Lint Is Not Your Friend

I have two events today here in beautiful Arizona. Details about them, and then I’ll tell you about our hotel-on-fire experience of three nights ago.

First, however, thanks to TourTron for putting me at the Biltmore, which is a gorgeous Frank Lloyd Wright-inspired hotel and spa. Not just inspired by him, he also consulted on the design. I love me some FLW.

Here are the event details:

Wednesday October 14th, 2:00PM
Chandler Public Library
22 South Delaware Street
Chandler, AZ 85225

Wednesday October 14th, 7:00PM
Changing Hands Bookstore
Location: 6428 South McClintock Drive
Tempe, AZ 85283

Alas, Sarah Rees Brennan has headed off to join Holy Black and Cassandra Clare in Mexico, so it’ll just be me.

Now for the fire in our Portland hotel:

It was about midnight, and a hideous whooping sound shattered my bedly ablutions. Then came an announcement to “stand by” while they determined the source of the alarm. So I was like, “Good, I don’t have to do anything.” But then I smelled smoke.

At this point, I was still hoping for an all-clear so I could go to bed. Touring is, after all, exhausting. (Touring buddy Sarah Rees Brennan and I had barely survived a 4:30AM pick-up the day before.) But the smoke smell was turning more chemically and weird, so finally I dressed and headed downstairs.

Saved: laptop and phone. Left behind: passport, chargers, and backup disk. I’d make a crappy refugee, I guess.

From the mezzanine full of pajama-clad fellow escapees, I called Sarah. She was still up in her room waffling. I told her about the firemen headed up the stairs past me, and sent here photographic proof:


Convinced of her peril, she decided to come down too. Note that she also brought her laptop and phone, and forgot her passport and chargers. (Hey, at least I had a coat.)

We then proceeded to post tweets, which is what one does in any emergency. I also got to follow up on an amusement earlier that day, when my publicist had reluctantly let me take a train alone. (Publicists never let authors escape in a strange city, because we’re not very clever about practical things.) I’d played a little jape on her, claiming for half a text message to have wound up in a distant borough. So now I could email her with the subject line “Hotel On Fire,” knowing she’d think I was a big liar. Hah! But I WASN’T LYING!

Oh, the fun we have.

Anyway, around 1AM they sounded the all-clear, and the fire turned out to have been towels in a dryer. So the morals of the story are:

1) Never cry wolf to your publicist. One day the wolves will really come.

2) Clean out those dryer filters. Lint is NOT your friend!

One more thing: All our fellow refugees in the lobby looked very bedraggled from being in bed. Now that’s an awesome etymology: “bed-raggled” = raggled from being in bed! (By way of full disclosure, I stole this from Brian Atterbury. But it occurred to me afresh that night.)

The tour continues. On Thursday I’ll be back in NYC briefly before heading to NJ, CT, and MA. See you soon, NYC peeps:

Thursday, October 15 7:00PM
Post-Apocalyptic Panel at Barnes & Noble
Location: 1280 Lexington Avenue (at 86th Street)
New York, NY 10028

Click here for all tour details.

Click here to buy Leviathan.

ALSO: My lovely wife Justine Larbalestier will be discussing her amazing book Liar in Larchmont, NY on Friday night.

Justine Larbalestier
Friday, 16 October, 7:00 pm:
Voracious Reader
1997 Palmer Ave

Larchmont, NY

She hopes to see you there!

49 thoughts on “Lint Is Not Your Friend

  1. Lace: Woah, you look all bed-raggled. Geddit?
    Lace: Yeah, like being bed-raggled, all raggled from being in bed.

    By the way, Scott-la, I have just finished watching ‘The Girl Who Leapt Through Time’ and I think that you should totally contact whoever made it to do the uglies series.

  2. ping to the all important Scott-la: At first I read the title and thought ‘Holy Crap what does this have to do with anything?’ When I was finished reading your adventure, I had all the more reason to say it. I guess all the cool YA authors have near death experiences after all. Future story line possibilities anyone? kay bye and glad to see that ur not dead! (but the picture of that weird guy in your passport is. HAHA!) Bad joke I know. PEACE OUT AND HAVE FUN! 😀

  3. scary fire!
    urg i wish i could see you! the chances of me flying up to NYC tonight aren’t likely
    stupid school

  4. *meant

    i got told off by my computer for posting comments to quickly! how rude!

  5. hehe ten!

    and the computer yells again! why so brain-missing?

    no i love my computer
    GO MAC!

    srry off topic
    need leviathan! why do i only have six dollars?

  6. i need to stop spending it all on books!
    i need money, or would anyone like to give me a copy?
    i feel bad not reading it yet!
    its been out for TWO WEEKS!

  7. oh yeah and i post over and over again cuz i’m bored
    ill stop now

  8. FLW rocks! WI’s got a ton of it, so I’ve sort of grown up with it.

    Sounds like fun . . hope you got caught up on your sleep after the dryer incident.

  9. Uhhh ok didnt mean to send that w. Anyways im sooo glad it wasn’t a 4real fire i would have been sooooooooooo upset if you had died, Scott-la!!!!!!

  10. ohmygoodness im so brain-missing hehe i didnt figure out what the lint had to do with anything until just now (which by the way is about twenty minutes after originally reading the post). heheheh so smart so smart

    -Lizzy-wa OUT! 😛

  11. ha ha funny story! Hey I saw Uglies on a book list, it said FOR MATURE READERS on it. Am I a mature reader? Do mature readers tell their brother that he’s a “truth-slanting waste of gravity” ? 🙂 🙂

  12. oh hehe jessica-la i just noticed your W. hehe i was like ‘way to make a point! now um… what would that be exactly?’ hehehe gotta love that submit button

    -Lizzy-wa OUT! 😉

  13. ping to team yoshi banana, i dont think people on here are very mature (no offense to mature peeps here) lol a truth slanting waste of gravity thats soooo funny!

  14. lol ya lizzy-wa, do you get on CHASINDMIDNIGHTWEREWOLVES (your blog) anymore?? cuz i clicked on it and it seems awesome!

  15. I was actually doing laundry today and cleaned a ton of lint out of the dryer before I used it. Already had to make one run down nine flights of stairs for a fire, really don’t want to repeat that (and the climb back up, oh god it’s the freaking stairway to heaven!).
    And whenever I hear about fire drills I always think about this passage from The Dragon Heir by Chinda Chima:
    “Students cruised by on skateboards, bikes, and rollerblades, wearing backpacks, headphones, and earbuds, wrapped in fleece blankets, carrying stuffed animals and cradling laptops. Many were still dressed in nightclothes under their coats; t-shirts and sweatpants, flip-flops or clogs. They looked like refugees from a country that favored audio technology, impractical footwear, and personal transportation.”

  16. Ping to Boss is now… changing her name to…umm…,
    What does Spagbol taste like? I’ve never actually had it. 🙂

    Ping to Lizzy-wa and Jessie-wa,
    Thanks for going on my blog! So happy-making! 🙂

    Ping to Scott-la,
    I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU IN BOSTON! I have a countdown marked on my calender! 🙂


  17. Ping to Team Yoshi Banana,
    It’s an awesome blog! I wanna have a surprise visit to my aunt in Boston when Scott-la’s gonna be there, but I cant cuz my mom said no. Well I live in CO.
    Ping to Boss…..,
    Lol thatz awesome, what does spagbol taste like??

  18. scary-making fire! yeah, i agree, lint SUCKS! It actually started a fire in these exaust tubes ( or whatever u call those things ) behind my dryer!

    Ping to boss…: u SHOULD change your name to spagbol! also, r u boss after that old dude in uglies who was going nuts over rusty magazines, or am i missing the point? wait… what DOES spagbol taste like? I’ve never had it. I was guessing that it was only popular in aussie-land or something.
    Ping to Team Yoshi Banana: yeah, we r SO mature ( not )! truth-slanting waste of gravity! Hilarious! now i have something else to call my brother instead of a clart-for-brains ( which i say a lot, surprisingly ).
    on a totally unrelated note: a middie came to my class today! we were interviewing veterans for veterans day and our last one was actually a Midshipmen! when i heard that i actually had to clap my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming ( this, unfortunatley, made me look like i was puking ). So there, people! I met a middie and u didn’t! Nyah! Yeah, i am definatley mature!
    well, i gotz to go! i’m re-reading city of bones today and i just got to the part where clary meets magnus bane! so funny! bye, people! have a bubbly ( and lint-less ) day!

  19. If I think up a good enough excuse for missing practice tonight, I will most definatly show up at Changing Hands, armed with my copies of Leviathan, Uglies, Pretties, Extras, and the Midnighters trilogy. Yes, I don’t have Specials. It’s pretty random.

  20. Ping to Alice-wa*,
    I think she’s Boss after special Shay in SPECIALS. Well it could be the old guy in UGLIES, but Shay was a bigger character.
    Ping to Jenn,
    Did you read SPECIALS? Because you can’t read EXTRAS without reading SPECIALS. That is pretty random and what do you mean ‘If I think up a good enough excuse for missing practice tonight’?

  21. Ping to Team Yoshi Banana + Scott-la: I was rereading Extras a few hours ago. Yoshi=Toshi halfway through the book! I htought I was imagining the name Yoshi until now.
    Get the movie made! Now! and….. If you haven’t already…

  22. i was boss cuza shea, and i didn’t get to try it! i didn’t bye! i wish i did!
    i want to read city of bones!
    i am now going to be spagbol
    amy help w/ costume?

  23. Ping to Boss……,
    I knew it! I knew u were boss because of shay! Lol if your gonna be spagbol here’s something and a queston (advice? i dont know, its just something) for your costume do you mean dehydrated or cooked? and dehydrated would be easier,cus u just need to be a package that says SPAGBOL.
    Ping to Scott-la,
    Are you sure you want to make a movie? If it doesnt turn out to be a good movie your reputation as a writer will not be good because people that havent read your books will say stuff like ‘that movie sucks! Uglies is so stupid!’ like what happened to Twilight and Stephenie Meyer. And it will completely ruin my imagination(what the setting and the characters and stuff like that look like).
    Ping to Holly-wa/StarSpangled,
    Im pretty sure that the movie comes out in 2011.
    In other news,
    I’m going to a haunted house tonight called mind seizure. and its supposed to be really scary and i get scared so easily if i dont sleep for nights its my friends fault. lol bye everyone!

  24. Scott, THANK YOU for coming to Phoenix! Your presence made my favorite bookstore (Chaning Hands) even more awesome.

    When the tour is over, you should post your diorama here on the westerblog. Because of that picture, the sledge illustration in the book will forever make me grin from ear to ear.

    Thank you, also, for writing some of my favorite books, for inventing Darkings, and for using the word “beasties” repeatedly (it’s my new favorite word). And for being one of Those Really Awesome Authors, in general.



    OH — To everyone else: THIS IS OUR CUE! We need to push Leviathan all the way up to number 1! Spread the word!!

    write another book and come back to AZ plzzzzz!

  26. He he okay jus soo yall see it heres the story from Sarahs piont of view…
    SARAH: *smells smoke*
    AUTOMATED VOICE: You may have noticed your hotel room is on fire. Please stand by for further details.
    SARAH: Well, I will stand by. The automated voice is never wrong.
    SCOTT: *calls me* Sarah where are you the hotel is on fire!
    SARAH: I am standing by in my room. The automated voice told me to.
    SCOTT: What if the person whose job it is to press the button to change over to the automated voice that says ‘Please flee the burning hotel’ has already died in flames?
    SARAH: Compelling point, Mr Westerfeld. I will be right down.
    Some time later…
    SCOTT: Sarah, did you bring anything downstairs but your laptop?SARAH: *shifty eyes* Well… did you?
    SCOTT: … I brought my phone.
    SARAH: When you take your laptop and leave your passport to burn, I think you reach some sort of ultimate level of geekiness.
    SCOTT: Look, firemen! Let’s twitter this event.
    SARAH: Perhaps for us there is always a geekier level.
    SCOTT: Do you remember when I played a joke on our publicist today and pretended I’d got off at the wrong train stop?
    SARAH: Yes.
    SCOTT: Do you think there’s any chance she’ll believe me if I email her and say the hotel is on fire?
    SARAH: O Scott, you have killed us both.
    Some time later…
    FIREMEN: Not to worry, little hotel people. We brave men of the flame have saved the day. The fire was caused by towels.
    SCOTT: People were smoking towels to get high?
    SARAH: Newlyweds are in the hotel and the towels were ignited by their passion!
    FIREMEN: … Towels in the dryer.
    The moral of this story may be never to leave writers to come up with their own explanations. Also, something about never crying wrong train station.

    ok that was funny u have to

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