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Stalking the Dead

Posted on by scott

After 28,000 miles of traveling we’re back in NYC, jet-lagged and getting ready for BEA. Lucky for 24-hour dry-cleaning, or we would be sartorially doomed for the next few days.

Of course, my posting is so far behind that there are still tales of Paris to tell . . .

Around the corner from our hotel was this graveyard. It was old and pictaresque, so I took the new camera over to shoot moody graveyard shots. Like this one:

Blah, blah, blah. Very artsy-fartsy.

But suddenly, I started finding famous dead people!

That’s the Baudelaire, the dude who translated Poe into French. And he was not alone; I was in the midst of a host of defunkt French celebs!

Without hesitation, I threw aside all pretensions of art, and became a paparazzo of the dead. This turned out to be much more fun than artsy photographs.

There were even honorary French people buried there, like American Man Ray, the guy who made the world safe for Dadaism.

Another yank there was Jean Seberg, aka the cute chick from Breathless.

Check out her birth and death dates. Drugs are bad for you.

But on the positive side, beautiful actresses get more flowers than philosophers. Even philosophers in pairs . . .

Hey, here’s one of my favorite playwrites:

I directed his play The Lesson in my senior year in high school. It was all about an etymology lesson, but I changed it to a tennis lesson. (Dude, I was so Dada, it still hurts.)

Okay, I think that’s all the good Paris photos. Singapore comes next.

And by the way, I just finished the copy edits for Extras. Yay!

Tired. But. Can’t. Sleep. Or. Jet-lag. Will eat me.

Me Post Soon

Posted on by scott

We’re at Reading Matters in Melbourne, Australia, having a great time. And yes, my posting has been pretty bad on this trip. So far so behind that there are still tales of Paris to tell!

Not to mention Singapore and Sydney. My apologies, but accessing the internets from hotels is expensive and painful. I will do better this summer. Promise.

Please speak amongst yourselves till we get back to NYC on . . . Tuesday!

Norton Win + Paris!

Posted on by scott

No, not me. Justine just won the second annual Andre Norton Award for Magic or Madness!

We weren’t in NYC at the time, so thanks to Eloise Flood (dear friend and editor to us both) for picking it up, and to fellow nominee Maureen Johnson for being the first to text us.

Amusing Story 1: The actual Norton Award object was somehow melted in transit. They had to give Eloise an old Grandmaster Award as a stand-in.

Amusing Story 2: Holly Black won the first one last year for Valiant, which we’d bet her she would. So she had to take us out for a hugely expensive meal. Absurdly expensive, it turned out. But now we owe her one. (drat)

Speaking of good food, the reason I haven’t been posting is that we’ve been here:

Amusing Story 3: I was trying to get my cool new camera (b’day pressie from Justine) on the right setting to shoot the Eiffel Tower. And it turned out that the setting for Big Buildings was indicated by an icon of the Eiffel Tower!

Ah, Paris. What an iconic city.

We were there to do press for Uglies, which came out last week in French. My adult sf is much more popular in France than the US, so I had tons of big papers inteviewing me: L’Express, Le Monde, Figaro, and a bunch of teen weeklies and monthlies.

Apparently, I am the Jerry Lewis of sf.

French interviewers are different from their English-language counterparts. More . . . philosophical. My favorite example:

What utopia would you fight for?

Gotta love the French. I said something like, “A chaotic utopia, with a thousand voices in tumult.” Because that’s what happens when I’m jetlagged and philosophical in France.

Especially enjoyable was being translated for six of the eleven interviews. It worked like this: The interviewer would ask something in French, Christian (my translator) would repeat it to me in English. Then I would waffle for a while, and Christian would translate my waffling back to the interviewer in French.

How Christian did this without head explodage is beyond me. A lot of my answers (and some of the questions) were a couple of minutes long. I can’t even repeat something of that length back in the same language, much less another one.

But it was way cool listening to my answers in French, trying to catch recognizable words flashing by. Christian and I got to know each other in a really interesting way. (That is, he saw me answer the same questions six different ways in some cases. This is something only Justine normally gets to do.)

I have a lengthy video of the process, which I’ll try to cut into uploadable form soon.

All in all, Paris was awesome. Great food, perfect weather, bars named after me, and everyone was supremely wonderful to us. A jolly birthday. (I’m 44! Ancient!)

Thanks to Christian, all the journalistes, and my Pocket publicist Christine.

More photos, etc., to come.

P.S. You can buy the Norton Award-winning Magic or Madness in fine bookshops everywhere or here.

Us in Austin and Tyler

Posted on by scott

Hey, sorry for no posting. (Just. Finished. BOOK.) We’ve been having a great time in Texas.

All the folks at TLA were so amazing and welcoming, and as I’m a native Texian, there were some cool surprises. One of the librarians from my past brought my ancient 8th Grade yearbook. Two things about that:

1) Go Warriors ’77!
2) Picture of me = ouch.

Also, my own high school librarian showed up! She’s still at good old Booker T., and we had lunch and talked about old times.

Here’s my schedule for the next three days:

Monday
Appearance in Austin
April 16, 7PM
Justine Larbalestier & Scott Westerfeld
BookPeople
603 N. Lamar (at Sixth)
Austin, TX

Tuesday
Visit Grandma

Wednesday
Appearance in Tyler, TX
April 18, 1:15 p.m.
Justine Larbalestier & Scott Westerfeld
Bishop T.K. Gorman Middle School
Open to public! Click here for directions.

That is all.

Best Week Ever

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And it’s only Wednesday.

Actually the good stuff started on the weekend, when Justine and I went to the Humble Teen Lit Fest, as mentioned in my last post. It was awesome. We had about 1,000 attendees, the organization was smooth as silk, and all the guests were a blast.

After Chris Crutcher’s moving keynote address, I took over the gym for my two sessions—though, alas, I was not allowed to take control of the scoreboard. I got to talk to about 500 kids altogether, including one girl wearing painful-looking Peeps contact lenses. Thanks to everyone who asked questions. Without you question-askers I am a very boring man.

Then came two solid hours of signing, one of the more fun hand-cramps I’ve ever experienced. Everyone was just so enthusiastic. After that, Justine and I went out with a passle of librarians and my uncle (a principal in the district) for Mexican food. It was a splendid day. Many thanks to everyone who made it happen.

Here’s Justine’s version.

And the week has stayed wonderful. Today my pals at Simon & Schuster messengered over this little artifact:

Yes, that’s the Japanese cover for Uglies. And it’s so. Very. Cool.

But the coolness doesn’t stop on the outside. Observe the inside flap:

That’s the traditional meet-the-characters spread. Luckily, I have a micro-smattering of Japanese from college days. Rightmost is, of course, Tally. On the left-hand page are:

upper right: Peris
upper left: David
lower right: Shay
lower left: Dr. Cable

If you want to decode the katakana yourself, use this table to work out the names are pronounced in Japanese. I must admit that the romanization of “David” is freaking me out.

UPDATE: From the way this post was written, it must have looked like this is a manga version of Uglies. But it’s just a novel with a few illustrations. Like these:

Here’s the party scene, with Peris in his tux and Tally clutching a pig mask and looking crumpled.

And here’s the all-important hoverboard shot!

This is just so cool, I can die now. (Well, maybe after a manga version gets created and translated.)

Thanks to Angharad Kowal at S&S foreign rights for selling it, Sony Magazines for buying it, Ken Tanizaki for translating it, and KAZUAKI for adding the visuals.

Update 2: Here’s a link to Amazon.jp, for those of you mad enough to buy a book you can’t read for four or five cool illustrations.

River Pix

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We just got back to Sydney, and I have some more Thailand pix to post.

But first . . . a bit of news for those of you in and around NYC. There’s a completely awesome reading tomorrow (Tuesday) at Books of Wonder. It includes this stunning cast:

Coe Booth
I haven’t read her debut novel Tyrrel yet, but it’s been getting screamingly good reviews. Plus she’s a terrific performer, not to be missed.

John Green
I just finished An Abundance of Katherines, which is very funny and will be loved by Dess fans, because it’s full of mathy goodness. And anagrams. And footnotes.

David Levithan
Recently flew through David’s novel Wide Awake, about a political movement that springs to life after a contested election. An immensely appealing political fantasy, full of hope and that lovely feeling that us regular folks can change things . . . plus a road trip!

E. Lockhart
Haven’t yet read her new one, The Boy Book: A Study of Habits and Behaviors, Plus Techniques for Taming Them, but Justine says it’s great. E. is always funny, and BB also has footnotes! (Plus a great title.)

Maureen Johnson
Earlier this year I read Devlish, Maureen’s hilarious demon-posing-as-a-Catholic-schoolgirl novel. Totally enjoyed it, as I blogged here.

I hear from David that they have secret and amusing plans for a bit of performance art. So you should go if you can.

Books of Wonder
18 W 18th St (between 5th & 6th)
Tuesday, December 5
starting at 5pm, wrapped up by 7pm

And now, some photos from Thailand! We spent a lot of time on the Phraya River, which carries tons of cargo and millions of commuters through the Bangkok area.

First, the mighty longboats, tuk-tuks of the waterways!

The coolest thing about longboats is their HUGE engines. Which shows how much weight you can move around with proper leverage:

Note the engine-person ratio. Like gondeliers, but with V-8s.

And now a more zen view of the river:

You see Buddhist monks everywhere in Bangkok. They wear saffron (orange) robes, and generally look pretty, um, chill. I’m on a crowded commuter boat here at rush hour, and the monks are standing under a sign that says, “SAVE THIS SPACE FOR MONKS.”

So I did.

The architecture in Bangkok is so beautiful that I didn’t take many pictures of it. I leave the photographing of actual beauty to the experts (and mostly take pix of funny stuff). But here . . .

The moody light and gray weather were really elegant. Plus, everything is more mystical when you see it from the water.

So do any of you have Halloween pictures of yourselves as Westerfeldian characters? That might be fun.

Tuk-Tuk!

Posted on by scott

Okay, I have found my new favorite way to get around. Ever. (Well, until hoverboards are invented.)

Behold the humble tuk-tuk!

As Wikipedia defines the term:

The tuk-tuk (ตุ๊กตุ๊ก or ตุ๊กๆ in Thai) is the Southeast Asian version of a vehicle known elsewhere as an auto rickshaw or cabin cycle. It is a widely used form of urban transport in Bangkok and other Thai cities, as well as other major Southeast Asian and South Asian cities.

How I define it is: Three-wheeled, hoverboard-like hellion of the traffic-choked fleshpot!

But yeah, it’s kinda like a motorized rickshaw too. The driver sits in front and one or two farang adults or three somewhat skinnier Thai adults, or up to (we-swear-to-Cthulu-saw-this-today) five schoolkids sit in back. The tiny gas-powered motor putters to life and pulls the whole contraption into traffic.

It is, as you might guess, awesome.

Let’s go on a tuk-tuk ride together, shall we?

First there is the measured buildup, sidling along just faster than the various pedestrians.

The other tuk-tuks swarm about us, waving and smiling.

Notice how the metal filigree between driver and passngers looks exactly like a bedframe? That’s just one part of what gives the experience its Hey-I-just-put-a-motor-on-my-couch-want-to-go-for-a-ride? feel.

Fun Fact: the tuk-tuk’s name is onomatopoetic. It’s tiny two-stroke engine sounds just like—

But look! A tuk-tuk-size opening in the traffic . . .

The sudden acceleration (or “dash of death”) between other, much larger vehicles begins! Any of them could crush us without a second thought! It’s like riding a poodle into a stampede of t-rexes!

But then a stretch of open road is spotted . . . and we make the jump to tuk-tuk hyperspace!

The dizzying crescendo! Your teeth are rattling like a pearl necklace in a blender!

And then, suddenly, the screech of brakes and blinding glare of brake-lights!

Ahhh, we are at our destination. And, um, why are the brake lights inside the passenger cabin? That’s just odd.

But there’s no time to ask. It’s time to pay the man the negotiated fare. (Crap, forgot to bargain again! Guileless, childlike farang.)

Goodbye, little tuk-tuk! We shall meet again, like the next time I need a medium-length ride in motorized transport and don’t have luggage.

More about Thailand soon!

Update: Here’s what we did today, as recounted by Justine.

Local Customs

Posted on by scott

So here we are in Thailand, and I didn’t get around to blogging any of our trip to Britain!

In my defense, the schedule was insanely busy. Four school visits, three interviews, three “Meet the Author” videos, one stage appearance, three lunches and two dinners with booksellers, librarians, editors, and scouts. Two hotels, four trains, a zillion cabs. One flu (Justine’s) and one almost flu (mine).

More about all this later. But for the moment, huge thanks to the two publicists who shepherded me around the country (this means you, Kat and Elisa!) and to all the way-cool British teachers, librarians, and fans I met.

But here’s my current concern: The UK trip was so busy that I didn’t get a chance to read up about Thailand before we got here. I don’t even know how to say “thankyou,” which is just about unforgivable. Justine has been here before and knows how to say some stuff. But women and men have different sentence endings in the Thai language, so I can’t even imitate her! Argh.

And it gets worse. About half an hour from landing in Bangkok, I was reading a guide to Thai etiquette, and came across these rules . . .

Show respect for the monarchy, Buddhism, and the monkhood. Criticism causes universal offence and may be heavily penalised.

Stand for the King’s anthem.

The head is the highest part of the body spiritually and must not be touched or pointed at, particularly by the feet, the lowest part of the body. So never use the feet to move, shut or point at things, nor step on coins or banknotes (they bear the king’s head).

Treat Buddha images with respect. Don’t point at them (especially with feet).

Step over, not on, door thresholds.

Don’t lose your temper. Anger is viewed (and avoided) as temporary insanity and prevents resolution of problems.
—Time Out Bangkok

Okay, now most of this is easy. I rarely give in to temporary insanity, except with printers, MS Word, and the occasional grammar issue. I’ve got my own head of state to diss, so I’m down with respecting the king. (And come on, monks are always cool.)

But the not-pointing part is tricky. I’m a tourist, after all! It’s my job to point at stuff in a charming, slack-jawed way. In fact, a mere hour after reading the rules above, we were cruising down the airport highway, and all these cool Buddhas were planted along the roadside, welcoming us to Thailand.

And I immediately pointed at them. Bad farang!*


Don’t point at the Buddha, dude!

Also, I’m going to have trouble not doing things with my feet. You know, like shutting doors and moving stuff around. What can I say? I played soccer as a kid.

But I’m sure they’ll cut me some slack until the jetlag goes away.

So what, you may ask, are we doing in Thailand? Mostly, we’re getting a chance to stop touring and get some work done. Our six weeks here are like our own little NaNoWriMo!

Speaking of which, are any of you writing a novel in November? It’s what all the cool kids are doing. Plus, it’s fun to say “NaNoWriMo.”

Okay, must start writing, um . . . now. More on the UK later, after I practice not pointing.

*Farang is Thai for “foreigner.” And that’s me.

PS It’s 32C (90 Fahrenheit) here. Woo-hoo!