Welcome to Nano Tips, a month-long festival of writing tips from me and Justine. We’ll be posting daily, me on the odd-numbered days of November, and Justine on the even-numbered days. This is, of course, all in celebration of NaNoWriMo. (And I think you know what that is.)
So here’s my first tip: The Dialog Spine.
Many writers use the so-called “dialog spine” as a way of mapping out a scene. As a sort of “zero draft,” they write just dialog, with no setting, action, or even attribution. It’s a quick once-over of conflict and resolution in a scene, without any tricky bits to slow you down.
This, of course, assumes that you find dialog easy. For some people, writing the action/description/whatever first might make more sense. In any case, you don’t have to make your dialog (or whatever) perfect. It’s just a way of mapping out the main beats in a scene.
But there’s another trick that I use the dialog spine for: blowing out the cobwebs. And by cobwebs, I mean “writer’s block,” “general ennui,” or “an idea that just needs to be written down, but I don’t have time.”
For example, over the last three days I’ve had a small but persistent short story idea. Of course, I’m on tour and just about to start doing revisions on Behemoth, book two of Leviathan. I don’t have time to write a short story, but I want to get this idea down. Once I write the dialog spine, maybe I’ll realize that there’s not that much to it. Or at least it’ll be on paper and out of my busy, busy brain.
And occasionally, a dialog-only short story is a lovely thing on its own. This falls less into the “novel writing advice” category and more into “a weird writing exercise.” But it’s all useful. Quite often in the middle of a novel, it’s good therapy to write a simple short story.
So here are my personal rules to writing a Dialog Spine Story:
1) Only dialog. That’s it. Zero exceptions.
2) Only two characters speak. Other characters and their dialog may be implied, but their words do not appear on paper.
3) One character’s dialog uses quotation marks, the other doesn’t. (This saves fiddling with attribution, or spending a lot of time creating verbal ticks to tell the characters apart. Remember, the point of this is to be quick and dirty. Not astonishingly artful.)
So what do these stories look like? I thought you’d never ask.
Here’s one I did just yesterday, for Halloween:
Served Cold
By Scott Westerfeld
October 31, 2009Mind if I sit down?
“Oh, my goodness.”
Sorry to surprise you.
“But you . . . ”
I know. You didn’t expect to see anyone in town today. Least of all me.
“No, I didn’t. But of course it’s wonderful to see you. Please.”
For heaven’s sake, don’t get up! Does that arm hurt much?
“They say it’ll be fine. It throbs in a bit, but I’m full of codeine. Can I get you anything . . . ? Ah. That’s probably a stupid question.”
No, it’s not. Coffee would be wonderful.
“Really? You’re not just making fun of me?”
I would never make fun of you. Anyway, I always liked the smell of coffee better than the taste.
“Yes, I remember that . . . Excuse me, waiter, but could I have a coffee, please?”
Tell him black.
“Black, please.”
You’re very kind.
“Well, it’s the least I can do.”
Don’t be silly. It wasn’t your fault, you know. Just one of those things.
“Really? I mean, that’s what the police said. It was the ice.”
And they were perfectly right. It isn’t safe on those small roads out of town. Goodness, is that gin I smell?
“Yes. A bit early, I suppose.”
But it’s been a long week, as you always say. And look, you’ve hardly touched your salmon. It looks quite cold.
“The salmon is served cold here. But yes, it’s slow, eating with one hand.”
Poor baby. I wish I could hold a knife. Ah, here’s my coffee. Do you mind pushing it across, please?
“Of course.”
Yes, that’s a lovely smell. It’s the little things, you know. Even now.
“I’ve always thought so. Not that I would know anything about . . . ”
No, you’ve no idea. There must be lots of questions you want to ask.
“Of course.”
Well, don’t be tongue tied.
“I suppose . . . the main thing is, is it good? Or is it horrible?”
Hmm. It’s melancholy, more than anything. Like not being invited to a party, and all your friends are there. Speaking of which, you were invited to the funeral, weren’t you?
“Of course.”
And it’s today.
“Yes. It’s just starting now, I suppose.”
Then why aren’t you there?
“Well . . . I could ask you the same thing, you know.”
Ha! I suppose you could. And I was going to go. But you know what they say. It’s not for me; it’s for them.
“Well, maybe I’m not one of them.”
Don’t be philosophical, darling. You are one of them. You’re only here in town because you’re afraid.
“Well . . . not afraid, exactly.”
Yes, exactly afraid. Afraid that everyone will stare. With that arm still in a sling, who could help staring? And they’d ask if it hurts, like I just did. Really, how awkward.
“I’m so sorry.”
Don’t be silly. I told you, it wasn’t your fault. It was a patch of ice.

“Are you sure?”
About the ice? Yes. I took a good long look at it again this morning. It was back again, after melting in the sun yesterday! The roads are quite unsafe. Someone should do something.
“But there’s nothing I could have done, right?”
Well . . . perhaps there was one little thing.
“What?”
If I’d been wearing my seatbelt, I’d be sitting here properly, wouldn’t I? Having cold salmon with you.
“You hate salmon, and you never bothered with seatbelts.”
I would have put mine on, if you’d asked me. I’d have done that for you.
“Really?”
Yes.
“But it’s not as though . . . you’re eighteen, after all.”
Ah. You’ve been practicing that line, haven’t you?
“Don’t be crass.”
Sorry. But I was wondering if my parents had asked yet. About why we were out so late.
“No. They haven’t said anything.”
That means you’re in trouble, of course.
“Well, they’re still quite overwhelmed.”
No—you’re in trouble. Just look at you, sitting here all alone, pushing your lunch around with one hand. In trouble and drinking gin on top of your codeine.
“And missing you.”
And missing my funeral, you mean. The nerve of you. They’ll only talk more because you’re not there. It’s an admission of shame.
“I’m not ashamed.”
You were wearing a seatbelt.
“I . . . yes, I always do.”
And I’d have worn one if you’d asked. I did a lot of things for you.
“I know.”
Good. Then you’ll do something for me? One last thing?
“Of course.”
Go to my funeral.
“But . . . now?”
Yes, now. I know it’s already started, but funerals are always endless. Leave right away, and you’ll catch the main event. I want you to be there.
“I . . . I suppose I could still make it. Are you coming . . . with me?”
No, I’ll go ahead. But I’ll be beside you all the way, in spirit. Look, here’s the waiter.
“Check, please? Listen, I’m not quite sure your parents want me there.”
Of course they do. You’re their best friend! And I want you there, so steel yourself, darling. Here, finish your gin, that’s right. Look, he’s got your check already. Pay with cash, it’s quicker.
“All right. Don’t rush me.”
You’ll have to drive fast, won’t you?
“It’s rather tricky, with one hand. Do you really want this so much?”
More than anything. Please be there to watch them lower me. Don’t let me go down there alone.
“Of course. I promise I’ll be there. I’m so sorry.”
Don’t be silly. It was just the ice. Just go.
. . .
Drive safely.
Mwa-hah-hah! Like I said, it’s a quick-and-dirty Halloween story.
Anyway, feel free to discuss what you think is going on in the comments. And behold the power of dialog!
On my next Nano Tip day, November 3, I’ll discuss this story in more detail.
And here’s Justine’s post with Nano Tip #2!
Sort of Update:
Almost forgot the obligatory click here for Leviathan tour details. And here to buy Leviathan.
1st comment!
My birthday is this month and Justine will be posting on it! November 20th!!! Oh and nice dialog spine story. Im not a writer, I’m more of a reader,but I’m gonna read the tips this month. 😛
That story was really interesting. The fact that it’s all dialog makes it harder to follow, but not so hard that it’s impossible. It’s a short story I’m sure my English teachers would love- you really have to think to figure it out. I like that a lot.
I wish you had time to do NaNoWriMo! I’m sure you’d come up with something amazing. :]
Wow. What I got from that story was a person who had a broken arm, sitting at a restaurant, is visited by the ghost of his/her recently deceased significant other, who asks him/her to go to his/her funeral. The alive one had been driving the car when it hit ice, crashed, and killed the dead one.
At least, that’s how I read it. It was a bit confusing at first, but fantastically wonderful. I loved it!
Well done, LaurelArwen. One thing I like about the Dialog Spine Story is that you can hide the gender of the characters, if you want.
Of course, the reader can always make inferences. Not just about gender, but age, social class, etc. Any guesses about those, anyone?
This will be so helpful!! Thanks so much!
I’m still working on a book, at 80,000 words now. I need all the help I can get with tips and editing and publishing, too! I look forward to the next days! Thanks again!
Thanks! I’ve had writers block for a while and this will definitly help.
I loved the story. The thing I was trying to figure out was the relationship between the two characters. Like LaurelArwen said, you can’t really tell the gender, and at first I thought it may have been a husband and wife. But then you threw in the age of 18 and the “darlings” and the parents best friend and thats what through me off. Best friends or boyfriend and girlfriend? Or maybe the ghost was alot older? the darling also contributed. It leans toward the ghost being female, but it could also be male, and the darling would just shape his personality more…
wonderfully written though!
I’m going to def use this next time I write
Oh my god–that was so sad! (your dialogue spine, I mean)
I would really love to read the entire story once it’s finished. 🙂
As for the tip, I’m not much of a dialogue person. I wish I were better at it, but setting and descriptions in general just come much easier to me. I’ll give the dialogue spine exercise a chance one of these days, though. Maybe it’ll help me improve.
Thanks for the tip!
♥K
That was cool. Very confusing at first…but by the end it all made sense!!!
Well I think that they’re both teenagers and i think the live person is a girl and the dead person is a boy. And i have a question Scott. When does Behemoth come out?
Yeah, LaurelArwen, I got that too. Actually, I thought that the dead character was the one who had been driving – but I think that him/her being in the passenger seat makes a little more sense.
Also, Mr. Scott, I think that the quotations was a female and the dead person was a male – in fact, I’m almost sure of it. Then again, it’s somewhat uncommon for a girl to be so open about drinking. But, no, I’m almost sure from the tone that she was a girl. The way that she asks for confirmation with words like “right?” and how she pays attention to close detail – it seems to me that she’s a girl. I’ve also noticed that more guys than girls go without wearing seat belts, or put up a fuss about wearing them – a personal observation.
And as for thinking the character without quotations was a guy, well, I think it’s the sureness of his words. It’s beyond thinking that he’s dead and he’s thought a lot – it’s the fact that he’s very sure of himself. Of what he has to say. A more masculine quality than feminine.
I think they were both middle-class. And I think they lived in the country. I don’t know why, but their words just paint an image in my head – living out, away from the city. They’re probably sitting in a small diner – very small, made mostly of wood – and the funeral is a good 20 minutes away, because that’s how close the nearest church is. On top of that, when the dead character asked if his parents asked why he was out so late, I imagined a screen door slamming as they ran out.
They’re farmers, maybe, but that might only be painted in my head because of the country setting I’ve put them in.
Going over the story again, I wonder if I have the genders switched. Nope, I’m sticking with what I’ve said.
And lastly, these two people were in a relationship. Not a relationship, exactly, not boyfriend/girlfriend. But clearly, the person who is still alive loves the one that has been killed. And while they were close, maybe nearly dating but not officially, the one who was killed wants to make sure the one who is still alive takes care of herself.
I’ve read it again. I really think the one who died was the driver. Hmmm.
Anyway, I could say much more – about what the characters look like, et cetera, but I really should go. I hope you enjoy my analysis, Mr. Scott!
Ping to Haley Rae,
I agree with that andd I think that the person who died is a boy and he was driving.
Very confusing at first but it all made sense when you read it a second time; am I right?
I also think the dead person is setting up the live person. Driving one-handed on an icy road and trying to get to something that’s already started is *seriously* not safe–even a seatbelt might not be enough to save someone in an accident.
Key line: Don’t let me go down there alone.
Oh–not to mention the codeine and the alcohol!
I loved that! It was great, and not confusing at all (to me, at least.) I think the alive one is a girl, by the way the ghost called her “Darling” and the ghost is a boy. No reason, I just get that feeling.
I get the sense at the end of the story that something bad is going to happen to the live one. The way the ghost tells her to drive safely, and how she suggests it is difficult to drive with one arm. I’m pretty sure the ghost is going to try and kill her as he’s “beside her in spirit”. And the last line feels slightly sinister. I could be totally wrong, but it is Halloween, after all.
(don’t mean to inundate, but…)
Just looked at the story again and noticed the title. A clear takeoff on the saying, “Revenge is best served cold.”
This is SO interesting. It’s really cool, seeing how you guys read this. I’ll be talking about my authorial intentions on Tuesday, so till then I won’t comment on specific interpretations.
The live one’s the girl, the dead one’s the boy.
Very random, but I came one here specifically to request, even though it probably won’t make a difference- Can you please recommend a book in a blog post sometime? After I read Midnighters (2 years ago) I developed an insane attachment to it and good books haven’t been as easy to come by, since. I read The Forest Of Hands And Teeth that you reviewed, which was really good!
Whoa, those were a bunch of crazy run-ons.
Nonono, I was too late! Shmamit, if I had commented 1 second earlier, Scott would have read my post! Oh, I’m crying over you, Scott!
It’s amazing to me how many different ways there are to interpret this story. I thought at first read that both speakers were female–casual friends, perhaps (the dead one with an affectation of calling everyone “darling” and the live one slightly younger, slightly intimidated by the other in life). I read the story again after reading the comments and can see why some people thought the dead one was male, but I still think that both characters are female. I’m also sure that the live character was driving the car; this explains the apology, as well as the reluctance to attend the funeral. The ending is creepy–it’s clear to me that the dead one wants to see the other character die.
Wow! This sounds icy! I’m so excited for more writing tips! 😀
It’s really great that there are teens in the world who care about reading and writing so much… and adult authors who write for these teens! (although, it’s not just teens who love your books- my dad read Leviathan and loved it!)
Hey Scott-la, you’re finally responding to comments again! Bubbly!
That story was really creepy… and icy! 🙂
I really though the dead one was female and the live one was male! The way he/she says “darling” and the way he/she talks seems to fit this kind of cavalier image I have in my mind of a woman who never wears her seatbelt. Also, the way he/she says “poor baby”, sarcastically (imo). The live one seems a bit masculine, drinking gin on top of codeine, and I can see a man being “best friends” with his significant other’s parents more than a woman. But these are just my immediate impressions. I don’t like gender stereotypes much.
Okay… after rereading the story again… WOW!
I see both characters as female too, maybe the live one looked up to the dead one before… it seems to me that the live one is slightly afraid of the dead one… like she (the live one) isn’t quite sure that the dead one was once her friend.
Did that make any sense? Oh well, the point is, it’s a really interesting story.
That was really neat! I’ve never done any of these (nor heard of them before now), but I’ve got loads stored up in my head.
Quick question: will Justine’s tips be posted here, or will we have to go onto her blog? Either way, I’ll be reading them!
Huh, it seems that I have done a dialogue spine without even realizing it! I did put some actions in parenthesis, though, so it wasn’t the same exact format. ^_^
I really like how as I’m reading this, I learn what is going on through the dialogue… I also love stories about spirits. ;D Dialogue spines are surprisingly powerful!
My friend wrote something like this before, so I wasn’t too confused. I got the idea that the person wasn’t really a person on the line “Tell him black”, implying that he couldn’t tell the waiter himself. For some reason I immediately thought that the live one was female and the dead one was male, but I thought they were older until I heard their age.
I also really liked how you had the woman speaking with quotation marks, because it made her seem more real. In most books the voice in someone’s head usually doesn’t have quotation marks, either it’s normal text or in italics.
Also, when writing this, were you thinking that the woman was actually speaking out loud, or in her head? Or does it not really matter.
Here’s the link to my friend’s story, if anyone would like to read it. I found it cute and enjoyable. It’s not exactly what Scott’s talking about, but it goes along the same lines of not flat out giving you the information. 🙂
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2601112/1/Love_Story
And I’m really excited for this month! I can’t wait!!!!
This is a real coincidence- in my English class we have to write a short story, and an option is to model it after Hemingway’s Hills Like White Elephants. This is exactly what I needed. Thanks so much!
I didn’t pick up any gender in these two. Guess I wasn’t looking for it. I was trying to puzzle out their relationship, though. I thought for the most part that they were friends, though I guess they could be romantically involved based on the use of “darling”.
A certain resentment showed through early on, when the ghost mentioned the seat belt. And it was obvious by the end that the ghost is feeling a bit murderous. “[the ice] was back again, after melting in the sun yesterday,” “You’ll have to drive fast,” “Finish your gin,” etc. And yes, as someone else mentioned, “Don’t let me go down there alone.”
Really cool story. Thanks for sharing it!
~Mary
I loved the short story. And the dialogue-spne could prove really useful this month, thanks.
The way I interpreted the story, the ghost is female, and a teenager. She’s secretly dating one of her parents’ friends, a man who is much older than herself (40-ish?). And the way the ghost is so insistent about him driving to her funeral, hurrying, while the roads are so bad, is because he’s going to hit a patch of ice on the way to the funeral and get killed himself. It’s her revenge.
But it’s just one way of reading it.
I’m not sure what genders the charaters are, but I get the feeling that the live person is a man. The dead person obviously has a good human intuition, about reading people, making me think that its a woman.
After a quick skimming, i thought that the man may be close with the girls parents, maybe secretly dating thier daughter??
Well, im in class at the mo, so only had a quick read. Will do another later. xx
oooh i love ghost stories hehe. i dont know why but right when i started reading it i was reading the quotations as a girl and the dead person as a guy. i think its cuz the second line was “oh my goodness” and ive never heard a guy say oh my goodness before hehe. and i actually didnt find it confusing at all. hmmm
-Lizzy-wa OUT! 8)
wow very interesting form of writing. I loved the story, it reminded me of something else ive once read before about how some people cant let go of what happened and envision themselves talking to whoever they might have believed they harmed to atone for it, inevitably convincing themselves to do something stupid, or odd, or something. i wrote a story like this before. not this format and simply not as good, but the basic idea. only instead of ice, it was another car.
my interpretation of the ghost and person’s relationship is that they might have been the friend-guardian thing. the person being the parent’s best friend, they might have been entrusted to look after the ghost, so they feel doubly guilty for this happening because they feel they failed.
Definitely got the sense that the live person was an older woman (best friend of the parents) of the dead male, and they were in a (possibly yet unconsummated) romantic/sexual relationship. The live person was clearly driving, hence the “it wasn’t my fault” avowals, and his response to her statement “well, you were eighteen” of “practicing that line, haven’t you” suggests there was or would soon be a sexual relationship (she reconfirms that with “Don’t be crass.”) The male/female cues I didn’t pick up on consciously, but I think Haley Ray’s dialog analysis was right on, even if I disagree about who was driving. There was no certainty about the genders, like there was about the facts that this was a dead person talking to a live one, who had been driving – there certainly could have been an 18-year-old woman so confident and assertive – but that wasn’t the sense I got.
I also got the sense that the ghost was trying to kill the live person – I wasn’t positive, but the live person HAD been drinking, does have one hand, AND the ghost mentioned earlier that the ice was back. And mentioned that he didn’t want to “go down there alone.” So, you know, that sucks.
I was also initially uncertain if this was a sort of alternate/science-fictional world where ghosts just sometimes appear, since she initially shows no surprise – but maybe, if the dialogue spine was fleshed out, there would have been nonverbal cues of surprise, since they didn’t talk about the mechanisms of being a ghost at all.
One of the interesting things about the reading experience for me was that it “clicked” that he was a ghost at the line “Hmm. It’s melancholy, more than anything. Like not being invited to a party, and all your friends are there.” I scrolled back up, looked at the dialog so far, and thought “yeah, he’s dead.” And then I went back down, and read the next line, which was “Speaking of which, you were invited to the funeral, weren’t you?” The timing of the more explicit confirmation was exactly right.
Disappointed that your RSS feed only feeds comments posted, not the blog entry itself. Was that intended?
ping to David&ZaneLuver,
My birthday is this month too!!!
actually its the 19th which is kinds creepy cause yours is the 20th!!
yay!!!
ok well anyways I absoluly LOVE that short story!
kinda hard too follow like LaurelArWel said but really really good!!!
I found that the dead one was the guy and living was a girl, and yes the darling part totally threw me off on the age untill you mentioned 18.
dialog spine is good. ^^ especially for me ‘cos my im better at writing dialog.
also, you’re posting a tip on my birthday 🙂 cooooooooool!
Love that your giving out tips for writers. It means a lot to me because I am hopping to have a career in writing when I get older, I do write but just amateur stuff, you know fanfiction, but thats as far as I have gone to writing, my friends have been my only readers and they love them, but I am sure I will never be as imaginative and well know in the wrting business as you have been, but I hope I get to meet you one day, and if I do thats will be awesome. And I do hope that if I ever get discovered that I will dedicate my fisrt book to you ,since your books made me interested in reading and have inspire me to write. Before Uglies I didn’t even own a book or even recall finishing a book before I read the Uglies.
NaNoWriMo… i might have to write something…
Wow. I love the Dialogue Spine idea! That will be very helpful in the weeks to come. I am about two chapters into my NaNoWriMo novel, and this is going to help so much! Thank you for posting this!
Definitely got the ghost wants the other dead vibe – and I think the line ‘I wish I could hold a knife’ is foreshadowing this.
I didn’t necessarily think it was for revenge though – at least not entirely. I get the feeling that there’s a romantic connection or at the very least a close friendship between the two, and the ghost doesn’t want to be alone/without the living one.
I think the ghost is a female and the living one a male. The living one seems kind of proud – not wanting to admit he’s afraid etc. which is more male-associated, and the ghost seems a bit more open about emotions and that sort of thing.
I get the feeling that the living one is a girl, and the dead one is a boy. I also think that the girl was driving (why else would she keep saying sorry?) and I think the reason he wants her to go to the funeral so badly is because he knows she’ll die on the way and join him in death, I just think that because I get the feeling he still Love’s her and want to be with her forever….I have no idea how old she is….but I’m guessing at lest in her twenties
Oh my gosh, when i was reading about the dialog tip I was a little skeptical, but it worked SO WELL! I just got out a scene that I was having trouble with, so all I need to do is beef it up with “he said” “she asked” etc.
Thanks so much, Scott-la! You just saved my poor NaNo-ing butt!
The ending makes me want to cry…
Actually, my eyes are watering. How could a true friend be so vengeful?!?
All right, so I guess you guys can’t see in my head, so here it is:
The living one is a girl and she was driving, the dead one is the boy.
They were not in a relationship, or at least not a true one, because the boy only wants the girl to think he loves her to torture her in a sense. He uses her and it was his fault she was driving so fast and perhaps wasn’t paying as much attention to her driving as she should have.
It was a nice-ish restaurant, not a diner, sorry. Not in the country, but not in a highly populated area, either.
Everything the boy did and said was to make the girl hurt and feel guilty (the coffee, the seatbelt, the sweetheart names…)
And yes, he wanted her to die.
Lisa M, I like the hopeful tone your interpretation has, so I want to say thanks for not making me have to go to bed now with that completely horrific view in my mind.
Though, the knife thing is rather gruesome…
The more I read and reflect, the more subtle nuances I notice in your writing, Scott, you are indeed quite skilled. Kudos.
Wow, after reading some other comments, I could totally sense that sinister ending.
AND, after re-reading the last few dialogue bits, I realize that it’s very likely that the dead one WAS in the passenger seat. It makes much more sense like that.
And if the dead character DOES somehow kill the character that’s still alive, that’d be totally twisted, but in a very cool way.
And definitely fitting for halloween.
It would explain why the dead character was rushing the alive character to go to his funeral. Hmmm…
Something to think about. I can’t wait for you to comment again, Mr. Westerfeld! I want to know what YOU thought while writing this.
I’m taking a creative writing class this year, and I’m in the middle of several writing projects, along with the rest of life.
Thanks so much for posting writing tips, I think they will make my life infinitely easier. (:
I’m looking forward to the rest of the month.
I LOVE writing all-dialogue scenes. My friend hates it, she thinks it’s too confusing. But I love it, and I am SO GLAD to have a real-life author agree with me! 🙂
As for this story, I started wondering if the no-quotes one was dead somewhere around the “There must be a lot of questions you want to ask” line. And they were dating, but the dead one’s parents didn’t know about it? Is the alive one significantly older than the dead one? I wonder because the dead one said something about the parents being the living one’s “best friends”. HMMM.
Seriously, I love this stuff. Dialogue ftw.
Also, I think the living, older character was female and the younger, dead character was male.
And I think the dead one was planning SOMETHING for the funeral. A haunting? Something, anyway.
This is very helpful. I am currenty writing a sci-fi novel and I am sure to get stuck somewhere along the way. I can’t wait to hear more of your advice!
Btw, this may be a little dumb to ask. But how do those nickname add-ons work? I loved the way it worked in the Uglies series (rereading currently) and I wanted to have my own. Thanks!
One the short story above I think the ghost is a girl and the live one is a guy. And she certainly wants him dead. 🙂
Oh, something that I wanted to say about writing. If you are just starting out, it might be a good idea to carry around paper and pencils…or I suppose a pen and your arm. Ideas often come in the most random moments and it is totally bogus when you can’t remember what the idea was later.
Another thing, just WRITE! Don’t worry about making it pretty (no pun intended 🙂 ) So yeah, just wanted to throw that out there. I hope that you agree with me Mr. Scott. 🙂
Wow that was some story! I suspect that it’s a boy and a girl thats maybe going out and the girl was driving, sliped on some ice, killed the guy, and now feels really bad about what she has done. I know one is 18 and the other is probley 18 too. They could be in college together and thats where they met. I don’t think that the guy is really dead, I think he just faked his own death, but then theres some problems with that theroy so I’m not sure. But great little stroy!!! 😀 😀 😀
I agree with Jessica-la, except I think the ghost is the girl. The way he/she talks with words like “darling” seems to indicate they’re a girl. But idk. As for race & social class and such, it’s near impossible to tell…
That’s a neat-o idea, Scott-sama. I’ll try that for the story I wanna write soon.
Kim: I was thinking the same thing, because the whole ‘Drive Safely’ buisiness seems sort of ironic. I like the story though, the dialog spine is a good idea too.
: D
El – all the way from comment 14 – I think that quote, “Don’t let me go down there alone” was referring to going down the road to the funeral home, not down to Hell or anything! But I guess it’s all interpretation!
Ooooh~~! I love this story and your tips!
Also: I imagined they were both guys and that the ‘live one’ was the parents friend. Seemed obvious to me…
can’t help but get the feeling that our dead ‘boy’ would really like some revenge on the older woman.
wish i could hold a knife???
I think he’s pissed he’s dead and blames her although they might have loved one another once
he misses her and as some of the comments listed before – doesn’t want to be alone
eVERYONE ELSE HAS PRETTY MUCH PUT MY THOUGHTS TO WORDS BUT OVERALL, THE STORY WAS PERFECT 4 HALLOWEEN! sORRY ABOUT THE CAPS LOCK. i WILL TURN IT OFF….now. Ta-da! G2G tons of homework! though i’m procrastonating by posting on Scott-la’s blog… BYE! ^_^ 😀
I really liked it and the one technique that stood out most for me was the use of the quotation marks. It’s like a sneaky way of emphasizing the idea of reality and the one with quotations is alive while the other without quotations is not really there (ghost, repressed emotion that is being turned into this being) really good and made me want to know what is to happen next mainly because I felt that the “girl” was going to die next because the ghost stated that the ice spot was there again and she replied about her arm. Also its interesting how we analyze this and get that the person who died was a male could this be because we feel that males are more reckless than females? (stereotypes?)
I’m thinking there are two lovers, one dead, one alive. The live one is sitting in a restaurant when they are visited by the spirit of the dead lover. The dead lover was killed while they were driving, because they weren’t wearing a seat belt. At the end, I got the prickly feeling that the dead lover wanted the live one to drive fast, along the back roads, and – hopefully – crash and die, so they could be together. Hmm. 😀
REVENGE! “A dish best served cold”!!
Oh my gosh! Revenge is a dish best served cold! I’ve heard that saying! (That’s what Scott was thinking, right? It be sort of funny if the title’s significance was just over the fact that they salmon were cold.) So the ghost wants the other person to die, too, like someone on here said about the person being on codein, partially drunk, and only having one arm to drive when it’s probably still icey out because funerals don’t happen long after a person dies.
Which means that, if they want them dead too, the ghost obviously blames the human for thier death, despite what they might say. The driver was probably drunk, which is why they sounded kind of unsure whether the accident was really caused by the ice, and that would also explain the ghost asking about their parents wondering what they were doing out so late. Plus, drunk driving would make sense as a plot to a story from an author who usually writes for young adults.
I too think it’s two significant others, the ghost male and the person female. Something about the way they speak, it’s just how I pictured it. I don’t know a lot of girls who call their boyfriend’s “darling.” Possibly it could be two friends who are bother female. Either way, male or female, the ghost seems to be the snarky type by how they use the word, and of course the fact (or theory) that they’re setting the other person up to die.
Any thoughts, people?
Scottla’s right, it’s interesting how people interpret this. A lot of it has to do with what they’re exposed to, I guess. Like I sort of felt like it might be…well, all the stuff I said because I just finished picking to death the end of To Kill a Mockingbird in English and I guess I’m just getting my detective on again & expecting subtle things to have big significance.
I also felt that it might be two close friends who were girls because it reminds me a bit of the relationship in the book Winter Girls, how the ghost and the human interacted and thier motives.
I got pointed this way by Nephele Tempest’s blog and couldn’t help myself, since I pretty much have opposite assumptions about the story. 🙂
Haley (comment 56), I think “down there” meant the grave. 🙂
At the start, I immediately pictured both characters male, and the “dead” one a vampire, though that eventually shifted to ghost when I got more details. I changed the dead one to female, too, and the live one an older male, for pretty much the exact same reasons most people chose the opposite. It would gall me because it’s all stereotype-based, and yet, the vast majority here didn’t see the same things.
Like, I haven’t heard a male call a female “darling” in the inferred tone since Hart to Hart. 🙂 (Inferred because it’s how I read the tone, which might not be how it was intended.)
The exchange about Dead being 18, plus Dead’s parents asking why they were out so late, plus Live being the parents’ best friend, all bring to mind older man/younger woman scenario, kind of illicit. Very cliché, but that’s because it’s so common. Far, far more common than older woman, young boy.
I also pictured a higher-end restaurant, not a diner, because while a diner might serve salmon, the way he said this place serves it cold sounds a little more high-brow. But I would agree with suburban area, not urban, because of the “in town” reference.
And hey, I just realized since this blog is in Australia, you might have already posted your Tuesday post with the answers! LOL I shall shut up and go check. 🙂
This story is almost better as just a spine, with each revelation coming as a surprise and much left to the imagination. I don’t think I would have gotten the shivers as much with thick description.
MY own interpretation: The dead one struck me as a girl right away, young and snarky even before the “eighteen” line. At first I thought the live one was her boyfriend, around the same age, but the “parents’ best friend” put me in mind of the illicit affair, as others said. The “darling” and “oh my goodness” seem to fit if the ghost is slightly sarcastic and the human older, maybe forties? That seems to fit this dialogue set better than the two the same age:
“But it’s not as though . . . you’re eighteen, after all.†– Meaning the man is older.
Ah. You’ve been practicing that line, haven’t you? – Possible defense against coming accusations?
“Don’t be crass.†– Words of an older person, not a teenager.
Sorry. But I was wondering if my parents had asked yet. About why we were out so late. – Her parents would ask him why he was driving with her late at night, since he’s THEIR friend.
“No. They haven’t said anything.â€
That means you’re in trouble, of course. – Because now the affair is in the open.
And, of course, “And I’d have worn one if you’d asked. I did a lot of things for you” simply SCREAMS to me that she liked him much more than he liked her. Which is precisely why he’s not at her funeral–he really doesn’t miss her that much, being much more concerned with his own embarrassment than, well, seeing her off.
But she’s not going to stand for THAT. Hooray for strong female characters!
Haley Rae, I think El meant what I was also thinking, which is a twisted double meaning to the phrase “don’t let me go down there alone,” as in:
1. don’t let me have to be alone while they lower my body into the grave because you should be standing at my graveside, (The open meaning) and
2. don’t let me be buried alone, as in — you should die, too. (The sinister underlying meaning)
By the way, I also felt a bit of the age difference when I read it, but I wasn’t 100% sure how I felt about that…
I have been thinking, and though when I read it the girl was the living and the boy was the dead, I can understand how the opposite could be the case.
Now, also, I understand even more of the nuances… great symbolism.
(I could see how they both could be girls, though that’s not how I read it, but not both boys…
It actually makes a lot of sense with a jealous, back-stabbing, reputation wary (okay, maybe that’s a little too overboard, but…) girl-girl “friend” relationship if you think about it… I should re-read it with that in mind…)
Nanowrimo is gonna be SOOOOOOO awesome.AHHHHHHHHHH I CAN”T BELIEVE I”M WRITING A BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dissagree with everyone . . i think that the girl is the one that is dead and the boy was the one driving. . . This is really facinating scott-la i love it
Reminded me of Noel Coward’s Blithe Spirit…
Oh my God. It was so creepy reading it the second time. You could see hints of the thought person being dead from the very beginning! The way the living person is all surprised, and the dead one keeps cutting her/him off, and then the fact that the living person seems to feel that it’s ridiculous to ask the dead one if he/she wanted anything. And the hints continue. I didn’t get that the dead one was dead until pretty far down the first time, but it was scary to catch the early hints the second time reading it. And the ending was really creepy.
The way I interpreted it was that the dead one was eighteen, male, while the living one was a woman the boy’s parent’s age. I also suspect pretty strongly that they had a romantic affair, that only came into the open when the boy was killed, because of the other parents talking about her, especially if she didn’t show up, and that she was sitting their with her gin that early feeling sorry for herself. I’m not quite sure what defined the genders for me, but I guess it was mostly intuitive. I agree with most of Hayley Rae’s first comment referring to their genders though. I also got the impression that the woman was driving. She was the older, more responsible one with the seat-belt on and obviously felt very guilt of the boy’s death, thinking it was her fault. The boy being more younger and more reckless (wasn’t wearing a seat-belt for one) probably pushed the woman to drive faster than usual ‘causing the accident on ice. To exactly WHY the boy wanted to kill the woman I’m not entirely sure, but my best guess must be vengeance. Definitely the more chilly option as opposed to the romantic “can’t live (or die in this case) without you”, but it seems more likely to me.
I’m sorry if I’m being repetitive here, didn’t have time to read through all the comments. :/ But this is my view on the story.
Btw, loved the writing style! I’ve got to try that out some time. I’ll probably fail at making any sense at all, but it seems fun. Unfortunately my strongest writing, um, can’t thing of a word?! thing .. isn’t dialogue. I’m better at description. Which isn’t helpful in this style. But I guess this is a good exercise for practicing dialogue. Thank you so much for the tip, and the brilliant story! 🙂
Woah. That was a long post. Btw, I didn’t read through it, so there are bound to be a whole load of typos there! I’m apologize for that (if you’re like me and think it’s annoying to read a text full of typos). And there are loads of other good explanations here, this is just was I saw while reading the story.
Thanks so much for the tips! They have been really helpful to me in my 60k word, 30 day writing adventure!
Yes, I certainly got the feeling that this ghost wanted their living lover to join them. Very creepy feeling at the end. This almost doesn’t need fleshing out. It’s really interesting just to look at everything that’s been inferred and go from there.
Thanks for the neat tip!
Wow. That was amazing!! I’ve had this story idea buzzing in my head for a few days (add that to the sinus headache dancing around in my skull and ya have a killer party). So, I decided to open my story with a dialog spine, and I’m likin’ the way it turned out so far!
Anyway, I agree with some people. I think the dead person might be a girl, and has just turned 18. She seems to be the snarky, sarcastic type, out for revenge because she’s angry that the other person(who I think is male and considerably older than her) is still alive and she’s not. But I also think some of that anger stmes form fear. She’s dead, but doesn’t want to be alone on the day of her funeral, the day when she is supposed to be”put to rest”. Not very restful if you’re scared, is it?
I do think the person who is alive is male, but maybe a little younger than some people thought. 30’s maybe?? I just don’t many women going out and drinking (on top of pain meds!!), and then driving to a funeral on icy country roads. I do agree with the people/person who said the the girl may have liked the man more then he liked her (whoa, slightly confusing!) The person who is still alive(for the moment, anyway…) just seemed *so*surprised that the dead one would have put their seatbelt on, if only the man/live person had asked. that shows the the girl/dead person really did like(or maybe even love) the person who is still alive.
I think that the man/live person had better drive very, very carefully. Coedine, gin, icy roads, and a vengeful ghost breathing down your neck make for a very dangerous ride, especially when you’re trying to get something that has already started (like a funeral for your deceased lover…) I love the play on “Revenge is a dish best served cold” for the title. And the cold salmon? Way cool.
That was awesome! I really liked it. I finished Specials today, and I almost started crying in my computer class! Very interesting, and this will help me when I write my stories. 🙂
This is my first NaNo and I am up for all the tips and tricks, as I fully intend to work this first novel into something I might actually feel comfortable submitting. Looking forward to the rest of your posts throughout the month. Thanks.
Late to the party on this, but thank you for the dialogue spine. I can’t believe I got through grad school without anyone mentioning it, so I’ll chalk it up to I forgot. Each of my NaNo chapters so far now has a dialogue spine file, and they’ve already been useful.
And I love the story. I can’t hear someone say the word “darling” without hearing Shaw or Coward – even with seat belts and codeine – so I got the fundamental story you describe, with added black tie and Cole Porter soundtrack. I still can’t decide about the genders, but who cares? More fun to play with the possibilities.
What motivated you to pursue a career in writing? Please reply quick cause im doing a project that is due really soon.
Thanks!!!
What an awesome idea. I just found your blog through Justine’s. And being on Day 4 of NaNoWriMo, I’m sure to hit some walls. I’ll be sure to try the dialog spine WHEN (not if) I get stuck.
Best,
Dave
Oh man, he wants the other person to die too on that very same ice patch!
I really enjoyed the Dialog Spine =-).
Btw, the fact that the person without quotation mark was a ghost was somewhat very fitting.
Hmm, did seriously no one comment on the fact that she’s dating her best friend’s son?
That was the twist that caught me …
Amazing story. I arrived to this blog for the first time today and I’m amazed. I’m so going to become a regular reader!
The story is very interesting and it has such a tone that it made me read it completely without stopping. It was great! I had never thought of writing something like that (pure dialogue) but I might give it a try someday. Who knows if I’ll be able to make it work.
In any case, it was amazing reading your story. Great job. 🙂
Thanks for all the tips!
Sincerly yours,
Andrea (a Chilean Nano-er). 🙂
That was really interesting. I enjoyed that a lot. I actually got a kind of strange relationship between the characters. I saw both characters as being female. They were lovers, one alive and one dead. The one who was alive (with the quotation marks) was the one driving, which is where all the guilt came from. The one who was alive was also an adult, as it said she was a best friend of the dead girl’s parents. The dead girl was 18 as it said in the story. Just thought I’d put that out there 🙂
I definately like the dialogue only because the reader can fill in the details by themselves. Whats a good story without drama, love, death, and a little action?(;
Hmmm… I think that they’re both female. Because the one with her arm in a sling (obvoiusly alive because why would it be in a sling if she were dead?) seemed a little uncertain and…… softer, I think is the word. Also I think its easier for girls and girls to be more friendly with eachother’s parents.
I think the other girl (the ghost) is a little older, like an older sister or the mean girl up the street who loved to torment you and show off to her friends. I think the live one sort of sounds apollogetic and wishy-washy about the whole thing. The ghost seems very sarcastic and pushy and demanding.
As for social status, I think it’s more like the high school popularity fight… not that big/improtant.
I see the live girl in a fancy hotel returaunt like in New York (City) or something trying to run away. But now that I think about it why would an 18 year-old have that much money to run away to a five-star hotel? The funeral is being held at an old Church at a place far out of the city and that’s why she has to go fast because it’s a long drive.
This is very interesting, but I can’t do this. I need the visual stuff before I can even begin dialouge. Dialouge to me is the details.
I really like this, mostly because it’s like a theatre excersize. I’m a huge theatre freak, so I can see lots of interpretations of this on stage. if it didn’t have the implied actions, like sit down etc., it would be perfect. I think I’ll use this for theatre more than writing.
Thanks a lot!
@>~&~
Awesome. Thanks, Scott!
I thought that the person that died was a girl and that she was in the passenger seat, and that the two were going out.
okay, here’s what i think:
1. who’s the ghost?–the dead one’s boy, live one’s a girl. or, they’re both gay males. no, i’m going with he first one. the live one was definatley female and though the phrase darling is a tad feminine, i think the ghost was male.
2. relationship–note how the boyfriend wasn’t copmforting the woman. not overly, anyway. that gives him a kind oif bitter edge, makes the woman seem kinda needy. instead of telling her it will be all right, or that he forgives her, he is harsh and menacing. through this, i would assume that the ghost was the initiator of the relationship. also, this serves as more evidence to prove tht he is male.
3. who was driving?–the woman was driving the car. most definatley. i can’t imagine it any other way.
4. was she older?–maybe i’m stereotyping, but i would assume if the ghost was male, he would be inclined to drive. which, then, makes me think the woman is older. also, noe the gin, the “you are 18” and the mention of being a friend of the boy’s parents… okay, here’s how i imagine the characters:
5. the woman: she’s i college, majoring in english or history of some sort–and living in the ghost’s town, probably pretty far from the college, but i would guess she was there ’cause of an association with the ghost’s parents ( is she renting an apartment/room from them, for a low price? ). i would imagine she normally lives out of state. on the day they crashed, they had been under the pretense of driving somewhere, but really had gone somewhere out of the way to make-out.
Physically, i imagine her to be thin and short, looking younger than she is, with pale brown hair, cut somewhat short. on the day of the conversation, her hair would be lank and tangled, like she hadn’t bothered to wash it. Also, her eyes would be red and puffy, her gait unfocused, due to a mixture of gin and coedine.
6. the boy: in my mind, the boy is a much edgier character. perhaps it was the use of the phrase “darling”. the term is just so undeniably possesive… also, this would support a reason the parents would want the girl and boy to hang out: so her maturity and resonsibility would rub off on him. if only they knew…
7. the town– it has to be a small town, no question about it. that doesn’t mean its rural– just little. it appears almost everyone there is at the boy’s funeral ( which, of course, is why she “didn’t expect to see anyone in town today” ).
Well, those r all my revelation for today… thx for the puzzle, scot-la, this was SO fun!
Physically, i imagine her like this.
what? how did the “physically, i imagine her like this” get tacked on to the end? huh. it must be some sorta mistake.
OMG I’m so dumb! When they were talking about seatbelts I thought they where talking about magic belts that make it so you could see invisable people! Then I re-read it and figured out that you were talking about seatbelts! hahahahaha I think I was thinking a little to far outside the box now eh? (no im not brittish i just like saying that) K scotty now i need 2 have book recedomations. They can be your books others books or even yo mamas books! I also need to knowwhat book you’re most proud of (or series) K? I will read it! (if i havent already) and now i need your opinain on my writing skillz.(not talkin about spelling)but likes ways to improve
“Are they still coming?” I asked in the slightest whisper.
“I think we lost them… but we should go a little further just in case.” the stranger replied between breaths. I leaned agenst the old hard tree, feeling the rogfh bark scraping my back. Suddenly I heard slight foot steps. I stood paralized. The footsteps became louder and louder. As I turned my head I saw what looked like an inhuman hand reaching out to grab me. They’d found us. I tried to scream but nothing came out. I ducked down onto a pile of crunchy leafs. Then I heard a gasp next to me. The stranger was gone, and pulled slowly into the darkness.
if requested I will write more
lalalalalalalalalala
hey great tips everyone!!!!!!!!1 check out the fourum lol tyons of fun
It’s so great reading these comments, I had such a different intrepretation of them! I didn’t think about gender, but the one who died wasn’t driving. S/he kept saying “It was icy” and the Salmon Eater felt guilty. I hadn’t even thought of the setting up for death aspect — very creepy! As for the relationship, I was pretty confident they were in the awkward not-quite-boyfriend/girlfriend stage because the dead one said several times s/he would have done things if the other had asked.
I’m a bit late, but this is interesting, so this is what I got:
The spirit is male and young: 18.
The living person is female, and they were together, and she is much older than he is. He mentions that she is his parent’s best friend, so that makes me think she is older.
She was driving the car when they hit the ice. Here she makes a comment about him being 18 and responsible which again makes me think she is older.
He is setting her up to die. She is on drugs, been drinking, has one arm to drive, and he mentions the roads are deadly. Then there is the final comment about not letting him go into the ground alone.
I am definitely going to give this exercise a try!
Ok so I am reallllly late….. oh well.
I think the spirit/gohst was a girl. It seems to me that girls are more into the feelings and would want him there. It seemed realy important to her. Guys just dont show how much they care as much and the person alive used words like “supose” and seemed hesitant.
Don’t know if that made sense….
I love dialog… It is so much easier for me to read than detail b/c I can get lost in detail and not really remeber what I am reading. Like in Uglies when Tally was in the forest it was fantastic detail, but when I first read it I couldn’t wait for dialog.
PLEASE dont judge me based on how I spell!!!!
hen i rested and decided I should at least try again and get at least to the top. So I did. I got all the way to the top and walked across the suspended log at the top. I was so proud of myself and would’ve done it again if I could stand up.
Wow, this was soo good. Scott you are one of my favorite authors and there is so much to this dialogue spine and I would LOVE to read more of this! I hope you consider working on it more after the Leviathan series!