donít really want around, and it sucks. To top it off, Iím an introvert and theyíre all major extroverts so I have to be ďonĒ all the time, which is absolutely exhausting. I feel like Iím so ungrateful for complaining about being on a trip, and that I should be bowing down because I have such privilege. But Iím having a really hard time.
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Member since April 24th 2010.
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Author of "We All Come Home"
Short story; pub. March 2018
in Scarborough Fair Magazine
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www.youtube.com/maragrace

Julia The Bookworm

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23743 on: February 03, 2019, 11:14:01 AM »

I think I'm starting to have multiple friendships forming that are.....slightly flirty?
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|ĸιrα|

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Re: CONFESSIONS.
« Reply #23744 on: February 13, 2019, 06:39:28 AM »

apparently the baby didn't develop properly so my sister's pregnancy is not viable. and my best friend just found out the sex of her sister's baby today. i'm heartbroken and happy and it's a weird emotion n i'm jsut trying not to cry in the middle of class
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