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Author Topic: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans  (Read 2806 times)

GreyCaboose

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This RP will be PG-13, and will contain body horror, some cursing, frightening imagery, and potential violence. Proceed with caution!

Hehehehhehe I'm tired and impulsive who wants to explore more Cabbieverse

But a side of it you've never seen before..

Oh, wait, yes, you have. Except I re-worked it, so it's super different! That's right, things are different here!! Get ready!!

~

You are a human. You have always been a human. Depending on your future choices, you might not stay a human, but you don't know that. You are a human! How quaint.

You wake up a cozy little human, in your cozy little human bed. You are alone. That's normal, since you live alone. You're a functioning adult! Or perhaps, functioning adult-aged spiritual child. I wouldn't know, we've only really just met.

You arise from your cozy bed, checking your clock. 10 AM! That would be disastrous if you had a job to work at in the mornings. But you don't, so you're still cozy. You check your mirror!

You are a:
A) Cozy Human Female
B) Cozy Human Male
C) Cozy Human Other (Specify - Nonbinary, Genderfluid, Agender, etc)
« Last Edit: March 28, 2018, 08:31:02 AM by GreyCaboose »
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GreyCaboose

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2018, 02:33:30 PM »

OFGP!!!
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ChaoticRhymer

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2018, 02:35:18 PM »

A.
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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

GreyCaboose

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2018, 02:49:16 PM »

You are a cozy human female - Look at you! All cozy in your blankets...

Wait take your blankets off those go on the bed not on your shoulders.

No - Don't - Now you listen to me, missy!!

...

...You are a cozy human female walking around your house like an idiot wrapped up in blankets. Like an idiot, you hear me?? Those belong on your bed!

You peruse your cozy kitchen, about to grab a tasty bowl of GENERIC BRAND-Os before you notice something horribly strange...

A) A large crack in your kitchen wall, leaking ooze.
B) A strange bird outside the window, squawking and staring.
C) An odd, small, and brightly-colored package sliding through your front door's mail slot.
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ChaoticRhymer

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2018, 03:13:24 PM »

C.
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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

GreyCaboose

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2018, 03:45:57 PM »

A small cozy little package - Shaped a bit like a small, thin book - wrapped in bright red paper and stamped with a variety of different-animal-shaped navy blue stamps slides through your mail slot and falls to the floor, neatly decorated with twine. You put your bowl of GENERIC BRAND-Os down and head over to the door, kneeling down and picking it up. You read what's been stamped on it in navy blue ink:

TO MISTER CALEB PEKO
3893 BIJOUX STREET
THE SAME EXACT TOWN AS THE ONE WE'RE SENDING IT FROM
wHY DO WE NEED A ZIP CODE OR STATE IF IT'S THE SAME EXACT TOWN
ARE YOU POSTMEN BLIND
IDIOTS


You are not a 'Mister Caleb Peko'.

In the corner you spot the return address...

BRIGHID AND DOMOVOI TRINKETS AND FOLK ART
6182 DOXY LANE
AGAIN WITH THE ASKING FOR THE WHO WHATS AND WHERES
YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS FROM
DELIVER IT
IDIOTS


Hm...You've heard of a 'Brighid and Domovoi', and you've passed by Doxy Lane a few times. You're also sure that there's a Bijoux Street somewhere around here...

Then again, you're kind of curious to see what this is.

You decide to...

A) Return the package to Brighid and Domovoi - They can probably re-send it, or figure out what to do with their misplaced merchandise.
B) Hunt down 'Caleb Peko' and deliver the package yourself - Is that legal? I dunno.
C) Open it yourself. Your present now.
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ChaoticRhymer

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2018, 03:50:47 PM »

B. Afterwe finish breakfast (which must include coffee), a shower, and we get dressed.
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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

GreyCaboose

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2018, 04:02:55 PM »

You decide that, in this great game of life, you will play the good neighbor! ...Except you're technically not this guy's neighbor, you suppose. You prepare your morning breakfast of GENERIC BRAND-Os and coffee, take a quick shower - I said a quick shower - Okay! Fine! A LONG-ASS shower, and then, towel as garb, you pull open your drawers. Whatever shall you wear?

A) A cute yet modern Autumnal outfit - It's totally Autumn! The creator is not in denial about this Eternal Midwestern Winter and is not projecting their wish for their favorite season onto this - With a nice black jacket, an orange shirt, a scarf, jeans, boots, the works!
B) A graphic tee featuring a cartoony red dog consuming a worryingly large blue apple with the words 'MMM YES TASTY' on it in big red letters along with a black hoodie and sweatpants. And crocs. Yessss crocs.
C) A sweater - Or jumper, if you're an un-American LOSER - with cute Winter-y folk-ish designs. You probably picked this up from a thrift store. Oooh, thrift shopping! Throw in some jeans and your grandfathers' old coat, and you're gonna pop some tags! This is freaking awesome!
D) Crop top and short shorts. And flip flops. It's 45 degrees outside because its totally Autumn and you're sTILL DRESSIN LIKE A THOTTIE because a HOE NEVER GETS COLD
E) White dress shirt and long black skirt. Throw in a wool cardigan and you've got the old angry librarian look DOWN.

Yes this is very important to the story I swear
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ChaoticRhymer

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2018, 04:07:47 PM »

A. Make sure our socks are wool. Dumbledore was right, one can never have too many pairs.
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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

GreyCaboose

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2018, 04:15:09 PM »

You are feeling incredibly cozy with your cute Autumn attire, complete with - Yes - wool socks. So cozy.

You leave your apartment, being sure to lock the door, and you make your way down the sidewalk, your bright red package in hand. You reach a fork, either able to turn right, left, or to keep going straight...And you're not sure you remember, or even knew in the first place, where Bijoux Street was.

Hm...

A) Left.
B) Right.
C) Onwards.
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ChaoticRhymer

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2018, 04:35:29 PM »

Can we ask someone for directions?
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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

GreyCaboose

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #11 on: March 26, 2018, 10:53:38 PM »

Nope!
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Panzercrappitastica

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #12 on: March 27, 2018, 12:35:18 AM »

C
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Purple-handed peep Volger with a flash tattoo hoverboarding around the Lynx in the blue hour with adreneline coursing through his penguins while failing to own the sunset! In a hoop skirt.

Pan the Imperial Bucket Holder

"Early to bed, early to rise, early to plan the world's demise"
- Catvomitsky

GreyCaboose

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #13 on: March 27, 2018, 01:00:50 AM »

Onwards it is, then! You triumphantly continue forwards, crossing the street and continuing for quite a ways before you come across a street sign...

BIJOUX STREET

Success! You've picked the right path and found Bijoux Street! You make your way down the walk, checking the address on the package before stopping in front of a dilapidated old building with the familiar letters 3893 on it.

A) Knock on the door
B) Slide the package through the mail slot
C) Leave it on the doorstep, knock, and RUN AWAY
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ChaoticRhymer

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Re: (Choose Your Own Adventure!) Monsters Are Harsh; Especially To Humans
« Reply #14 on: March 27, 2018, 02:25:27 AM »

A.
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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
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