For those of you who’ve been asking, here’s how my appearances usually run:
1. In bookstore events, somewhere between 50 and 100 people show up. These numbers seem to be completely random, unrelated to either weather or local urbanization. Sometimes at book festivals and other large venues, hundreds appear. Those who come early sit closer, but no one is turned away!
2. Some people wear costumes! Specials face paint! Peeps contact lenses! Midnighters tattoos! This is all awesome.
3. First I do a half-hour talk about how Leviathan came to be, and how Keith and I work together. This presentation has many slides of his lovely art, which allow me to make hilarious visual jokes! Later in the tour, my schtick is smoother, but it is always stirring.
4. Next I answer all your burning questions about everything—the Leviathan series, the Uglies books, the Midnighters and New York trilogies, my adult books, my Powerpuff Girl choose-your-own-adventures, writing advice, or whatever. (Pro tip: Raise your hand early on when everyone else being shy, and your question will be answered.)
5. You can always buy my books at my appearances. Even if it’s at a library, there will be a table with book. You can bring your old copies too. Because . . .
6. Then I sign stuff. This can take a while, but your patience is rewarded by exhausted/witty banter and the fact that I sign pretty much anything put in front of me. I pose for pictures too. In case of very long lines, some stores have rules, like, “only two things signed.” (But I have been known to break these rules and sign extra things. Tell no one.)
7. HOWEVER, I would strongly encourage you to buy at least one book at the store hosting the event. I mean, it’s in your interest to keep them in business! But please come up and say hi, even if you are penniless.
8. Please assume I don’t how to spell your name, even if it’s “Rick.” (Cause there was this guy “Rique” once. Seriously. I have not recovered.)
9. The whole thing takes between one and two-and-a-half hours. Of course, most people are gone well before the end, because once your book is signed, your outta there!
10. Unlike most tours, Justine will not be traveling with me this time. You need not bring her books or search for her. 🙁
11. Gifts are nice, but please remember that you outnumber me. (And if they’re heavy, they will not make it home.)
That is all.