Scott Westerfeld Forum

Pages: 1 ... 14 15 [16] 17 18 ... 32

Author Topic: Jokes?  (Read 31986 times)

Chairlegs

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 796
  • Pet Peeves? Why would you keep a Peeve as a pet?
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #225 on: April 01, 2015, 11:45:36 AM »
Michael Johnson, the Olympic Gold Medal runner, was on his way to a club with some friends. At the door the bouncer turned to him and said, “Sorry mate, you can’t come in here; no denim allowed.” Michael was quite annoyed by this and retorted, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Michael Johnson.” To which the bouncer replied, “Then it won’t take you long to run home and change.”
Logged
Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Chairlegs

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 796
  • Pet Peeves? Why would you keep a Peeve as a pet?
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #226 on: April 01, 2015, 12:03:42 PM »
Logged
Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Chairlegs

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 796
  • Pet Peeves? Why would you keep a Peeve as a pet?
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #227 on: April 08, 2015, 02:53:20 PM »
Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.
Logged
Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Chairlegs

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 796
  • Pet Peeves? Why would you keep a Peeve as a pet?
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #228 on: April 08, 2015, 02:54:30 PM »
Q: What’s the tallest building in the world?
A: The library, because it has the most stories.
Logged
Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Chairlegs

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 796
  • Pet Peeves? Why would you keep a Peeve as a pet?
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #229 on: April 08, 2015, 02:59:08 PM »
A man was driving in his car got a call from his wife on his cell phone. She was really frantic and yelled, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way on the highway! Be careful!”
He replied, “Honey, there isn’t just one, there are hundreds of them!”
Logged
Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Chairlegs

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 796
  • Pet Peeves? Why would you keep a Peeve as a pet?
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #230 on: April 08, 2015, 03:07:17 PM »
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta!
Logged
Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Panzercrappitastica

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 43430
  • Westerforum Resident Exalt
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #231 on: April 08, 2015, 03:16:32 PM »
Quote from: Letthemfight! on April 08, 2015, 02:59:08 PM
A man was driving in his car got a call from his wife on his cell phone. She was really frantic and yelled, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way on the highway! Be careful!”
He replied, “Honey, there isn’t just one, there are hundreds of them!”
...it took me a second XD
Logged
Purple-handed peep Volger with a flash tattoo hoverboarding around the Lynx in the blue hour with adreneline coursing through his penguins while failing to own the sunset! In a hoop skirt.

Pan the Imperial Bucket Holder

"Early to bed, early to rise, early to plan the world's demise"
- Catvomitsky

Chairlegs

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 796
  • Pet Peeves? Why would you keep a Peeve as a pet?
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #232 on: April 08, 2015, 10:58:45 PM »
*Very slow clapping*

Every animal has something unique about their species:

Llamas are part camel, part sheep
Puffer fish blow up and have poisonous spikes
Sloths are very slow
Dolphins lick Puffer fish to get high
Snakes have excellent hearing without ears
Emus are huge flightless birds

As you can see every animal is special
Logged
Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

GreyCaboose

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9080
  • neeheehee
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #233 on: April 09, 2015, 03:23:24 AM »
Quote from: Panzercrappitastica on April 08, 2015, 03:16:32 PM
Quote from: Letthemfight! on April 08, 2015, 02:59:08 PM
A man was driving in his car got a call from his wife on his cell phone. She was really frantic and yelled, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way on the highway! Be careful!”
He replied, “Honey, there isn’t just one, there are hundreds of them!”
...it took me a second XD

I don't get it.
Logged

Chairlegs

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 796
  • Pet Peeves? Why would you keep a Peeve as a pet?
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #234 on: April 09, 2015, 07:29:34 AM »
Quote from: Letthemfight! on April 08, 2015, 02:59:08 PM
He replied, “Honey, there isn’t just one, there are hundreds of them!”
Guess who the one car going the wrong way was...
Logged
Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

GreyCaboose

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9080
  • neeheehee
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #235 on: April 09, 2015, 10:57:48 AM »
OOOOOOOOOOH
Logged

Chairlegs

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 796
  • Pet Peeves? Why would you keep a Peeve as a pet?
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #236 on: May 06, 2015, 10:19:58 PM »
Why are little white blobs of fat the best models?

They are always adi-posing
Laugh if you get this...
Logged
Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

GeeBeezy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 22468
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #237 on: May 06, 2015, 10:25:33 PM »
Logged
抹茶のマーブルレアチーズケーキ

Matcha marble cheesecake

ジャガイモはセクシーで

and suddenly I wasnt a fish anymore I was omnipresent

And chacha real smooth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35fBK7kCTgU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzClLu8DXlM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzcQxRr1cSw

Chairlegs

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 796
  • Pet Peeves? Why would you keep a Peeve as a pet?
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #238 on: May 06, 2015, 10:29:19 PM »
Logged
Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

monkeys_r_us

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1815
  • The Westerforum's Resident Ghost
Re: Jokes?
« Reply #239 on: May 08, 2015, 07:30:42 AM »
Two guys walk into a bar. A third guy ducks.
Logged
Boo! I am the forum ghost!
Pages: 1 ... 14 15 [16] 17 18 ... 32
« previous next »