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Author Topic: Jokes?  (Read 30002 times)

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #225 on: April 01, 2015, 11:45:36 AM »

Michael Johnson, the Olympic Gold Medal runner, was on his way to a club with some friends. At the door the bouncer turned to him and said, “Sorry mate, you can’t come in here; no denim allowed.” Michael was quite annoyed by this and retorted, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Michael Johnson.” To which the bouncer replied, “Then it won’t take you long to run home and change.”
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Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #226 on: April 01, 2015, 12:03:42 PM »

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Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #227 on: April 08, 2015, 02:53:20 PM »

Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #228 on: April 08, 2015, 02:54:30 PM »

Q: What’s the tallest building in the world?
A: The library, because it has the most stories.
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #229 on: April 08, 2015, 02:59:08 PM »

A man was driving in his car got a call from his wife on his cell phone. She was really frantic and yelled, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way on the highway! Be careful!”
He replied, “Honey, there isn’t just one, there are hundreds of them!”
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #230 on: April 08, 2015, 03:07:17 PM »

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta!
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
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Panzercrappitastica

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #231 on: April 08, 2015, 03:16:32 PM »

A man was driving in his car got a call from his wife on his cell phone. She was really frantic and yelled, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way on the highway! Be careful!”
He replied, “Honey, there isn’t just one, there are hundreds of them!”
...it took me a second XD
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Purple-handed peep Volger with a flash tattoo hoverboarding around the Lynx in the blue hour with adreneline coursing through his penguins while failing to own the sunset! In a hoop skirt.

Pan the Imperial Bucket Holder

"Early to bed, early to rise, early to plan the world's demise"
- Catvomitsky

Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #232 on: April 08, 2015, 10:58:45 PM »

*Very slow clapping*

Every animal has something unique about their species:

Llamas are part camel, part sheep
Puffer fish blow up and have poisonous spikes
Sloths are very slow
Dolphins lick Puffer fish to get high
Snakes have excellent hearing without ears
Emus are huge flightless birds

As you can see every animal is special
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

GreyCaboose

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #233 on: April 09, 2015, 03:23:24 AM »

A man was driving in his car got a call from his wife on his cell phone. She was really frantic and yelled, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way on the highway! Be careful!”
He replied, “Honey, there isn’t just one, there are hundreds of them!”
...it took me a second XD

I don't get it.
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Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #234 on: April 09, 2015, 07:29:34 AM »

He replied, “Honey, there isn’t just one, there are hundreds of them!”
Guess who the one car going the wrong way was...
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

GreyCaboose

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #235 on: April 09, 2015, 10:57:48 AM »

OOOOOOOOOOH
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Chairlegs

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #236 on: May 06, 2015, 10:19:58 PM »

Why are little white blobs of fat the best models?

They are always adi-posing
Laugh if you get this...
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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

GeeBeezy

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抹茶のマーブルレアチーズケーキ

Matcha marble cheesecake

ジャガイモはセクシーで

and suddenly I wasnt a fish anymore I was omnipresent

And chacha real smooth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35fBK7kCTgU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzClLu8DXlM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzcQxRr1cSw

Chairlegs

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Yolo? NO! You live every day
The correct term is YODO. You.Only.Die.Once
Make sure that never happens

monkeys_r_us

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Re: Jokes?
« Reply #239 on: May 08, 2015, 07:30:42 AM »

Two guys walk into a bar. A third guy ducks.
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Boo! I am the forum ghost!
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