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Author Topic: Jokes?  (Read 29105 times)

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #285 on: July 11, 2015, 09:22:07 PM »

What do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs?

Still No idea!
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #286 on: July 11, 2015, 09:23:19 PM »

What do you call a dear with no eyes no legs and is on fire?

Still no flaming idea!
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Panzercrappitastica

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #287 on: July 12, 2015, 12:42:38 AM »

Pfff XD
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Purple-handed peep Volger with a flash tattoo hoverboarding around the Lynx in the blue hour with adreneline coursing through his penguins while failing to own the sunset! In a hoop skirt.

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"Early to bed, early to rise, early to plan the world's demise"
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Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #288 on: July 12, 2015, 09:49:48 PM »

Why don't Koalas carry their babies on their backs?

Because they can't push a pram up a tree!
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #289 on: July 20, 2015, 09:26:55 AM »

Three people are stuck on an deserted Island.
two men and one woman.
They find a lamp and rub it for no apparent reason.
Out pops a genie and gives them each one wish.
The first man says: I wish to have the strength of 100 men to swim to the mainland.
(Unfortunately he swam and swam directly out to sea but did not make it to the mainland)

The second man says: I wish to have the brains of 100 men to build a boat to sail to the mainland.
(Unfortunately he builds his boat and sails directly out to sea but runs into a fierce storm that rips his boat to shreds)

The woman asks the Genie: I wish to have the brains of two women

After this the woman decides that she explores the Island
She walks to the other side of the Island and finds a bridge to to the mainland.
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Catvomitsky

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #290 on: July 21, 2015, 01:51:13 PM »

In that same vein:

A family went to a hospital, where one of their relatives would be having a brain transplant. One of the relatives asked, "What will the cost of a new brain be?" The doctor replied, "A female brain costs $25,000 and a male brain costs $50,000." The men smirked, but one of the females asked, "Why is that, doctor?" "Well," the doctor replied, the female brain is less because it has been used."
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Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #291 on: July 21, 2015, 03:25:09 PM »

Punctuation...
The teacher writes on the board one sentence and she asks all the students to join teams of each gender and to write in the correct punctuation.

The sentence is:
"a woman without her man is nothing"

After a while, the males reveal their answer...
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

So then the girls reveal their answer...
"A woman; without her, man is nothing."
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Panzercrappitastica

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #292 on: August 03, 2015, 09:49:10 AM »

Nice XD
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Purple-handed peep Volger with a flash tattoo hoverboarding around the Lynx in the blue hour with adreneline coursing through his penguins while failing to own the sunset! In a hoop skirt.

Pan the Imperial Bucket Holder

"Early to bed, early to rise, early to plan the world's demise"
- Catvomitsky

GreyCaboose

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #293 on: August 11, 2015, 12:09:00 AM »

Haha! Nice!

Three hunters are walking to hunt and come across some tracks.

"Well!" Say the first hunter, "These are deer tracks!"

"You're wrong!" Says the next. "They're moose tracks!"

"Actually, it's elk." Says the third, feeling the tracks with his finger. "Similar, but not the same."

And that was when the train hit them.
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Panzercrappitastica

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #294 on: August 11, 2015, 12:35:02 AM »

Pfffft XD
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Purple-handed peep Volger with a flash tattoo hoverboarding around the Lynx in the blue hour with adreneline coursing through his penguins while failing to own the sunset! In a hoop skirt.

Pan the Imperial Bucket Holder

"Early to bed, early to rise, early to plan the world's demise"
- Catvomitsky

GeeBeezy

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #295 on: August 11, 2015, 02:53:48 PM »

What's green and eats nuts?
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抹茶のマーブルレアチーズケーキ

Matcha marble cheesecake

ジャガイモはセクシーで

and suddenly I wasnt a fish anymore I was omnipresent

And chacha real smooth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35fBK7kCTgU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzClLu8DXlM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzcQxRr1cSw

Panzercrappitastica

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #296 on: August 11, 2015, 03:06:08 PM »

I am slightly afraid to ask, but what?
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Purple-handed peep Volger with a flash tattoo hoverboarding around the Lynx in the blue hour with adreneline coursing through his penguins while failing to own the sunset! In a hoop skirt.

Pan the Imperial Bucket Holder

"Early to bed, early to rise, early to plan the world's demise"
- Catvomitsky

GeeBeezy

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #297 on: August 11, 2015, 03:24:25 PM »

Syphilis.
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抹茶のマーブルレアチーズケーキ

Matcha marble cheesecake

ジャガイモはセクシーで

and suddenly I wasnt a fish anymore I was omnipresent

And chacha real smooth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35fBK7kCTgU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzClLu8DXlM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzcQxRr1cSw

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #298 on: August 11, 2015, 05:46:58 PM »

(  ゚,_ゝ゚)
...

I want you to picture this sentence and to realize the the whole sentence as a whole and to picture the the whole sentence as nothing but the the sentence. If you re-read the the sentence you will find that the the sentence itself will contort your mind and make you realize that the the word 'the' has been repeated twice every time.
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Catvomitsky

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #299 on: August 12, 2015, 01:10:04 AM »

...that was not okay :o
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