337 thoughts on “I iz on iPhone”

  1. That is so cool! I’m not surprised, though – the Uglies series is really popular, at least at my school. Helped along by those of us who recommend it to every person we meet. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. That’s amazing! It’s great to see your work in places one seems least likely to expect it. =) If I had an iPhone, I would definitely get that app.

  11. Why not have War and Peace?

    Because the iPhone would-be-customers don’t care about that! duhhhh! ๐Ÿ™‚

    And because Specials is my all-time favorite of all of your books, Senor. The Apple people did it for ME.

    Ahhh I love the conceit…

  12. thats amazing! so cool!

    but yah not surprised…everyone luuuuvvvss uglies series cause its totally fawsome!

  13. As cool as that is, I’m not sure I would get that app if I had an iPhone. I don’t really like reading things on screens when I can read them in a book, especially if that book has a realy cool cover (love the tattoo on the cover of Specials).

    I’m reading Specials right now. I love it!!! It’s quickly moving into my favorite-book-from-that-series spot. Can’t wait to finish it and read Extras. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Merry Christmas Eve! Click my name. Comment, I like comments. ๐Ÿ˜€

    (should I keep the ‘wa’ in my name???)

  14. That. This is really awesome.

    (Then again, whoever wrote War And Peace—I should really know this, right?—probably didn’t *use* Apple products himself, so they’re not giving him any free advertising.)

  16. that is awsome oh tell justine i’m buying how to dith your fairy today i’m totally exited and cyler they both sound awsome

  17. Wow. That’s is freaking fantastic!
    By the way, did you hear that the iphone also has this special app that measures your blood alcohol content? Isn’t that awesome! Now people can’t say they didn’t know how drunk they were if they own iphones, there’s no excuse!

  21. i want an iphone 4 christmas(i know i m not gunna get 1 tho) i won’t have 2 carry a book around w/ me all the time& people won’t call me a crazy, wierdo, nerd!!!=D

  22. Maybe they would have War and Peace, but they are most likely trying to appeal to young people. And young people much prefer Specials to War and Peace. I know I do.

  26. Merry Christmas Scott-la!!!!(ur clock thing says Dec.25, so i’ll go w/ that) i wish i lived where u live(not in a stalkerish way i just want it 2 b christmas) oh….& Merry Christmas 2 anybody who’s christmas is 2day because of time zones!!!!=D

  27. I wish I had an i-phone.
    While being able to read books an i-phone would be cool, I don’t think that I would actually read books on it (to small of screen).
    War and Peace is by Leo Tolstoy.

    Click my name, leave comments. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Is the video on my blog too much? Your opinion on that would be really helpful.

  28. Psssh! Of course! Specials is as awesome as an iPhone! And iPhone’s are pretty awesome, so that’s saying something…

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  29. Ashley-wa: Thanks for the input. I guess I will keep the -wa for this blog. Now that I’ve finished Midnighters and I’m halfway through the Uglies series, I felt that I needed a more Westerfeldian name. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Click my name. Leave a comment. What do you think of my current series of pics, The Christmas That Went Wrong In So Man Ways???

    Happy Holidays!!!

  30. Woot woot! Go Scott! I agree, they want to appeal to young folks – haha. Besides – how many GBs would War and Peace take up?!?!

  32. Actually, the uglies series totally fits with the whole “read books on a screen” concept, seeing as this would save an imcredible amount of paper. Plus, there are some readers (not apple related) that don’t even have a backlight, so they don’t hurt your eyes, which is pretty cool in my opinion.

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  33. Ya, it does make sense, haha. I can see Scott-la looking at it and being like “Wow…that sounds SO familiar…I can’t quite put my finger on it…”

  37. *screech!*

    that. is. fawesomeness.

    *adds to list of reasons why iphone is a must-have* who doesnt like books on little handheld devices? altho i would probably rather have an actual BOOK. i mean, who doesnt love books? but that little thing at the bottom of the screen that shows how far through the book you are kind of sold me.

    -Lizzy-wa OUT! ๐Ÿ˜€

  41. Merry Christmas to you,
    My awesome friend.
    Let’s party ’till dawn,
    And hope it won’t end.

    Let’s pretend to be Jedi,
    And talk like Yoda.
    Then we’ll talk like Chewbacca,
    With the help of some soda.

    Let’s exchange presents,
    And text one another.
    We will LOL
    And make fun of your brother.

    When Santa arrives,
    We will get coal
    Because we were all drunk
    And danced on the pole.

    Someone will get hurt,
    And it will probably be me.
    Everyone will laugh,
    Except the one who had to pee.

    I don’t know what to say,
    So I will type one more thing.
    I hope your Christmas is merry,
    See you in the spring.

    -Amy

  42. Lizzy-wa: so@ thanksgiving my grandma has this list where u put what u want 4 christmas on. @ the time i was in the middle of Specials(not really the middle, i was @the part where Tally was in the padded cell in Diego. i remember this because @ the part where Tally saw that she was wearing the butterfly thing& ripped off& i started laughing, everybody was like what r u laughing@ Ashley? i didn’t feel like explaining, so i didn’t answer.) anyways i put Extras down 1st on my list w/ a bunch of stars around it.(i wasn’t thinking i would finish Specials like 4 days later) then i went 2 Borders w/ my mom that week& picked up Extras& i was going 2 buy it until my mom took it from me(she knew somebody had already bought it 4 me) so yeah!!!

    Audrey-sensi: there does need 2 b another Uglies book!!!=D

  44. Okay so my beloved iPod started wacking out today, and I didn’t even drop it or anything. And when I plugged it in to my computer to charge it, it like froze and said my iPod was corrupted or something and that I had to restore it. So I clicked the Restore my Ipod button, and it’ been loading for like half an hour and making me angry. It better not be broken, I just got it like 2 months ago, and it’s like the other half of my soul…

  45. Ashley-wa: yeah I hate how during Christmas you can’t buy anything for yourself for, like, a month.

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  46. T&Z: Have you tried restarting your I-pod? I have found when my I-pod is acting wonky that that usually does the trick.

    My I-pod is so full that I have to take music off to be able to add new songs. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Click my name. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜€

  48. Ya, I don’t know what was up with it. Idk how, but I fixed it. I got the new 16 gb nano, so I have wayyyyy more than enough room on there. I have 343 songs and have only uses 1.4 gb it’s crazy.

  50. That’s so cool!! Although, like Dahlia-wa said, the cover is AMAZING and it’d be totally missing to not be able to gawk at it every now and then. (P.S. Dahlia-wa, you should keep the -wa. It sounds bubbly!)

    Everyone have a HAPPY and >>>SAFE<<< Holiday season!! Watch out for giant flying bats!

    Tally & Zane: I don’t have an Ipod, but I HATES it when my mp3 player acts up, it’s like ‘I’m sorry I dropped a book on you!’ but yeah, totally the other half of my soul! Without music, life would be totally missing. Maybe Tally-wa just needed some music..

    Another Uglies book would be da-bomb. And I don’t say ‘da-bomb’ about just anything, you can’t use the 90’s slang for cheese. It would be awesome to see if her world turned Rusty or went down it’s own righteous path!!

  52. Um, okay, just between you and me (and the rest of the Internet too, I suppose) you shouldn’t use 90’s slang for *anything*

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  54. OMG!that is so funny that they would put that
    i mean it totally desrves that but stil…

    AGREED!90s slang should never be used

  55. HEY. I am a child of the 90’s and I have every right to use it. It is AWESOME. The styles however…*shudder*.
    Happy Holidays, and Happy Usage of 90’s Slang.. XD
    bye bye

  56. luving the convo on 90’s slang!!! my friend Keri(i seem 2 talk about her alot because she is my bestie) used 2 say radicle all the time until she realized it wasn’t cool, which BTW was last year!!! she cracks me up!!!=D

  57. Thanks, Jay-wa. It’s nice to know someone likes my blog. After all, I do put quite a bit of work into making it interesting. ๐Ÿ˜€

    If you haven’t clicked my name yet, I suggest you do that now. ๐Ÿ™‚

    P.S.
    If someone wants to use 90s slang, they have every right to. Though I personally prefer British slang.

  59. The only thing good about the 90’s were…um…the fact that it’s the decade I grew up in?

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  60. Yeah, British slang kicks all others by like a mil. And so do British accents….hehe…And certain actors with very yummy British accents, can you say I frickin’ love you Alex Pettyfer???

  61. i think its okay 2 use 90’s slang as lond as it is used in the right way@ the right time;D just like pretty slang, u know bubbly, bogus, pretty, happy, ect.-making!!!! so yeah i think i’ve made my point!!! Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays!!! whichever=D

  64. BTW-nice blog Dahlia-wa!!! i’ve been there b4(not 2 sound like a stalker, which i m not) those pictures were pretty cool!!!=D

  66. Ashley-wa does make a point, 90s slang is okay, if used in the right way and at the right time, i still dont like 90s slang though.

    ~Aryll-wa

  67. actually 90’s slang doesn’t bother me as much as when people sware in every sentance 4 no reason@ all!!!=D

  68. URG! iPhone books? What is the world coming to? I like tradition and paper books! Whats the point of reading if you don’t really ‘have’ the book in your hands to read? Its a novel for crying out loud not your latest news of a hip-hop band! URG!

    Save the Readers and actually read BOOK!

  69. I love book, but readers are the future of our environment if we don’t want to end up like Rusties, but yes I do prefer regular books as well.

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  70. Its technology that causes people to not read. YES! I BLAME IT ON TECH.!

    I hate the world for taking away my books. (says while rocking back and forth on floor.)

    I think i need help.

  71. I WILL OPEN UP A BOOK STORE AND NO ONE WILL TAKE MY BOOKS! AND I WILL WRITE BOOKS AND MAKE IT ILLEGAL FOR MY BOOKS TO BE MADE IN TO E-BOOKS!

    I want to be an author! Wouldn’t that be nifty?

  73. Woah, uh, okay, hi! jk, actually, I don’t think it’s technology that’s preventing people from reading. They do that just fine by themselves. In fact, maybe if more reading was incorporated with technology, people would be more appreciative of it.

    And I don’t find it’s sad that people have been reading less and less, because I kind of like having some books all to myself.

    Merry Christmas to you too, Bran-a!

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  74. wow, u r hyper!!! i keep 4getting 2morrow is Christmas!!! if i can’t go on the computer 2morrow Merry Christmas 2 u all!!!! hope u have a wonderful day!!!!

  84. that’s so cool!!!
    merry christmas!!!!!! =)
    i got this shirt that says ‘don’t worry, pluto…i’m not a planet, either’…and it has this picture of pluto crying…it’s so sad!!! ='(
    poor pluto!
    i’m happiful!

  85. So I just got Bogus to Bubbly about an hour ago and I cannot wait to sit down and read it front to back!!!Your dedication was positively amazing, though I’m saddened by the fact that I was not featured:( It’s alright though, I’ll be in the next one:D

    That’s so cool about book on the iPhone. Now I can get my iPhone friends into the books without having to lend out my copies to seven people and forget who has which book:D

    Alright, I should probably get off before I get in trouble for spending Christmas on the computer:P

    Merry Christmas everybody!!

  86. Happy Christmahanukwanzica, and a happy (almost) New Year!

    That’s sick! I’m kind of surprised, though. Doesn’t Apple usually use books/songs/whatevers that are weird and that no one’s ever heard of for their advertisments? Like that odd “1, 2, 3” song.
    I personally prefer regular books to audiobooks or ones you read on a screen. Although it makes me feel like a bad person. I’M READING ON (as Scott-la put it in “Stupid Perfect World”) DEAD WOOD PULP!

  89. Okay, the iPhone is already one of the awesomest things out there, and a novel app featuring Specials? It just got way more icy, man.

  92. Omg yes! I got skinned for Christmas. Not to mention, dante’s divine comedy and a dj booth for iPods! Hope everyone out there is having a merry Christmas or hannukah. No snow for us, though. Just rain.

    Oh yeah and I’m typing all this on my iPod touch, which is a phone and a camera short of the iPhone. Aren’t I skillful? Life is good.

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  93. Oh, and by “skinned” I meant the book by robin wasserman, jsyk. Haha

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  94. Audrey-sensi: u r sooo lucky!!! i wish i had an itouch!!! my friend does, and u can do soo much fun things on it!!! i m having a good christmas tho=D

  96. Oooo, I’ve heard of those. They sound neat, and I think Oprah gave some of those iPhone novel reading things away.

    Happy Holidays, peeps! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  97. HOORAY!!! I GOT BOGUS TO BUBBLY!!!(!!!) AND THE LAST DAYS, SO YESTERDAY AND HOW TO DITCH YOUR FAIRY!!
    SO amazingly happy!!! Happy Holidays!

    (I love that Scott-la put a bunch of commenter’s names on there! Way to represent!! And I also loved in Bogus to Bubbly (because I swore I’d read the rest after winter break…even though I’m reading HTDYF..) how it was like so futuristic and Scott-la would put his opinion and everything)

    Also, Scott-la Justine is very pretty! And a utterly amazing writer!
    Peace.

  98. Well i admitted i was hyper, right? I mean that IS a couple steps in the right direction.

    Merry (i almost said Happy) Christmas Everyone! I had a great hope you did, too.

  99. Jay-wa: i got HTDYF 2!!! it is amazing!!its really funny!! @ 1st when i started reading it this morning i was wondering what a spoof was, then when i caught on 2 what it was i was like ohkaaay!!!!(lol)it was kinda funny!!!=D

  100. I thought it was (totally doos!) hilarious too! I love Charlie! And Steffi!! Hooray!! Any other totally bubbly gifts?

  101. I’m listening to space oddity by david bowie. It’s pretty intense!

    Dahlia-wa: I loved your chibi! It was quite hilarious!

    Audrey-sensei: I hope you enjoy Skinned, I thought it was beyond amazing! (Yay! iPhone!)

    Sydner: I hope you enjoy Bogus to Bubbly!! It’s vastly full of knowledge and after words, you can feel the imminent future! (Whether we all die however…)

  102. i wish i had a shopping fairy!!! that would b awesome!!!(almost as awesome as getting a hoverboard!)those would totally both b totally major doos!!!=D

  105. I got some pretty wicked art stuff that I’m totally in love with. Lots of charcoal and special graphite pencils,tortillions,sketching books, paints, and canvas. And a ton of clothes, bookstore giftcards, and other stuff.

  106. Jay-wa: Thanks. I was kind of worried that I wouldn’t finish on time because my original idea for the xmas chibi didn’t turn out right so I had to draw that one on Christmas Eve. I was rushing to finish inking the lines before midnight mass (which was at 9) and then I had to rush even more to color it in after church.

    My bubbliest gift was definitely the Wii. I love Wii!!! I especially love Mii. Another very bubbly gift was MCR’s Black Parade. Love it! ๐Ÿ˜€

  107. I love artsy stuff, though I can only draw well while ignoring my math teacher…I hope you enjoy your gives Tally&Zane and Ashley-wa!!

  108. My friend was totally hoping for a Wii, and she loves loves loves MCR. It’s insane so many people are alike, and yet completely different! I happy everyone had a good Holiday season!

  111. HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!! /HANNUKAH/KWANZA/NEW YEAR/OTHER ESSENTIAL HOLIDAYS THAT I REALLY CARE ABOUT BUT AM JUST FORGETTING RITE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    hehe. so. did everybody have a fawesome holiday?

    i got BOGUS TO BUBBLY! FINALLY! i read it 12 days before it came out (cuz my bookfair is unnoticing of release dates and loves me! and cuz Vicky-la loves me and let me borrow it after she bought it and i didnt cuz i had no money). and i got BERMUDEZ TRIANGLE and DEVILISH! WOOT! WOOT! plus the ENTIRE WRINKLE IN TIME series! WOOT! WOOT! WOOOOTTTT!!!! hehe.

    i also got a new phone. with texting. but thats nothing compared to my all-powerful WESTERFELD/JOHNSON/L’ENGLE COLLECTIONS!!! hehe

    -Lizzy-wa OUT! ๐Ÿ˜›

  112. Lizzy-wa: Bogus to Bubbly is VASTLY AMAZING!!! It’s so nice to own books you love. You can gawk at them, and sleep better at night knowing they’re safe…Let me know if the Wrinkle in Time series is any good please!

  115. Cool. I thought it looked good, (it was mentioned by Scott-la and Robin Wasserman in the Baltimore Article thing awhile ago) but was kind of hesitant…

  116. woahhhh… iphones are freaking sweet! i want one!

    hope you guys all had a very Merry Christmas! i did! i hung out with my family all day.. we watched 2 movies. Meet Dave. and then we took my grandma to Marley and Me and it is such a saddddd movie! i almost cried. and you could hear everyone sniffling and crying and the little boy infront of me was bawling which made me tear up. yeppppp. well all my family members are demanding that i put pictures up on snapfish and facebook. soooo i suppose i should go do that.

  117. on the subject of art/drawing i SUCK, not even kidding. i can’t even draw good stick people! my friend Keri is sooo good@ drawing tho, her handwriting even looks like the style Century Gothic in size 10or smaller. my handwriting is pretty much okay, but not as perfect as Keri’s. the bubbliest thing(s) i got were HTDYF(luv it) new digital camera(pink one) clothes(2many 2name)…….thats mainly the bubbliest things i got!!!=D

  118. My friend has creepishly amazing handwriting like that too! I mean, mine is legible, ha, but it looks like chicken scratch compared to hers! I don’t think I’m that good at drawing and stuff yet, but I’m practicing and it’s showing improvement! Like I’ll take out some stuff I’ve done even just last year, and it looks like two different people did them. I hope I get better still though, cuz I love it.

  119. Happy Boxing Day 2 those people who live in Canada, the UK, New Zealand, and Australia(i think) and Happy Kwanzaa 2 those who celebrate it!!!!

  121. Boxing day, according to wikipedia, is a public holiday based on the tradition of giving gifts to the less fortunate. Now adays it is seen as the “shopping holiday” associated with after-christmas sales.
    or something like that.

    ~Aryll-wa

  126. right now i m texting, reading, and commenting on this blog!! but i m still bored!! why is the day after christmas boring? isn’t is supposed 2 b fun? UGH!!! summer is going 2 b almost as boring as it is now, exept in the summer i can go outside and walk 2 target or dairy queen or blockbuster or anywhere else near my house!!

  128. where is everybody 2day? its still the holiday season, right. i bet u r all @like holiday parties or something like that while i m @home being bored. well at least i have books!=D

  129. Pfft. No we’re all bored too! We’re just to lazy to make our way to the computer!
    Ashley-wa: You are vastly lucky to be able to walk places from your house! I have walk, like, two miles to reach civilization. Which is nice sometimes, and bogus other times.
    Have a nice night/day!

  131. Jay-wa: yes sometimes it is nice living by many places, but having a main road right outside your backyard is sometimes not so bubbly. some wierd people wald down Gill road!!! last year there were these brain-missing teens who threw sticks @my dog& i was like “what r u doing?” they just laughed& kept walking!!! what bubbleheads!!! UGH!!! some creepers stop their cars @our backyard& stare @my house!!! those people creep me out!!!! bye, G2G2 bed=D

  132. Parties? I wish! I spent yesterday doing absolutly nothing, and today shopping with my mom (which was immensly more boring than it should have been, we spent most of the time in her favorite stores with my feet killing me. I had decided to wear heels to seem, well, not-so-short; BAD IDEA!)
    I feel your pain. There’s a small shopping center behind my house, and these dudes from the deli through bagels over the fence! My dog wasn’t complaining, though. But I get few of the perks, because I’m not aloud to walk far enough to reach any of the good stores.

  133. Tally&Zane:

    I love art, too! It’s always the best thing for gifts, since it’s the holidays and all that jazz. What’s your favorite medium to work in? My preference is colored pencils and charcoal. I kinda suck at paints, unless it’s acrylics. LOL

  135. PrettyxMindedxRusty: lol….the last time i went shopping w/my mom which was b4 christmas i saw some bratty sevies there who knew who i was, so i spent pretty much the whole time avoiding my mom. heels in the mall!!!! r u crazy?!? i always wear whatever shoes i feel like wearing. tho i know how that short thing goes. i am and have always been the shortest person in my grade!!! =D

  136. Zane, that’s cool! My favorite changes a lot though, I like testing out new things. Right now I’d say just plain old graphite, I’m working on mostly sketches right now…A couple months ago I did a painting with oil and acrylic paints and it took foreevvveerrrrr, but I think it turned out okay. Probably one of my best cuz painting isn’t my strong point either. It was of a flower sort of like on the cover of New Moon but I don’t know what it’s called. ๐Ÿ™‚ PrettyxMindedxRusty and Ashley-wa, ditto on the being the shortest! I’m in 9th grade and I just barely made 5’1. I was so proud…ha.

  137. Being short totally sucks, especially in crowded halls!!

    Ashley-wa: If people were throwing things at my dog, I would have been totally freaking out. (even though my dog might deserve it..) and that is kind of creepy, people staring at your house…
    HEELS IN A MALL?!?! My sister did that once, and eventually she had to trade me shoes (yes I looked ridiculous, because my feet hurt) but I would be okay with being short. Just go shopping with shorter people. Like children!
    The only time I don’t like shopping with my mother at the mall is when you see cute boys, then it’s like crap, and you slowly avert your gaze…

    Tally&Zane, PrettyxMindedxRusty, and Ashley-wa: Theres this girl in my ninth grade class who is probably shorter than most fourth graders, like 4’9. I feel bad for her, because if tall people tower over me then it must be like a freak-show for her!

    (p.s. I just read So Yesterday, and for anyone who hasn’t read it, its soooooo worth the time!! Amazing.)

  138. Yeah, I’m only taller than like two people in my grade. And one of them has an excuse, so my success isn’t as sweet…darn. But according to my doctor, I’m not going to get much taller either. I blame my mother’s side of the family, stupid genetics! My brother’s almost three years younger than me and he’s already 2 inches taller, and the lucky brat’s gonna keep growing. He should be like 6’2 they say. I’m gonna frickin’ cry when I have to look up to my LITTLE brother. Eesh! Oh my gosh, my Mom’s awful when we’re shopping and there’s cute guys. She’ll be like totally oblivious that they can actually hear us and like elbow me in the side play whispering and be like HEY, THOSE GUYS ARE KINDA CUTE HUH??? And I’m like Mom, SHUT UPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!! It’s quite degrading. Which is why I tend to only shop with my friends now…Lol.

  140. Jay-wa: i m 4’9” &it actually is okay always having 2 look up@ people 2 c their faces. this 1time i was taller than like 2 people &it felt sooooo wierd. i found myself slouching instead of standing tall like i normally do.
    Tally&Zane:my mom does the whole”those guys r cute” thing 2. then i pretend i don’t know her until they pass. then i get all mad@her.
    =D

  141. If my mom did that, (Tally&Zane) I would be like oh yeah, then hit on one. But my mom would kind of be like NO SHE GOT CORRUPTED!!! so it would be hilarious. and seeing I don’t live in that part of town, I have no clue who any people are and never will see them ever again. Which is nice. (this is all quite funny!)

    Bye, have a nice (yucky today, eh?) day!(night!)

  142. Tally&Zane: my mom does that too! it is the worst thing EVER. and i can’t exactly go shopping with my friends due to the fact that we all hate shopping and are anti-commercialism and think that if we need new clothes we can make them ourselves and we shall not give stupid people our stupid money to be their walking advertisment. yeah.

    okay and i’m medium in height….like, 5’2, or so….average-short, i guess. just i’m best friends with the tallest girl in my grade. so i always feel really short. just one of my friends is kinda short and she has curly hair that she cut short and unusually big feet and we call her a hobbit (cuz my friends are all Lord of the Rings fans and i’m kinda, but not really, but now i know every useless Lord of the Rings fact on the planet) but she’s almost as tall as me now…so i’m just waiting for the day that she’s taller than me and i’ll be the shortest out of all my friends. but whatever. yeah. okay, i’m gonna leave now before i start babbling more and more and more….

  143. Andrea-la!!!!!! how r u ? u haven’t been on in 4ever!! my mom’s a big Lord of the Rings fan2. my friend Keri is like 5’2 or something like that.

  144. i know i haven’t been on in forever, i’ll try to be on more often, i suppose. things have been decent for me, i guess. life isn’t the best, but i don’t wanna have to tell you ’bout all that. heck, i don’t even wanna think about all of it. so right now, i think i might be okay, not great, but better than a week ago, maybe. how are you? i’m sure your life is better than mine and therefore i’d like to hear about it.

  145. my life is very good right now. just finished HTDYF 2day(it was very good) i think i have a procrastination fairy(hehe) which doesn’t want me 2 do any school-work over the break even though i have boatloads of it. i just went 2 my friend Megan’s christmas party on Sunday& realized that her house is VERY unlucky 4 me. example: i spilled water all over their couch. knocked over a folding table&chairs, almost broke a glass decoration(Morgan managed 2 catch it b4 it hit the ground& splatted into a million pieces), spilled hot chocolate all over my best friend Keri’s white sweatshirt, and broke a few(14) candycanes by dropping them. i sware they were all accidents, but i m pretty sure i won’t b going 2 her house any time soon(her mom probably won’t let me come back) i also realized how crazy-making being w/ friends can b. i had medication in my pusre(i tend 2 get headaches in the wors possible place @the wors possible time) and now they say i m on crack because of how crazy i am. the only thing i was doing was demostraiting what Keri was doing @my house which just happened 2 b pelvic thrusting& dancing like u r on drugs or drunk. and Megan just happened 2 take pictures of the whole thing. so yeah i can b pretty wierd sometimes, u just don’t c it.=D

  146. HaHa, wow. I can’t sew or do anything pertaining to making clothes, so I think I’ll stick to shopping for now. Oh, yeah. HTDYF was pretty good. I just went and got Love is Hell today, I’m gonna start reading it soon! Woo! Ashley-wa, you sound just as clumsy as me! Rofl. Hm. Last night I went to my friend’s house and I walked in on them playing mortal combat with stuffie animals and going all like kung fu on eachother! It was just about the most fricking hilarious thing ever.

  148. Ashley-wa: wow, and i thought i was a clutz.
    I procrastinate alot too. if i had homework over christmas break i probably wouldn’t start working on it until the last day. But i really dont have any work. all i have to do is study for finals. we should have already taken all of our finals, but sadly we had a snowday the last day b4 break. and since they couldn’t reschedule the missed finals for the following monday, they were pushed back until the first day back to school. ive only got easy classes left to take, but i feel bad for all those who had tough classes that they were ready to take the finals for but couldn’t

    ~Aryll-wa

  149. i would hate 2 have finals over my head durring break!!! why do u have finals in the middle of the schoolyear? oh, and 2morrow i have 2 go clothes shopping @the mall w/my DAD!!! how bogus is that not 2 mention wierd. =D

  151. ohhhhhh that makes sence, but school breaks make me completely brain-missing. u should c me durring summer vacation, i can barely spell the easiest of words!!!=D

  152. during summer vacation i spend my time reading and basically stay in book-land the whole time. during winter vacation however, i vanish into the music world. and get yelled at a lot because of listening to ‘too much music’. ha. listening to music/playing music all day then letting it keep playing as i fall asleep isn’t that much…i mean, i could just leave the radio on as i sleep, but no, i just play a CD so it stops eventually. lol. so yeah. i’m gonna have to go get new CDs though, or else i’ll get bored of sitting in my room all day listening to music while painting shoes/journaling/thinking about life in general. anyways, i ought to go and listen to more music. i like music. lol.

  153. Ooh Andrea-la, you should get Pretty. Odd. it’s one of Panic at the Disco’s cds and it’s amazinggggggggg. And Folie a Deux by Fall Out Boy, it just came out and its awesome.

  154. Pretty. Odd. is vastly doos! Narrow Stairs by Death Cab For Cutie is great too. Though, it depends on your music taste…

    Ashley-wa: If I had to go shopping with my dad, I’d would be like ‘This bra or this bra?’ Just to be annoying. Though mostly we’d be talking about death and how pathetic commercialism is. Then go to the samurai swords section!

    Andrea-la: Welcome back, and sorry to hear about your not-so-swell going week, it’s nice to have you back!! (Painting shoes?..)

    Finals suck..bleh. I HATES trimesters. It’s like we’re all pregnant..weird…

    Ashley-wa: Wow. Whenever I go to my friends’ house I usually get injured in some way. At least there was only mild hip thrusting involved!

  156. Okkkkay… that is cool!!!
    I mean, its not everyday your books are advitized by the apple company is it?? But hey, if I was you id ask for some sort of Intrest.. you know, for using your work?? lol.
    ANd not that i dont LOVE your work, but would’nt it be more realistoc to use some sort of other material… like what this phone can do or something?? hmm , ah well. Congrats.

  157. Goodhello everbody! (Goodhello was a word I made up) I’m back from Hong Kong after eating a lot of yummy and overpriced noodles and dimsum and deserts and coffee/milk tea that has way too much milk for my taste.

    Ah! Another reason to go out and buy the iPhone. Although I do prefer the feel of the soft pages of books sliding across the tips of my fingers.

    So, a late Merry Christmas to all of you. I spent that day playing at Ocean Park, and the day after that in Disneyland. Although, I must admit, my feet are killing me because I was wearing this stupid boots that I wore and didn’t have space to pack extra shoes in my luggage. And the heels weren’t even high, maybe about like one and a half inches. Although I’m like the second or third tallest girl in my year (169.5 cm or about 5’7) I love to wear heels. I’m wierd like that.

    I thought Pretty. Odd. was mostly terrid. I prefered A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out so much more. But I guess it was that they changed their music style. I’m currently into symphonic/gothic metal/rock (Within Temptation FTW!) and those rap-ballad types. Especially Epik High.

    Oh and I finished HDTYF and Magic or Madness while I was in Hong Kong. (Or more accurately, the flights back and forth.) I couldn’t find any translations of Scott’s books there though. What I did get was a box of chewing gum, which I compulsively buy when I go overseas because of the fact that it is illegal to sell them here in Singapore.

  158. Trish-la: illegal 2 sell gum!?!?! that is bogus!!!!

    okay, so 2 get started on an off topic this morning @exactally 5:30am there was a vastly loud wind shaking my house& all the trees on the other side of my wall. so i tried 2 fall asleep, but sadly failed. @6:00am our power went out w/that loud sound it makes when it goes out like eeeepppp. i did not try to fall asleep because @this time i was fully awake& watching the wind blow trees outside my window. got bored w/that so what other choice do i have than 2 read. i got Love is Hell for christmas &didn’t attemp 2 read it yet until this morning. 1st i read Scott-la’s. it was very good. then i read Justine’s. her’s was pretty graphic compared 2 scott-la’s. scott-la’s had this hormone crazy girl in it who was in ‘love’ w/this guy who was not hormone crazy. his was actually pretty funny i thought. Justine’s on the other hand was ummmm more like an actual love story.i thought they were both good tho!=D

  159. Trish-wa, that’s cool you went to Hong Kong! I have a friend that lives there that I met at my boarding school in New York over the summer! I absolutely love Pretty. Odd. and A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out, I’m a die hard fan I guess. I don’t mind that they changed their sound too much cuz I loved seeing both sides of em. It’s kinda cool. Gum, illegal? Wow, that’s crazy! Ooh, power going out = not fun. Unless you’re with friends and can act like idiots scaring the heck outta your brother. Then it’s very fun.

  161. I have a friend who lives in Singapore…i already knew that it’s illegal there to sell gum. suckishness. lol. also, my not-so-great week(more like three weeks), is leading to a not-so-great future, sorry to sound over-the-top dramatic, but it’s true. still i am not going to talk about it. too depressing. anyways, i’ve been writing more music than listening to it…the suckish part about that is that it is HARD to write music in the middle of the night when all the good ideas come cuz i’m not supposed to play an instrument once one person has gone to bed/before everyone is awake. so yeah. i still have homework to do, but i’m not planning on doing it any time soon….even though it IS math and i quite like math. lol. more like love math. then there’s social studies homework but i honest to goodness hate it. so that’s not gonna get done til the night before three weeks after it was due…lol….

  163. Well, expressing yourself is good, Andrea-la, so since you don’t feel like talking about it, you should just write it out. Maybe you could muffle your instrument? Which instrument do you play anyway? (I have this electronic keyboard that I place a smallish pillow/cushion over to quiet it so that the sound is only loud enough for me to hear. It’s kinda lame, but it works.)

  164. Tally&Zane: it’s the same, we were suppose to have finals b4 break cuz it was the end of the semester, but as i said earlier, we ended up with a snow day. so now i have to study for spanish and art.

    Ashley-wa: there are strong winds where i live too, & there was a thunderstorm yesterday. not that thunderstorms scare me, its just weird that there was one right in the middle of winter.

    Gum being illegal? wow.

    I listen to music too much to.

    ~Aryll-wa

  166. instrument? try instruments (clarinet, oboe, piano, recorders ((of all shapes and sizes)), and learning guitar). i usually just write out a poem, then sing it nice and quiet. i’ll write out a piano part or something. then that’s it. easy. i’d give you an example of some lyrics, but that kinda gives me away. so anyways, back to work.

  167. hey peeps(tehehe) i just got back from the mall, there was some crazy old lady wearing platforms. way 2 high 4 old ladys 2 b wearing. actually i don’t thing anybody should wear them in public. they were soooo ugly!!! i did not buy anything. the mall trip was actually so my dad could have me test out this scavenger hunt he set up 4 my sisters hockey team.(he coaches it) it was a total undoos waste of my time. 2 hours of running around a mall finding clues and stuff and all i got out of it was a big cookie from mrs. feilds! it was bogusx10!!!!! plus my dad &i have the complete opposite of a parking fairy. we always get the worst parking space possible. sometimes it would b nice 2 have a parking fairy. so we parked wayyyy out there and it was really windy. i mean breaking umbrella wind.(not as fierce as meg-lev wind) also not strong enough 2 rip your clothes(if it were that strong i would not have gone outside& made my dad pay 4 vallet parking

  168. Ashley-wa: Clothes-ripping-off wind? That would be INSANE. (Only pulchy boys would be allowed out side… :D)

    Gum? Illegal?!? I would cry. I live off of gum!!

    For once, everyone elses power went out instead of ours! Usually there’s a mild wind and *poof* there goes the power…vastly bogus.

    Why is it illegal to sell gum in Singapore?

    I liked Panic at the Disco with their Exclamation point (!) better.

    Trish-la: I hope you had fun in Hong Kong! I would love to visit different countries (CANADA!!) they always seem cool.

  169. Jay-wa: yes. only pulchy boys would b aloud outside. have u ever been 2 canada? next year i m going 2 Scotland 4 about a month w/my nana&papa. its going 2 b fun, but that means no computer 4 a month! i hope i don’t go insane from the seperstion. i luv the computer! i luv gum 2 its so yummy& flavorful……=D

  170. That is awesome! Now even more people will know about your books! I must say, it’s soooo much better than War and Peace.

  171. i just went sledding with my friends….wow….it was INSANE….of course, i wanted to go as fast as possible off the giant ramp and so i would go up to my friends and say “so, who would like to join me on the path to self-distruction?” and they’d say “andrea, if you’ve broken a bone yet, please tell us. don’t try to be all tough. you’ve landed in so many twisted ways from that ramp already. we aren’t gonna help you kill yourself.” to which i would say “not KILL…severely injure.” lol. in the end, i managed to force two of my friends to come off the ramp with me. the rest of time i would go off the ramp on my own (boring) and then i’d go down the hill standing on my sled. not the smartest thing in the world, but definetly fun. actually, when i first started doing that, my friend said “oh my gosh, andrea, i thought you were SMART!” to which i said “i AM smart, it just so happens that i’m on the path to self distruction.” yeah. anyways, so yeah. i’m absolutely fine though. didn’t get too hurt, lol.

  173. Andrea-la: please,please,please don’t kill yourself(even on accident)!!!! i would freak out.=D okay trying 2 think good things!!! ummmm…..books, books,books,christmas,new books!!! i m feelin better, how about u?? books always cheer me up!!(i know i m pretty weird, when it comes 2 books that is)

  174. i like sledding i m just a little up-tight& maybe slightly a worry-wart, but i have reasons.well……… maybe i don’t have reasons, but i m trying 2 not worry so much as my newyears resolution.

  175. i’m feeling sadder than before. i almost totally lost it today sledding with my friends. it’s hard…i almost just started crying for no reason. and i’ll try not to get myself into a bigger mess than i’m in now….then again, beating this mess is hard, so i guess i’ll just try to stay out of trouble.

  177. i’m way past sad. i’m depressed right now. i almost just broke down and cried in front of my friends. they all want to know what’s wrong with me. WELL WHAT IF NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME???? WHAT IF SOMETHING IS RIGHT WITH ME????? or maybe i’m simply not okay right now.

  178. Andrea-la, are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? Keeping stuff bottled up isn’t good, I know from experience. And I’m a hypocrite for saying it I admit, cuz I don’t talk about almost anything that’s bothering me. And I understand you not wanting to talk about it on here cuz we don’t know you, but maybe one of your friends?

  179. if i were to tell my friends, they’d hate me. get it? well, not hate me, but definetly start telling me stuff that i don’t want to or need to hear. i don’t want to or need to be preached at right now. get it?

  180. just 2 b off topic and random i have an issue that needs 2 b adressed. this girl in my school her name is Becca &i m beyond convinced that she has an all-the-boys-like-you fairy. example: all the boys gawk at her durring every class while i sit there and roll my eyes in annoyment. she has friends of course because everybody knows if u hand out w/Becca all the boys will like u. i tried it in 3rd grade and it worked, but back then i had no intrest in boys…..i wanted 2 c her house. i had heard rumors it was big& wanted 2 c it in person. another example is that Keri has a major crush on this guy(which she denies) named mike. when he is around Becca he totally ignores poor Keri, but when she talks 2 him w/Becca not there she says he is soooo nice. i think he likes her, but @school doesn’t act like it because of stupid bogus Becca

  181. Okay Andrea-la. Hm, Ashley-wa what’s Becca act like and like present herself? Excuse my language but does she act like a slut or something and flirt constantly with the guys?

  182. Cuz if she is, I know lots of girls like that at my school. It’s kind of disturbing actually. My friends and I just ignore them and don’t associate with them. You just have to find the guy that sees past the nonsense…ya know what I mean?

  183. i just told two of my friends about my…issues. one of them started freaking out on me, and the other was just “wow….that’s deep.”. either way, neither of them hate me, as far as i know. well, one is angry, but says that she doesn’t hate me. but really, they aren’t gonna treat me like me anymore. and that sucks. and now the other one is gonna get all “jesus loves you” on me and just BLEH! i can’t TAKE this.

  185. well, my friend is now asking me hard questions, and the other thinks that i’ve gone crazy. and not in a good way. they just don’t get what i’m going through. hopefully, they never will.

  186. this sounds really serious Andrea-la. i want 2 help u as much as i can. i hate seeing people sad. it makes me sad and nervous 4 u . i don’t know how u feel but i always try 2 look on the positive side of things and it ALWAYS works. whenever i feel sad i talk 2 my mom, but if she can’t help me i fix it myself. u seem always busy w/stuff, so my advice 2 u is 2 take your life 1 day @a time. u only have 1 life on earth so make it a good one. try 2 always look on the bright side even in the toughest situations. remember people do care about u and want u 2 feel happy. and never kill yourself over something other people have been through b4. don’t let the ocean of life drag u under. don’t give up. i belive in u, i think u can get over this and i hope ur friends do2. ahhhhh!!!! u r really making me nervous no joke. this took me like 7 minutes 2 type because my hands r shaking like crazy.=D smile, please(like u mean it)

  187. BRIGHT SIDE? Oh, are you gonna get me to start being happy-go-lucky and say the quote “Darkness is only a speck in the light”? cuz really, if you need me to, i’ll tell you what’s wrong. and i’m sorry i’m making you nervous. really. but you can’t understand what i’m going through. i don’t need anyone else throwing the book at me. and by “the book” i mean the Bible. really. so here, i’ll smile ๐Ÿ™‚ . there. now just understand that right now i’m very unsure of myself.

  189. look, here it goes, i’ll tell you peoples what i’m going through. don’t judge me, don’t think i’m a screw up. don’t hate me, and don’t think that i’m not a good person still. just take this into some consideration. okay, so i used to be a Christian, remember? okay, USED to. as in, about a month ago i started questioning God’s existence. I looked into it and have discovered that, hey, God probably doesn’t exist. so now life basically sucks and has no meaning and i don’t believe in God anymore and so yeah. so right now i’m trying to find out if God is real, even though i’m pretty sure at this point that he’s not.

  191. Okay, I’m not going to judge you. You just find out what you believe and go with it. I have a feeling you know what I hope you choose to believe, but that shouldn’t effect your decision. And I know it won’t, but okay. Like I said, life sucks. I’ve been through hell this year, so I’m not gonna judge, everyone questions sometimes.

  192. Hey, Andrea-la, don’t feel bad. God might just not exist the way most people believe. That doesn’t mean there isn’t anything to live for. Besides, not everything Christians believe is necessarily true. Same goes for Atheists; even Darwin believed in God. Just know that you can believe in something that you feel is right and don’t listen to what any religion tells you.

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  195. Besides, God is like Love. It doesn’t really exist, and you can’t see it or touch it. That doesn’t mean you can’t see its result. God is the same. He isn’t a person, a puppet master in the sky, dark matter, or gravity. I’m not even sure he’s a “he.” You just know that this whole existence we live in isn’t a coincidence.

    And if there is a god, I strongly believe that our faith, devotion, and prayers don’t matter to him, just as our religious beliefs or convictions on gay marriage or creationism don’t either. It’s your life, just go with it.

    I don’t judge people based on their religious beliefs unless they go around trying to force them on others, which you are not doing. In fact, you’re doing just the opposite. You know that you really don’t need any of us to tell you what to think.

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  197. TZ: me? happy? that i laugh at. and choice? i’m still in the forest, my friend, still in the forest.
    Audrey-Sensei: honestly, at this point if another one of my friends tells me anything along the lines of ‘Jesus loves you’ i will scream. loud and hard. i don’t need people telling me what to think. i don’t WANT people telling me what to think. and because of that, i don’t tell other people what to think.

  198. It’s not something I can explain, it’d take a lifetime. And I’m sure if I tried to, I’d end up trying to convince you not to stop believing, but I don’t want to do that so I won’t.

  199. Audrey-Sensei: definitions that i’m using. God-> as in God from the Bible. Father, Son, Holy Spiret, all that. “In beginning was the word and the word was God.” all that crap.
    Exist-> is real.

  201. well, the way I see it, the bible is crap, written to teach a lesson but translated multiple times and misinterpreted by most people, so it’s pretty stupid to quote it.

  203. OMG!!!! i will totally try not 2 get all Jesus-ish on u but, OMG!!!! u know what i have felt like that b4 belive it or not. last year actually and some days this year. whenever i do doubt God i listen 2 this story:(what u r about 2 hear is real, no lies. my great grandma never lies) so on the day my cousin Nicole was born my grandma Ellie(great grandma) was in the hospital cause she was very sick. she was dying, then she did. they brought her back 2 life because she wanted 2 c Nicole. when she was talking 2 my grandma and said she wouldn’t mind dyin now. my grandma thought that was strange until grandma Ellie told her what she saw &heard. she saw everybody she loved that died and felt happy inside and warm and loved. it is a feeling she will probably never forget& its those little things and everyday things that strengthen our faith. seeing isn’t always beliving. that’s why we have Faith. u belive i m here right? u can’t c me, but i m here.=D

  204. okay, from what i’ve read from my research by reading tons and tons of books, it’s proven fact that the gospels are true, that Acts is true because we can trust Luke to tell the truth because he also wrote “Luke” and it’s reliable. We could still come to the conclusion that Jesus existed from other texts. So those five books of the Bible are true. Well, accurate, at least.

  205. Come on, Tally&Zane, have you ever read the book of proverbs? “A wise man speaks words of wisdom, while a fool speaks foolishness” I could have told you that! I guess your heart is in the right place, but I guess I’m a little bitter, because I live in California and had to endure our recent election results.

  206. Of course the New Testament is true, most of it is facts and first hand accounts, or at least parables. But most of the Old Testament? Adam and Eve? Noah’s Ark? Even our priest at church says that stuff didn’t actually happen.

  209. Yes I’ve read it. I live in California. I’m Christian but I have absolutely no problem with gay people or gay rights. My Uncle is gay also, and I have a friend who is. Not ALL Christians are like that. Just cuz I am, doesn’t mean I can’t be understanding. And I think that’s what you’re talking about, prop 8 right? If not, let me know.

  210. Audrey-Sensei: yeah. the way i used to think of it is that the old testament is all metaphors, cuz parables are like metaphors, so if Jesus uses parables, God would use metaphors….i don’t know. i’m pretty sure that most of the Old Testament isn’t true.

  211. Tally&Zane: Yes, that was exactly what I was talking about. That and Proposition 4. I’m technically Christian, too, seeing as I was baptized Catholic and sometimes go to church. The very idea of people trying to force Christianity on others (and I’m not saying that’s you) from the time of missionaries, compulsory religion, mormons knocking on our doors, and that kid in my english class making fun of Greek mythology because it was “Completely impossible, whereas the bible is factual” kind of epitomized in that one ballot that wrecked religion in my views. People should believe what they want and do what they want, because it isn’t going to hurt any of the other Christians out there. Because no one can learn that, it makes the very points they argue invalid. How can we “Love thy neighbor” if we can’t allow them the same rights as us, or (in the more literal sense of the phrase) shun their neighbors across the street for putting up a “Love is never wrong” in their window?

  213. at this point, i simply think that the Bible is a good guidline for life, but wont lead to more life. as in, the rules are good, and Jesus was a great teacher, but God isn’t real and i’m gonna have to learn to live with that.

  216. I don’t think you’re a Christian unless you believe it and actually want to be. You could be baptized, be like from a family of preachers and missionaries, but if your heart’s not in it, what’s the point? What’s prop 4? I don’t really keep up with politics all too much. It just doesn’t appeal to me. You can force somebody to do something with laws, and force them to accept things in society, but will they ever really? I hate people. They’re horrible and stubborn and hypocritical. So I don’t think laws can ever actually give people their deserved rights. Things just don’t work that way.

  220. Audrey-Sensei, you asked for it:
    Rainbows: Water and light. duh.
    Love: chemicals bouncing in brain.
    Yosemite: i don’t know, but i could find out if i wanted to.

    TZ: I kinda hate myself. that wouldn’t work for me.

  222. I know all that, Andrea-la, I passed second grade! Those are all according to the rules of the Universe. There has to be someone that makes up all these rules. Just like there has to be a reason you exist. Even if it’s a seemingly small and insignificant one. Stop feeling so random. If you can’t believe in a religion or in yourself, you need to be able to believe in something. Like a reason you’re here.

  223. (AND I’m not trying to convince you there is a god. Like in the bible. I’m just trying to convince you that the world is full of miracles. Not just science. And you, me, Ashley-wa, and Tally&Zane, are all one of those miracles)

  225. okay, there is no REAL reason why people are here, so you can make some up. there’s eight, and i found them on the internet and i think that i sums things up nicely:
    1. No point. Life is pointless, and that’s all.
    2. The point of life is in yourself. The goal of life is to develop yourself, and to make myself better.
    3. The point of life is in values (moral or real). The point of life is to get those values (could be to earn lots of money, or to always make sure good triumphs, as long as it’s a value).
    4. The point of life is to achieve goals. You have some goal in life, and you spend your life heading to it – or you live your life setting more and more goals.
    5. Point in other (people). The point of life is to help others, or to make their life worth something.
    6. Point in nature. The point of life is to keep with nature, to understand it and help it, and be helped by it in turn.
    7. The point of life is in searching for the point in life.
    8. The point of life is in God.

    so yeah. those are purposes of life. i’m still just trying to just get over the fact that god doesn’t exist…..this just isn’t easy for me…..

  226. Maybe that’s the reason we shouldn’t believe in a God in, so that when we decide that there isn’t once, it isn’t such a blow. I believe in all those reasons except 1 and 8. I hope you can find your own belief in life. Don’t be so hard on yourself. My brother wants the computer now, and my friends are coming over, so I have to go, but I really hope you feel better.

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  227. I have a theory. Bear with me please. I think you’re in a slump Andrea-la. It’s like a mind thing. You keep thinking about how confused you are and how much you don’t know. But like, this is how it works for me. I don’t know if it works for anybody else though, cuz everyone’s different. If I’m feeling particularily upset, say some a holes are starting to get to me, then I just TELL MYSELF I don’t care. I say in my head, Guess what? You don’t care, cuz it’s not important. I don’t cry anymore either. If I feel like I’m going to cry, I reason with myself, and convince myself it’s not worth it. It’s worked for 6 months, since I’ve needed it. It’s like a kind of psychology.

  229. I don’t think there is one point in life. You love math Andrea-la, so think of it like, life is like a line. There’s an infinite number of points along it. Why do you have to try and single out one?

  230. TZ: All my life i believed in God. God was the only one who didn’t ditch me. I came to love music because of my love of God. God was my best friend and meant everything to me. God was what i thought was the meaning of life. So now, for me, feeling as though there is no God out there, it makes me feel empty. I know that I care about this. This is hurting me more than you could ever imagine. I WANT to believe in God but I can’t. I feel as though I’m falling and about to crash. hmmm….maybe i’ll post some lyrics to a song i wrote….

  231. Post away. You were close to God Andrea-la, so close. Which is why I really don’t understand your reasoning when you say you’re sure he doesn’t exist, sure the bible isn’t true, sure about so many things that you were oppositely sure of before. What changed it all?

  232. TZ: I love math because there is only ever one right answer. Well, usually anyways. But the point is, I love math because it is logical and makes sense, even when the rest of the world doesn’t. I can’t think of life like math because I know that there are major differences. And I always single stuff out, i don’t know why.

  233. lyrics….okay, the song has no title yet….
    i’m slipping and falling,
    with nothing to hold onto,
    the tree branch is breaking,
    the waves are coming in,
    apparently the thin ice,
    is ice no more.
    so i’m falling, falling, falling.
    i could have turned back,
    but i was too stubborn,
    i could have fixed this,
    but i just didn’t want to,
    so now the thin ice,
    is no longer ice at all,
    so i’m falling falling falling,
    to nowhere.

    so here i am,
    falling
    but why isn’t God catching me?
    so here i am,
    failing
    but why isn’t God helping me?
    so here i am,
    searching
    but where is God,
    to catch me when i fall?
    to catch me when i fall.

    i’m jumping off my iceberg,
    hoping that the water isn’t too cold,
    that reality wont hurt me,
    that i’ll just simply survive,
    cuz now the thin ice,
    is ice no longer,
    so i’m falling falling falling,
    to nowhere.

    where’s God when I need Him most?
    where’s God when I’m just letting go?
    so now i know the truth,
    that God’s either not real,
    or doesn’t care ’bout me.
    but either way, i don’t wanna follow Him.
    He was my thin ice,
    now melted,
    He’s not here anymore,
    and maybe never was.
    as it turns out,
    imaginary doesn’t determin reality

    turns out, He’s not here,
    to catch me when i fall,
    turns out, when i fall,
    i’ll simply fall.
    fall.
    fall,
    to nowhere.

    and questions is what changed it all. questions and more questions.

  234. bleh….i forgot to insert what part was the chorus and stuff:

    i’m slipping and falling,
    with nothing to hold onto,
    the tree branch is breaking,
    the waves are coming in,
    apparently the thin ice,
    is ice no more.
    so i’m falling, falling, falling.
    i could have turned back,
    but i was too stubborn,
    i could have fixed this,
    but i just didn’t want to,
    so now the thin ice,
    is no longer ice at all,
    so i’m falling falling falling,
    to nowhere.
    >chorusrepeat chorusrepeat chorus <
    turns out, He’s not here,
    to catch me when i fall,
    turns out, when i fall,
    i’ll simply fall.
    fall.
    fall,
    to nowhere.

  236. That’s a pretty song. But personally, I say Screw logic. I don’t need it, but I guess you do. I’ve never been a fan of math because there’s only one answer. I like making new answers, solving things my own way. Different ways. That’s just who I am.

  237. i love solving things different ways too. in the past, i’ve managed to get “interesting” answers in math class. answers that weren’t what the teacher wanted, but still not wrong. i love music cuz i can make stuff up.

  240. Do what you can do then. Sometimes I’m scared, I can’t think about going on even sometimes. Really unhappy-making things have been thrown at me lately. One after another. I stick with my gut though, my initial way of thinking, and I still believe.

  241. trust me, the past month has been hell for me. i used to love God so much…now i don’t think he’s real. i just wish i knew what the heck HAPPENED to me.

  243. i’ve been talking to my Bible teacher from last year about this. i’ll talk to him again once school starts up (my school is a private Christian school, meaning that I can talk to teachers about this and blah, blah, blah). maybe my bible teacher can help me, maybe not. i don’t know.

  245. yeah. i really trust my Bible teacher. and i’m reading a few books right now, trying to figure this out. but right now, i’m pretty sure that God isn’t real, but i’m even more sure that i wish he were.

  247. yeah. my Bible teacher from last year who i’ve talked to about this is really just the type of guy who you just trust. i don’t know why, but i trust him. maybe it helps that he’s also my close friend’s dad, but really, i don’t think that has anything to do with why i trust him. he recomended that i read “Case For Faith”by Lee Storbel. so i’m reading that too. i’m also reading “Case For Christ” and “Case For A Creator”. so yeah. it’s cool…a bunch of proof of God’s existence. i don’t believe it, but i’d like to think that other people can. i wish i could just believe in God like i used to.

  249. lol. i’m gonna leave now, i guess….i’m just gonna make some tea, listen to music, and maybe even read the Bible. i’m feeling inspired to fix this, lol. so bye.

  254. Well, that’s really cool!! What app is it?? Wait, don’t you have it copyrighted?? Isn’t that illegal?? (Sorry so many questions)

  255. Totally unrelated.
    I saw a sign today for Ayala’s Restaurant. There wasn’t a dash, and the food was Mexican (I probably would have screamed if it was Japanese), but I thought it was great.

    Anyway, I really hate the iPhone.

  257. Wow, that’s so awesome! And flattering. Even though I’m one of the old-fashioned people who actually like real books.

  259. going 2 the mall!!!! this time 2 shop!!!! b back later. bye!!!!=D hope everybody feels happy 2day because i am.=D even though i should b doing hw i don’t want 2. it will probably get done Sunday night. =D bye,bye!!!!!

  260. I guessed I’ve missed alot, huh.

    I’m glad to see you talking things out Andrea-la, because actually I’m experiencing the same things right now. Confusion over whether I believe there is a God. Confusion about another thing that I wouldn’t mind talking about with my friends, but was afraid what my friends would think if I told them.

    I was actually thinking about this yesterday as I was reading about FSM (Flying Spaghetti Monster, if you don’t know. It’s a satirical hoax.) I wasn’t raised a Christian. Some of my family members are, some of my family members are freethinkers, my mother is a buddhist, my ex- and a friend at dance is muslim and my best friend is hindu. My parents raised me without religion so that I can have a choice in what I want to believe in, and not force something down my throat as a child.

    However, I attended a Methodist primary school. (Because of some education policy that stated people living closer to the school gets higher priority in enlisting.) And I really want to believe that there is a God up there, watching over us, but I don’t. It doesn’t help that I jumped to a science school and think about all the differences. Did someone create us? Did we evolve? All very brain-hurting thoughts right there.

    Right now, what I know I believe in is Science. And Goodness. The only other thing I have learnt from the Bible and other devotions and chapel I have been forced to sit through is in Goodness and Righteouness and Morality and things like that. So for now I *think* I am comfortable with there not being a guiding hand up there. I’m not sure, but let’s try to keep a postitive out look here.

    No matter how bleak the sky may be,
    how the snow storm ravges the town.
    When the sky is ablaze in ash and smoke.
    I still think it’s beautiful;
    A dead, empty, wild and picturesque beauty.

  261. that really makes me think,
    im a raised Chiristian and i has just always been told there is a God so i’ve just always tought that.and i still do. but the other day we started to talk about religion, and my friend was obviously uncomorabital(i totally need to learn how to spell) and she said she didnt liek talking abou that caose she “doest like wasteing her time thinking about that kinda stuff”. she basicly doesnt like thinking about how earth was created and whats gonna happen when she dies. we were all shocked, i mean at least u could think about it(like u guys r) and belive in something but she just doeant even like to think about it.

    so im gonna keep inviteing her to church and her twin sounds intrested so ill invite her and maybe she can convince the other girl…

    ok, im done rambling now…

  262. Eva-la: I was raised Christian. I’m not Christian anymore. I don’t think that you should pressure your friend to come to church with you. It’s not fun to be told to believe something when you don’t want to.
    Trish-la: We have oh so much in common, except that I come from a Christian family and have gone to church almost every Sunday of my entire life.

  263. OOhhh I have an itouch! ๐Ÿ™‚ exciting! lol but it probably costs money. I have this little policy about not buying apps if they aren’t free… Oh well.
    I read “How to ditch your fairy” yesterday. I loved it because it was more of the same kind of thing as uglies (kind of) and it had the same slang sometimes. Like littlies and stuff. But I thought it was really neat how Steffi and David and Scott all have the little scar across their left eyebrows. ๐Ÿ™‚ You and your wife should put the main male character as always having that scar. it would be cool!

    I lovee Uglies so much, and I even dream about it which is really pathetic. But I wish there was a movie!

  264. Oh, and to contribute to the religion debate… I’ve thought about it a lot because it’s really hard to believe that there really is God up there, because he doesn’t make himself know very obviously, but for me, I know that there’s something, and that’s all I need to know. I mean, I have faith that God is up there knowing what he’s doing, and I feel like as a human, I don’t need to completely understand what goes on, but I should at least trust that everything will be okay. I feel God. I know he’s up there. I just hate it when people try to put God into words. I feel like some people worship the bible rather than having an actual relationship with God.

    I think that God and love are so inextricably intertwined that they are practically the same thing. I have my doubts about some things the bible says, but I still trust in God and love him SO much. He’s my rock, and He’s the reason I stay strong. I don’t really believe in Satan or Hell, and maybe I’m wrong, but it’s just what I believe. If there is a hell, I think that at any time, people in hell can accept God into their hearts and go to heaven. People say that that isn’t fair because people made their choice in their human life, but it says in the bible that humans aren’t perfect, so it doesn’t make sense to me that our eternal lives are necessarily based only on what we do in our human lives. I think that eventually after everyone dies, they will learn the truth, and have an opportunity to change their mind about whether or not God exists, and if they truely do want to have a relationship with God when they are in hell, I believe that you CAN get out of hell because God’s love is stronger than any amount of hate.

    I think that nothing really matters in the world except love, and that’s all we really need, and all love comes from God.

  266. Hannah-la: you sound a heck of a lot like i used to and it’s frightening. not even kidding. you sound EXACTLY like i did about a month ago. and yeah, i guess i know what you mean about people bringing god into words….kinda like the song “Three Minute Song”by Josh Wilson. ya know? but really, at the moment, i don’t think that god’s up there. i have this book, “Promises For A Jesus Freak”, with all the Bible verses that have god’s promises in them. yeah. let’s just say that if i thought god were real, he woulda gotten SO yelled at by me right then cuz he didn’t keep his promises. he said he would protect me. didn’t happen. he said that he would rescue me in times of trouble. nope. he said that he would answer me. well, then why is it just so quiet? so right now, i’m pretty sure that god isn’t real and that if he is, he sure doesn’t love me. more like wants to ruin my life. anyways, science tells me what i need to know, so for now, that’s what i’m going with. maybe someday i’ll give this more thought, maybe someday i’ll think that god’s real, but for now, i’m just trying to deal with the fact that he probably isn’t.

  267. Hey, maybe the reason you’re hurting so much right now is because you focused your life so much on one thing, and–real or not–you shouldn’t really do that with anything, because nothing in life is dependable.

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  269. Didn’t that ever strike you as strange? That you loved some almighty entity. I guess it must have made sense because you went to a Christian school and all, but the sooner you get through this the better. Maybe you can find a religion that you *can* believe in.

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  270. hey, i c we’ve been disgussing religion, so as usual i will b off topic. this is such a funny story& 2day is my lucky day. so i was @the mall w/my mom& as soon as we pull into the parking lot a front row spot opens up(how doos)!!!! this is the funny part: when i walk in a mall i walk w/confidence straight 2 my destination w/out making eye contact w/anybody. so all f a sudden my mom was like “hey, i think that guy was checking u out.” then i said 2 myself”what did this guy look like?”, “was he cute?” 2bad i didn’t notice. then this girl said “cute purse” i said thanks even though i didn’t know her. then this girl i didn’t know liked me asked me 2 go 2 her house. so i went &we watched Baby Mama, Ms.Congeniality(idk how 2 spell it)& Ms.Congeneality2. we also played Clue& talked 4about an hour. her name is Lexi& i think she likes me now. she said we should hang out more!!!! that was my ah-mazing day!!!! how was yours??=D

  272. Okay, it took FOREVER to scroll down here, and you made me, not angry exactly, but annoyed. Our life isn’t pointless. Pretties’ lives however… Scott-la’s life wasn’t pointless, nor his wive’s and many other great authors’. They taught us things through word play and what not, made us wait and dig through meaning.

    Here’s what I have so far…

    Ashley-wa: No, I’ve never been to Canada, only it sounds FAWESOME. Scotland sounds vastly cool! (except men in kilts…)
    Steffi was right, an all-boys-will-like-you fairy is un-fair! Even if it only seems like she has a fairy. I figure, if a guy acts like that, then he isn’t worth the time…

    Andrea-la: Standing? WHILE sledding? it’s like you’ve invented a new sport…a new dangerous sport..which makes it so much better!
    If you’re having problems, and you don’t want to talk about them but they need to be adressed, start another blog on your current blog, set it to private and just blog your little heart out. That way there it’s out, and when you become super famous and everyone thinks you’re perfect, you’ll have a half way written biography (autobiography?).

    That’s why it sucks telling people your problems, because it feels like everything they say and do is influenced by what you told them. Everyone has problems. Especially those ‘hut’ girls..

    this sounds really serious Andrea-la. i want 2 help u as much as i can. i hate seeing people sad. it makes me sad and nervous 4 u . i donรขโ‚ฌโ„ขt know how u feel but i always try 2 look on the positive side of things and it ALWAYS works. whenever i feel sad i talk 2 my mom, but if she canรขโ‚ฌโ„ขt help me i fix it myself. u seem always busy w/stuff, so my advice 2 u is 2 take your life 1 day @a time. u only have 1 life on earth so make it a good one. try 2 always look on the bright side even in the toughest situations. remember people do care about u and want u 2 feel happy. and never kill yourself over something other people have been through b4. donรขโ‚ฌโ„ขt let the ocean of life drag u under. donรขโ‚ฌโ„ขt give up. i belive in u, i think u can get over this and i hope ur friends do2. ahhhhh!!!! u r really making me nervous no joke. this took me like 7 minutes 2 type because my hands r shaking like crazy.=D smile, please(like u mean it) Ashley-wa is completely right. Like an alcohalic, don’t look at the big picture, or 2009, look up close with a magnifying glass here and now.

    (okay, so this turned into an essay, I’m sorry) Hey, so what if gods not real? Don’t waste your life worrying. I used to like all of the time, and I’m agnostic now. Like, sure he tests you (if hes real) and he’s got to understand that, being a teen is hard, and it raises questions. If he is real and can read your mind then he’ll understand (I hope he can’t read minds..erk) But, maybe you used to do good things and help people with the pantry or whatever. you did it for him but all that matters is that you did/do it. Even for yourself to feel good.

    (instead of putting their whole comment on here, I’m just including the number..) 195 Audrey-Sensei is right, Andrea, because you’ve just got to live your life, because that’s whats most important to everyone. I mean, here we are, a bunch of teenagers, trying to help you out. We live in America, Singapore–all over the world. You’re important and enlightening, even though we’ve never met.

    Tally&Zane: Every is like that at my school (the ‘s’ word rhyming with ‘hut’) except my friends, and uber loosers. (who are also my friends.) even some of the uber losers are like that.

  273. Trish-la: Science is constantly changing, and some how, it makes it more stable. Like the fact that it isn’t written in stone makes it justifiable.

    Ashley-wa: I love love love sales!! And cute things on sale!

  274. I’m really torn as to what to do…I feel like there’s something I can say to help you Andrea-la…I’m pretty sure there is. I even typed it out already on here, it’s kinda long. I’m not sure if I’m willing to say it though. There’s things in it that I haven’t even told any of my close friends. But I’m afraid…what if I don’t say it and I could have helped? I’m not quite sure you want help though. Do you? If you say you do, then I’ll post it. Jay-wa, I agree with everything you said too by the way.

  275. Ashley-wa: Do you normally hang out at random people’s houses? Because if some one I didn’t know was like ‘Lets hang out!’ I would be like ‘NO I DO NOT WANT ANY OF YOUR GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!!’ which is probably why no one talks to me in the mall. With the guy thing, I would’ve looked, then do a totally obnoxious wink. And probably laugh and look mentally disabled…I’m not allowed in public.. ;P

    Tally&Zane: Thank you, and hey, you never know who you’ll help with your words…

    267 Audrey-Sensei–yes.

    Good night..(or morning, rather..erk)

    Andrea-la: I hope you feel better soon.

    Scott-la: *coughnewpost<3cough*

  277. Hello!!!!! I havnt been on the internet in a while. I guess Ive been busy.

    Okay so i am wondering…what are yalls New Year resolution?
    Mine is to eat healthier and stay fit. Oh, and read more (not that i dont read enough but i will get to my goal!!!!!).

  279. Wow. Two people in a row said I was right. That is unheard of. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Ashley-wa: I totally disagree with Jay-wa. It’s so sweet that a random girl would want to hang out with you. Branching out and making friends is the easiest thing in the world, and people are just too afraid to do it, except not you and Lexi.

    I loved Miss Congeniality, but I thought the sequel looked really bad.

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  280. i’m sorry about your predicament andrea-la…you sound like me…again…i’m not sure about him either. but i don’t think i ever really believed, i was brought up quasi-christian, i’ve only been to church a few times and that was with urgings from my friend. I believe that there’s something somewhere, but i don’t know if it is the definition of God. I’d like to believe in something, but i have no idea what i think about it. The funny thing is, it’s not really bothering me, it’s more like having a semi-annoying mosquito bite. The apathy that i feel about it is what bothers me.
    Have you ever read “are you there, god? it’s me, margaret”? it’s a pretty good book about a girl confused about religion.

  283. I agre with Tally&Zane all the way and I agree with Andrea-la in certain things but not all things.
    FYI the following is extremely personal I prefer on Tally&Zane , Andrea-la and Audrey-sensei to read it.

    Andrea-la : My best friend almost killed herself last year (keep in mind this is mind over matter and no I don’t believe in God nor does she) so to continue my story and she called me and told me her bf had just broken up with her her mother was still beating her and all her friends were backstabbing her eventually I convinced to wait things out and and see if life would take a turn for the better and it did there was still roughness in between but now her bf is great she ditched her backstabbing other friends and her mother has stopped beating her beacause of her new friends she made when she ditched her old ones.

    Now I’m not saying ‘Ditch your friends and hope things will get better’ no just wait things out and see if it get any less confusing and see if you feel any different about the God thing ok.

  287. hey!!!!! 2day is a crummy day. it is dark&looks depressing. which means its time 2 read or clean my room or do homework.

    Jay-wa:actually i’ve known who this girl was 4 like 3years! her sister is on my dad’s hockey team. she has never really taked 2 me tho, until i was @the ice rink no more like forced 2 go 2 the ice rink& was reading HTDYF when she came over 2 me &started talking 2me. this is a vastly serious question: who is your fav character in HTDYF??? my fav is Fiorenze. i think she is really nice& from the beginning i have felt bad 4 her cause all the other girls hate her 4her boy-attracting fairy. oh& thanks 4liking my comment thing!!!=D

    Audrey-sensi: yeah, the 1st Miss Congeniality was better than the second one.

  288. hi Eclipse!!!!! nobody really goes on durring the day, exept me sometimes when i have no life which is most days.=D

  289. personally i don’t care which religion u r or which God u belive in. actually my mom’s side of the family is very strict Catholic including my mom. my dad’s side doesn’t even belive in God including my dad, but they r all good people &i think thats all that matters. if u r a good person in life& help out the poor and do many good things, but don’t belive in God that doesn’t mean u r going 2 hell.=D

  290. Hello, it does seem like we have form a beautiful community helping each other out, bound by the love of one man’s books. This is sounding more awesome each time I think of it.

    Andrea-la: I’m not sure what your exact mood is right now; whether you are still in a depressed state-of-mind, if you are still worried about what your friends will think of you, confused about whether it is right or wrong to believe that God doesn’t exist. Or maybe all of the above. Because of that, I don’t know the exact words to comfort you.

    What I want you to know is that your grief shall pass and there will be clearer times ahead, for grieve always passes. Like the loss of a lover, a kin, a friend or a precious pet, there could still be a part that pangs when you think of it; but even then, as you decide that you no longer believe in God, there will be joyous memories that remain. Most of the things that you have learnt about in church will still ring true. That showing kindness and compassion, living with integrity is the best way to live your life, bringing light into the darkness of other people’s life. Just as we are trying our best to help you.

    Even though we do not know each other in real life, I think that I can safely speak for each of us here that we want to lend you a helping hand and that you can count on us to be here if you need it, regardless of timezones. (Although it might take a while). Knowing that you need help is already a step foward and out of the darkness clouding you.

    Jay-wa: [re: #273] Yes, that’s why I like science. It’s progress, it changes. When one explanation proves wrong, another one can emerge. Very beautiful thing, it is. Hopefully, though, the progress will be fast enough for us all to own a hoverboard in our lifetime. Heh.

    Ashley-wa: So glad to know you actually know the girl. Talking to complete strangers can sometimes scare me. Who knows what kind of danger you might get into… *shudder*

    Yes. new post, please, Scott-la! =D

  293. Trish-la:i think its beautiful2. 2have somebody 2 talk 2 and u know they can help u or try. i don’t talk 2 random people either. =D

  294. Wow… crazy stuff there my man. I just wish that i had an iphone because i would get the reading app just for the fact that Specials was used as the example…(because I’m awesome like that haha)
    (also as a side note because is one of those words you can use twice and feel like you’ve used it twenty times and then you tell yourself, ‘dang it! I need to expand my vocabulary because- crap! i used it again!’… haha i thought i’d share my inner turmoil involving that word which i shall not use again)

    CONGRATS SCOTT!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  295. Eclipse, sorry I didn’t see your posts earlier. I wasn’t feeling too great so I went to bed early…at like 10:30 pm, which is really early for me…
    Okay I’m gonna post it now…I don’t really care if you guys judge me. I think it’s human nature to do so, so judge away. And hey, maybe I need to be judged?

    You say that God hasn’t protected you or answered you or been there for you in your time of need, well I don’t know your situation, but maybe knowing what happened to me and that I still believe could possibly give you hope? I don’t know, this post could be more for me than you guys, it’s getting a lot of stuff off my chest. I had to get over a ton of crap, and I did it. I’m not trying to sound like I know everything or have it worse than you do. But I’m not joking when I say I know what it feels like to be hurt or feel unloved or hated. You wanna know what happened? Lots of things. It’s a really long list so I won’t put everything, just a few.
    -My Uncle died. Right before he was going to fly out for my 8th grade graduation. I was acting like a bratty little kid whining about him and the rest of my family coming. I didn’t want them all here, it would be embarassing. I wished and wished that something would happen so they wouldn’t come. I was hoping they’d just stay at home so they wouldn’t make a big deal over everything. My family always ends up overreacting and fawning over me for the littlest things and I don’t feel like I deserve it so it makes me uncomfortable. My Uncle had multiple heartattacks a few days later and passed away. Guess what? They didn’t come. I still blame myself.
    -A while back one of my best friends told us the news that she was diagnosed with brain cancer. It was horrible, I freaked out, all of us did. She told practically everyone about it. Everyone felt sorry for her and was worried about her. I looked up to her because of how she handled it. She was really calm, and okay with it and kept composure. She said she started radiation and everything and actually told me what it was like. We made cards and got everybody to sign them and gave her presents and stuck with her. Recently I found out it was all a lie and she’s healthier than ever. I feel like I must have been a really awful friend to not be able to tell when she’s lying to my face. Spinning little stories so people would like her, and I wasn’t there for her. I didn’t even notice that she was dealing with trouble, thinking that nobody cared about her anymore. She was feeling completely unloved. Now that everyone knows, nobody wants to talk to her. Only two of us do though, I spent 2 hours on the phone with her yesterday trying to explain that everything will be alright. I don’t feel like I should be her friend, she should blow me off like the others did to her. Because if I was good enough to be her friend, then I’d have been able to find a way to help in the first place. This mess wouldn’t have happened.
    -I got called into the office one day right after second period. I didn’t have any clue or idea as to what it was about because I never get in trouble. I went up there and the principal led me into his office and there were two ladies there with cps badges on. I was still oblivious to everything cuz I didn’t know anything about this really. The principal started talking about how I was an excellent student with good grades, straight As actually, and how he hoped this wouldn’t effect my learning. He wouldn’t get to the point so I had to ask him, What’s going on? That’s when the cps spoke up finally. Apparently my parents had been arrested. My parents who go to Church every Sunday, are involved in school things, that don’t drink or do drugs or anything of the sort. I certainly didn’t know what the hell was going on. So, I had to leave school in the back of a car with cps. That my friends was one of the worst times of my life I have to tell you. They took me to my older sister’s house. Who was crying at the time, confused too. And she has to try and stay strong for me and my little brother. I still didn’t get any answers then. Not for a week. Literally. My parents were in jail for a week. When they finally got out, I got the story. Long story short, They didn’t do ANYTHING. It was a terrible misunderstanding that they have to pay for. They took all their money, and their three cars. Left them with practically nothing. They still have to go to court. If they’re convicted, there’s a chance I won’t ever see them again. They broke my family. I still haven’t told my friends about it. I made a lame excuse about something, that I was surprised they believed.
    -My older brother was in the National Guard. I idolized him, he was my hero. I always always looked up to him for everything. We were always really close, never fought. I found out that I don’t even know him at all. Turns out he was on drugs. Nobody knew, but his fiancee. Who was also on drugs. My brother stopped, quit it, and was off them. His fiancee, the mother of their little 4 year old girl, couldn’t stop. Finally he flushed what was left of the pills down the toilet and told her he wasn’t giving her anymore money for them. Cuz he knew they were throwing their lives and their daughter’s life away. They were arguing about it, and she flipped out and ended up hurting herself. My brother said he wasn’t going to fight with her anymore, so he left so they could calm down. She called the cops on him when he was gone, and they arrested him for spousal abuse. He didn’t touch her. She fabricated a story. Of course the cops believed her though, they always believe a woman that seems hurt,and mind you, she’s a very talented actress. My brother couldn’t get out on bail because it was considered assault with a deadly weapon, cuz he’s in the army, that’s what his hands are considered since he’s trained in combat. I haven’t seen him since the middle of November, and neither has my neice. I lost my brother, she lost her Dad. The four year old little girl didn’t get to spend Christmas with her father. She probably thinks he’s gone forever agian. He had a tour of duty for 15 months in Iraq before and everytime I saw her I had to look at her sad little face and tell her I didn’t know when her Daddy was coming home. He won’t get out till February. I feel like there’s something I could have done, could have prevented.

    My family’s broken. When I go to my house now, it doesn’t feel like my home. Not anymore. So many things have happened, those are just a few big ones. I STILL believe in God though. Still know he’s out there, and he cares about me, and will take care of everything. It’s the little things, the little miracles that happen daily that keep me believing, even after all of that. He keeps me strong. You might just think I’m stupid for still believing, but I don’t think I am. I think I’m smart for it actually, but hey…It’s whatever you choose to believe. I’m not really sure how that could help anyone….Maybe it can show you that if you really truly want it, then you can have it. If you say you wish to believe, then you can, even after tons of things go wrong. You can’t see faith, or hope, it’s only there if you want it to be.

    ^Reaaaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyyyy long.

  296. Not to be rude, but are we going into that whole “do you believe in God” thing again because last time it was a mess. All because of that Golden Compass thing. I REALLY dont want to get into that.

  297. Um, no…sort of…but differently this time. It won’t be a mess Mom-I mean Bran-la! (I’m just kidding, you can metaphorically slap me if you want.) No, it’ll be quick this time I hope.

  298. Tally&Zane: Wow. Reading all of that truly brought tears to my eyes. Seeing what people go through is the most difficult part of life. Going through things personlly is hard too. I see now your point of saying you still believe. I have had many things happen to me and things that i have done and we all have! Not one person on this earth can say that they have done everything right. But i never punish myself, T&Z. What i have done, all the bad things even if small, make me who i am. Without those experiences, i wouldnt be myself. I wouldnt have my logic and experiance to say “Hey, that really isnt the best thing to do.” Even if its something my sister did, i learn from it. Thats part of life. Dont beat yourself down about your uncle or your brother, T&Z. It was your uncles time to go. God wanted him back. And God knows the truth about your brother, he wont let him suffer for what he didnt do. You had nothing to do with it. And i know forgiving yourself is hard. But moving on is what makes you a stronger person. To mourn over ones mistakes is not living. You have to see what youve done and say, “I’ll do better.” I know you can learn from everything because i did.

  301. Yeah, I understand…thankyou. I know, I shouldn’t. I just don’t want to blame anyone else. Probably my fatal flaw, always feeling like I should take the blow. Ha, yeah I get so mad when my friends call me that. lol.

  303. Well yeah, bad things happen. But good things happen too. It’s like a balance of scales sort of. I’m not depressed or anything about it all, if I was that’d just be a waste of my time. And I know how sweet time is. I still put on a smile and hang out with my friends, enjoy my life. I just look at things differently, yeah I know I’m weird. ๐Ÿ™‚

  304. T&Z: i agree! 1minute of being depressed is 1 minute in your life u will never get back. i always look on the positive side of things or try 2 find the humor in a sad situation.=D

  306. wow Tally&Zane
    nice to hear someone with such strong faith
    I haven’t been through much tragedy myself, but I’ve seen some, some of my closest friends have
    one of my best friends Noah… his brother committed suicide while in jail. Noah loved his brother with all his imperfections and it sent Noah into a mess… but he came above it and he is one of the strongest in faith people I know.

  307. &I believe God does exist…

    religion however, and the church, so messed up these days, it’s sad.

    but God, yes.

  308. Okay since you shared somthing Ill share somthing too. This has to do with the whole not wasting time and moving on thing.

    A while back my grandma died. I was really close to her. We spent a lot of time together, especially during the holidays. When she died i got really scared. I have had deaths in my family before but not from anyone that i was close to. So when she died it was a really big shock to me and i saw how it felt to REALLY loose someone. but like i said i got scared. I was afraid of death but at the same time…i was afraid to live. I didnt want to die. I didnt want someone to die and i started freaking. I would spend all night worrying and praying frantically saying, “Just keep us safe” and i would name people. If i had to leave my mom, i would bring somthing that she gave me like a stuffed animal and i would take a neckalce that i would carry as i said good-bye and hugged everyone. For some reaosn, having that as i said good-bye was like still having them if i wore the jewlery. Eventually i got sick of myself. I was tired of worrying. I was tired of being scared to sleep. I just wanted to let it all go. So i did. It wasnt easy though. I just told myself one day that my family knew i loved them. God knew i wanted to live. I was going to die someday, sometime but i was just going to let it happen. If a family member died, then they died. I would miss them dearly and mourn but i would remember the days that made life good with the person and let them rise to heaven. I would meet them one day again. Now i am soooo not saying i am not afarid of death anymore. It comes and goes a lot. Somedays im fine and somedays i worry a lot. I’m just that kind of person though. I worry.

  309. Julie-wa: I totally am with you. Religion and stuff to me is so “You believe this and this.” And I’m going, “yeah well what if i DONT believe that.” To me, religion is so this this this this, all layed out. I like to believe whatever i want.

  311. I’m sorry bout your grandmother, Bran-la. Yeah, things happen, but I think it makes us who we are, a little part at least. It helps you see things in a new light. I worry a lot too, I think almost everybody does…

  312. Yeah. Its hard not to worry.

    This day went by SO fast! I cant believe its going to be over soon. Im not ready to go back to school. I only have a few more days!!! AH!

    Oo. Its almost 2009. At first i put 2002. Haha. I hope not!

  313. eep
    I’m 16 today!
    Brought me back to Uglies and Tally and everything.
    I decided if my life was that exciting, I would be perfectly happy haha.
    Instead, its just a normal day. Blah.

  316. Haha thanks ๐Ÿ™‚
    that would for sure be the coolest birthday present if someone just came and kidnapped me and made me a pretty

  318. Tally & Zane: That was powerful. That’s the only word i think i can use to describe it. I was gonna say something else, but i don’t have any idea what it was.
    Best wishes on your predicament, Andrea-la.
    Happy Birthday Veronica! Sixteen is my next birthday…in 5 months. ๐Ÿ˜›

  319. yeah, on the subject of keeping a positive attitude, I always defer to this quote “Maintaining a positive attitude won’t solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”

    An extra for now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  320. Audrey-Sensei: Hehe, that quote was pretty funny. Where’d you hear it???

    Happy birthday, Veronica-la. When you say it’d be cool to be a pretty, you mean without the lesions, right???

    Click my name, please. I love it when people read my blog, I love it even more when they comment on it. ๐Ÿ˜€

  323. well 5 months isnt too far Haley, haha the waiting will be worth it hopefully :]

    and definitely Dahlia, no lesions
    actually I’d rather be a special

  324. Happy Birthday Veronica-la! I’ll be sixteen in like… two years. But still…

    What I find really inspiring about this whole thing is that we are all coming out and sharing stuff… It just feels so, warm and nice and fuzzy and bubbly… even if it is sad situations that we are sharing. IDK. All I can say is that this is so… inspiring. I am at a lost of words. That’s how amazing it is.

  325. (308)
    Bran-la : gosh that post brought tears to my eyes cause that is EXACTLY how i use to feel i used to worry so much and now i just don’t.thank you for putting that in words i never could

    oh yea I’m writing a book and as soon as i’m done with the first chapter i’ll post. k ?

  328. Eclipse: Is always good to know you arent alone, isnt it? I have never really talked about that time with people before. When i said somthing about around my mom she had no clue that ever happened. Its good to know what i have gone through can be related to in some way. Its comforting.

  331. awesome!
    it would be nice if the whole series were available [i could only find specials and extras in the app store], but it’s so awesome that they’re there.
    way to go, scott!

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