These are all really funny so I decided to resurrect the thread with them you're welcome.
Louis: "Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen."
Alouicious: "Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose."
Logan: "Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."
Muriel the Eternal Beholder of the Face of Endless Beneficence behind the Thin Curtain of Mortality: "The longer the title the less important the job."
Lanying: "Good girls are bad girls that never get caught."
Biff: "Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise."
Lifen: "You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice."
Agni: "The real reason women live longer than men is because they don’t have to live with women."
Lifen: "Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs."
Lord Ledaal Wen: "Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up."
Mengyao: "Eat right, exercise, die anyway."
Lucas: "I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours."
Mengyao: "When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water."
Reed/Topknot: "I will leave a beautiful corpse."
Lanfen: "Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are."
Mabel: "Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?"
Bingweng: "By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game."
Mrs Song: "Women should not have children after 35. Really… 35 children are enough."
Muriel: "Lite: the new way to spell “Light,” now with 20% fewer letters!"
James: "I went to see my doctor. “Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me?” He said “I don’t know but your eyesight is perfect.”
Enric: "Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go."
Van: "If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it."
Michael: "How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it."
Lanying: "Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes."
