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Author Topic: Jokes?  (Read 32858 times)

GeeBeezy

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #60 on: March 03, 2015, 03:43:13 PM »

I actually got a birthday shirt a while back with a t rex saxing 'if you're happy and you know it clap your- oh, wait' on it
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抹茶のマーブルレアチーズケーキ

Matcha marble cheesecake

ジャガイモはセクシーで

and suddenly I wasnt a fish anymore I was omnipresent

And chacha real smooth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35fBK7kCTgU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzClLu8DXlM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzcQxRr1cSw

|ĸιrα|

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #61 on: March 03, 2015, 03:44:23 PM »

THAT WAS THE PICTURE
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kristina-la

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #62 on: March 03, 2015, 03:47:41 PM »

what do and elephant and a strawberry have in common?

THEY"RE BOTH RED....except the elephant
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BlueberryDoughnut

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #63 on: March 03, 2015, 03:48:40 PM »

What's green and has wheels?
Grass; I lied about the wheels.
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t-tell youw boyfwend if he says he's got beef
that i'm a vegetawian and i ain't f*cking scawed of him
she wants to touch me uwu
she wants to love me uwu
she'll neve leave me uwu, uwu, owo

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #64 on: March 03, 2015, 03:49:08 PM »

A blonde, brunette, and red head are talking
The red head wants to be the first woman to walk on the moon.
The Brunette wants to be the first woman to walk on Jupiter.
The Blond want to be the first woman to walk on the sun.

The Brunette and Red head says that is impossible you would be blinded and burnt to a crisp
if you even go near the sun.

The blond thinks about this and says:
"I will go at night then..."
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|ĸιrα|

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #65 on: March 03, 2015, 03:52:59 PM »

Omg blonde jokes.

A blonde walks into a shoe store and asks the manager for alligator skin boots. He takes her to them and she's shocked at the prices.
"That's ridiculous, I'll just go get my own!" She then stormed out of the store. The manager didn't think much of it but on his way home from work he heard gunshots. He pulled over to the side of the road and got out, surprised to see a pile of dead alligators and the blonde from before pulling another one over. He was really impressed until she turned it over and said "Nope, no boots on this one either!"
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Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #66 on: March 03, 2015, 04:01:04 PM »

Why did little sussie dop her ice cream?

She was hit by a bus

Why wasn't little Johnny holding his ice cream.
he was driving...
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Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #67 on: March 03, 2015, 05:45:58 PM »

A man goes in for an interview on a 23 story building
and he get very angry at the manager for rejecting the application
the manager is also furious he asks his secretary to throw him out

23 stories later the manager said: "I meant through the door"
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

GeeBeezy

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #68 on: March 03, 2015, 05:46:08 PM »

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were all standing at the top of a waterfall. A genie appeared and told them to leap off the waterfall and shout a wish on the way down.
The brunette jumped; 'MONEEEEEEEY!' And she landed in a big pile of money.
The redhead jumped; 'FOOOOOOOD!' And she landed in a big pile of food.
The blonde jumped 'WEEEEEEEEEE!'
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抹茶のマーブルレアチーズケーキ

Matcha marble cheesecake

ジャガイモはセクシーで

and suddenly I wasnt a fish anymore I was omnipresent

And chacha real smooth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35fBK7kCTgU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzClLu8DXlM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzcQxRr1cSw

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #69 on: March 03, 2015, 05:52:34 PM »

A blonde, brunette and red head are stuck on an island 100 kilometers from the main land.

The Brunette tries to swim, but drowns at 25 kilometers.

The Red head tries to swim, but drowns at 75 kilometers

The Blond tries to swim, but gets to 50 kilometers,
gets tired and swims back.
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #70 on: March 03, 2015, 05:56:00 PM »

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
 ;D this cracked me up when I saw it
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #71 on: March 03, 2015, 09:44:43 PM »

Three blondes walks into a building
You would have though at least one would have seen it
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Panzercrappitastica

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #72 on: March 04, 2015, 11:32:39 AM »

Why is the dictionary called Larousse?
Because if it was called Lablonde, it would be empty.

I heard that one in French club. Apparently there's blonde jokes in France, too XD
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GeeBeezy

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #73 on: March 04, 2015, 11:35:22 AM »

That's awesome.

'Did you hear? Reese was murdered in the kitchen!'
'With her knife?'
'No, Witherspoon'
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抹茶のマーブルレアチーズケーキ

Matcha marble cheesecake

ジャガイモはセクシーで

and suddenly I wasnt a fish anymore I was omnipresent

And chacha real smooth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35fBK7kCTgU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzClLu8DXlM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzcQxRr1cSw

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #74 on: March 04, 2015, 04:28:42 PM »

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiots house!
hahahahahahahaha cracks me up every time

Ohh another one wait...

Knock Knock.
'Who's there'
The chicken...
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens
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