11 Things About Tours

For those of you who’ve been asking, here’s how my appearances usually run:

1. In bookstore events, somewhere between 50 and 100 people show up. These numbers seem to be completely random, unrelated to either weather or local urbanization. Sometimes at book festivals and other large venues, hundreds appear. Those who come early sit closer, but no one is turned away!

2. Some people wear costumes! Specials face paint! Peeps contact lenses! Midnighters tattoos! This is all awesome.

3. First I do a half-hour talk about how Leviathan came to be, and how Keith and I work together. This presentation has many slides of his lovely art, which allow me to make hilarious visual jokes! Later in the tour, my schtick is smoother, but it is always stirring.

4. Next I answer all your burning questions about everything—the Leviathan series, the Uglies books, the Midnighters and New York trilogies, my adult books, my Powerpuff Girl choose-your-own-adventures, writing advice, or whatever. (Pro tip: Raise your hand early on when everyone else being shy, and your question will be answered.)

5. You can always buy my books at my appearances. Even if it’s at a library, there will be a table with book. You can bring your old copies too. Because . . .

6. Then I sign stuff. This can take a while, but your patience is rewarded by exhausted/witty banter and the fact that I sign pretty much anything put in front of me. I pose for pictures too. In case of very long lines, some stores have rules, like, “only two things signed.” (But I have been known to break these rules and sign extra things. Tell no one.)

7. HOWEVER, I would strongly encourage you to buy at least one book at the store hosting the event. I mean, it’s in your interest to keep them in business! But please come up and say hi, even if you are penniless.

8. Please assume I don’t how to spell your name, even if it’s “Rick.” (Cause there was this guy “Rique” once. Seriously. I have not recovered.)

9. The whole thing takes between one and two-and-a-half hours. Of course, most people are gone well before the end, because once your book is signed, your outta there!

10. Unlike most tours, Justine will not be traveling with me this time. You need not bring her books or search for her. 🙁

11. Gifts are nice, but please remember that you outnumber me. (And if they’re heavy, they will not make it home.)

That is all.

45 thoughts on “11 Things About Tours

  1. I’m so glad you’re coming to KC on Thursday – authors never make it to KC. Closest they ever get is Chicago or Dallas. But, alas, I have class (stupid college schedule). But, I’m excited you’re coming to my city even if I can’t be there, and if you have any time afterward, be sure to hit up one of our barbeque joints. My personal recommendation is Arthur Bryants or Jack Stack.

  2. I am so excited for when you come to Round Rock! My fiance and I will be making the three hour trek from Lewisville to see you! I cannot wait! Need to remember camera too since you will pose for pictures >w< Yay!

  3. *singsong* SOO excited!!!
    AHH i love all these rules and tips, I already have a stack of books right next to the computer that i’m going to take.

    lol rique

  4. ;n; you should go more places on the east coast. The only opportunity I had to come was gone. *dying* its okay D< ill eventually get there. XD And as revenge Ill make you sign it to a ridiculously hard name to spell

  5. Just to let anyone who lives in Guelph, Ontario, Canada know….Goliath is out at the chapters here 🙂 I dropped it to check and found it staring up at me from a table. I feel the need to scream with joy.

  6. I soooooooo wish you were near me! Sadly, almost no authors come to Maine, so I guess I’ll content myself with staying up until midnight for GOLIATH TO COME OUUUUT!!!!! I’m not excited or anything,…

  7. Number 9! You used the wrong form of “you’re”!! You’re a legit writer, dude! That should be like, second nature!

    lol Sorry but that just made my day. I never thought I’d be irked at a bestselling author for grammatical errors. xD

  8. 24 hours till I finally meet Scottla. My head might explode. Might. See you St. Louis Scott. Also, everyone who can’t come, there will be other opportunities to meet him in the future. I mean… he has other books to write… right Scott?

  9. I seriously hope my plans go through to meet you on the 22nd in NY. I’ll be traveling all the way from the bay state! Can’t wait!
    Also, I’ll be up at midnight with my kindle for the release of Goliath. SO EXCITED!


  11. It. Is. TOMORROW!!!!!!!!! *dies* my friend said “GOLIATH” at lunch today. I flipped.


  12. You misspelled you’re on number nine. But it’s nbd. (oh ho ho, the human spell-check strikes again!)

    I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, btw. I’m so excited! *fistpump*


    …but I can’t get it til Thursday! D: And who knows when I’ll find time to read it? DARN YOU UNIVERSITY.

  14. Fail! Went to ensure Goliath was at my book store (BAM is the only national chain in Mobile, AL and we have 2 of them) and neither carried it!!! They have the audio books but not the book itself!!! What the freak?! Now I have to drive all the way across the bay to get it!! Scott should visit and make it better! 🙂 We Alabamer folks read ya too, Scott! :]

  15. @ K-Shay
    Yeah, I know what you mean. My bookstore doesn’t carry the Magic or Madness series and I want to read it to see what it’s about. And I hate ordering stuff.

  16. OMG! I cannot contain my excitement!!! Usually I wait for Christmas for these books, but I CANNOT WAIT! I’m getting it ASAP, and reading it faster than the speed of light. 🙂 (I love Dalek to death! And may I say that “Deryn” is a super awesome name?)

  17. Its the 20th in the states… Know what that means?????? GOLIATH IS OUT, AND ITS MY BIRTHDAY! YAY GOLIATH AND BIRTHDAYS!

  18. Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Goliath has not not arrived on my kindle yet! I thought it was delivered at midnight!!!

  19. Everyone stop bugging Scott about spelling errors! You type fast when you’re excited too, don’t you? 😉

    I’ll be in Minneapolis on Friday. I can’t wait, but may have to reread Behemoth before opening Goliath. That’s no punishment!

  20. well first off Scottsters, i have LOTS to say (when dont i??) but ill limit my hopless rants about every little thing to one question- WHEN IS THE SPOILER THREAD GOING TO BE UP?!

    love the Goli CAKE,

  21. I have so many mixed feelings when I read your posts about signings. I got to see you back in 2006 when I went to a book signing for Specials in LaCrosse I believe, and my friend took a picture with her camera, and I was never given said picture even to this day in 2011, almost exactly 5 years later.
    That, that is depressing. I still have a signed book though! And a signed picture I drew of Shay!
    Still, a photograph would be nice. You’re the most famous person I’ve met and obviously I love your books. :/ le sigh.

  22. omg i wish you came to my town I LOVE your book I got hooked at uglies THis article is sooooo cool i with i knew scott westerfild

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