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Author Topic: MY NEWESTEST FANFIC!!!  (Read 1032 times)

Bea-la

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MY NEWESTEST FANFIC!!!
« on: March 20, 2011, 08:24:22 AM »

Okay I am so proud of my self.  I had this awesome idea for a fanfic and this is part one:


The System
Part one: introduction
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   "It's too dark here" Croy muttered looking out over the city.  "I like the dark... but not like this" Shay whispered, clutching Croy tightly.  "No fireworks, no voices, no happiness" she continued.  Croy and Shay stared down at the tiny bodies, crammed together in the walled in courtyard looking like ants.  They stood staring at the tiny amphitheater at the head of their small city.   "They all know that things are going to change" Croy said softly in Shay's ear, "but they have no idea that it's going to end up like this."  Shay shook her head, the tears falling from her eyes.  "If only Tally.." she said tearfully, but she was cut off by the explosive crack from the stage.  Croy and Shay whirled around, there as if she had appeared out of nowhere stood a dark clothed figure, they wore a black robe with the hood pulled over their face.  "Welcome" the voice said in a razor-sharp, icy voice. She pulled the hood off revealing a terrifying face.  Beautiful, but with jet black eyes and jet black hair.  Her face was pale, so her blood red lips stood out.  her face was covered in pale scars, looking like stitches.  She smiled revealing pearl white and razor sharp teeth.  They looked like tiny, sparkly daggers, glinting like diamonds in the dim light. 
   Screams and shrieks resounded from the crowds of people.  As if on cue to their terror, black clad figures stepped to the top of the wall.  They removed their hoods to reveal similar faces.   
   The bodies in the courtyard were no longer still.  They were all turning towards the large hovergate that now was closed, locking them all in to the courtyard.  Their terrified screams erupted instantly, Shay could barely breath, tears poured down her face.  "What does she want with those poor people... I'm rarely one to pity.... but this is absolutely TERRIBLE." 
"But you know that we WILL fix this right?" Croy asked, looking at Shay. She didn't reply just watch the woman at the front of the stage slowly begin to relay to the crowd what was going to change their lives forever .
   "Please, be silent" she said with a horrifying calm.  "We would not want any problems, would we."  She scanned the crowd with intense eyes, the other terrifying men following suit. The screams began to fade as quickly as they had started. 
   The woman resumed her speech, " My name is Nel and I am the head of what we like to call the new Pretty Committee, Law force, and Special Circumstances.  Our sole purpose to you people is to make your lives better.  Although we are not taking what you might consider the average method of improvement.  You see today we are instituting a new "program" in every city in the world. We have decided that our society is beginning to follow the path the Rusties took.  The path we would hate for society to follow.... again." 
   The silence resounded until a scream escaped from the audience.  "Tally Youngblood will never stand for this!"  the voice quavered, but spoke strongly.
   Del laughed, "It is actually due to the termination of Ms. Youngblood, that we are introducing this program.  Nothing will stand in our way."  She smiled to the audience looking as if she expected to see them smiling back.  No one was.
   "I sense you are all wondering what your roles will be in this new age of progress?  All you have to do is exactly what we say... Excuse me, you will have to do exactly what we say; you will have no choice... or we will have to say what the old Specials used to say : We don't want to hurt you but we will if we have to.                 You will do exactly as we say, you will follow every rule, every law.  You will do as we command and everything will go smoothly.  This new order is effective immediately.  I call it The System," her voice was chilling and calm.. and disgusting Shay thought.
   She opened her mouth to speak again, but a scream from a child exploded from behind the stage.  Nel whirled around, to see one of her Specials emerge carrying a baby. Nel pulled her lips into a final terrifying sneer.  "This is the child of Tally Youngblood.  We have named her Xea after the great visionary, Dr. Cable or Xea Cable.  We will make sure that she never follows the path that her mother took.  She will never even be offered the chance.  She will spend her life following The System's strict laws exactly."  The baby began to wail.
   "Don't be angry little one,"  Nel said her voice was honey over shards of ice, "I've just realized that freedom has a way of destroying things.  Individuals are incapable of choosing the best course of action for themselves and for humanity itself.  The System will resolve this.... forever."
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Beth-la

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Re: MY NEWESTEST FANFIC!!!
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2011, 08:29:58 AM »

CROY!!!!! OH HOW I'VE MISSED YOU!
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Bea-la

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Re: MY NEWESTEST FANFIC!!!
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2011, 08:37:34 AM »

 ;D  So... how is it.....
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Shax

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Re: MY NEWESTEST FANFIC!!!
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2011, 09:41:30 AM »

;D  So... how is it.....
Awsome!!!
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Bea-la

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Re: MY NEWESTEST FANFIC!!!
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2011, 11:17:54 AM »

Thankiess  :D
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Shax

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Re: MY NEWESTEST FANFIC!!!
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2011, 09:19:22 AM »

np :P
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